Independent doesn't mean the person will be aggressive, it just means the person isn't clingy. Just because a person is clingy doesn't mean a person is submissive either, you can be clingy and authoritative.

and neither are any of those attributes binary, its just a gradient, and the extreme of either side ain't healthy.

That's because you're outspoken, you can speak your mind which is not "attractive" for women to do in asian culture. Consider yourself more western in that aspect.

I know clingy people who are not submissive, just because there is some correlation, doesn't mean that one attribute is opposite of the other.