Alright I know this has been asked a gazillion times but here I go again with a twist.

1) You met a girl that has a bf.
2) You know you can't touch her and you tell yourself that you shouldn't.
3) However, most of the time, you end up spending time with her alone and you 2 get to enjoy the times in a very simple way.
4) You keep telling yourself not to do so but at the end still fated to be with her.
5) The girl doesn't go out with guys alone and already openly declared it but you end up getting invited to go out with her.

Would you just go and get this girl?

But then again, from the scenario, it seems that the other hand is clapping as well. I know you guys will come out with quotes like:

"Why can't you choose girls that are single?"
"Why must you destroy the happiness of a couple?"

But then again, I would say in reality that 9 out of 10 men in this world, if they were faced in such a situation, they'd go straight and spanar. Many men (including my friends) say "Happiness is something you fight your way for. If you don't struggle for the said happiness, you will lose it." Although at first I was at a disagreement on this but it seemed that the above scenario that I have encountered, opened me up to the fact that maybe Fate and God wants me to pursue my own happiness in a 'spanaring' way. Nobody knows.

However, if the girl above really did have feelings on me (of course she did at that time if I explained further), then was I the only one at wrong? Don't tell me if I didn't take care of her needs and care for her, it be better and she won't fall for me?

If you guys know the full story, you'd say I be right to spanar because the fact that SHE LIKED ME. But then again, maybe it's too late now.

Seems I need to tell my whole story just to let you guys know how 'stupid' and 'justice' I was for not spanaring.

Here comes the story, will keep it simple:

2 years ago met girl. Girl very quiet and doesn't talk. I tot girl won't talk to me but at the end she opened up. Found girl was quite interesting and wanted to know her more. Eventually, fate played the way (as I would say it) because every gathering that is supposed to be a gang, the other 3 would be late or absent and I end up being alone with her. Strangely she would open up to me and talk to me about various things that I never tot her gang (whom she knew longer) don't know about it. Some are personal things like her family condition and all. She never mentioned anything about her bf until the others talked about it.

One time she had to go to a place to settle something and did not know the way. She asked me if I knew and I offered to go with her there. She initially refused but I insisted because that area is quite dangerous. So we went and while she was settling her stuffs, I was outside waiting. Then another young couple came in and the girl went in to settle the same thing while the guy waited. I suddenly had some haywired thoughts but I got through them.

One time on an exam day, she called me up in a crying manner saying she was afraid that she couldn't remember this and that. She said she felt like being absent. I told her to quit thinking about absent and I consoled her for about 30 mins and finally she managed to get over it and appear on the exam. She said that it was thanks to me that she could overcome the fear. She said she called her bf up before and it did not work and it got worse. She said I was the one who re-established her confidence.

After the exam times, a few days before Xmas, the gang originally planned on going out. However, a week before the day, they all had problems to settle and couldn't make it. So I asked her if she would still want to go out. She said, why not, I promised to treat you lunch after you have been guiding me through and I will honor that. I went on asking what day she was available. She said she is available any day in the day time. Then I went to ask what about dating? She said, normally dating with bf just at night dinner and go home. So finally we went out and we got to talk with each other more and got to make some jokes too. I was actually surprised that she would go out with a guy (me) alone because she clearly said that she WOULD NOT GO OUT WITH A GUY ALONE and have REJECTED MANY OFFERS FROM GUYS ASKING HER OUT ALONE.

After the next semester started, I got to talk with the other girl from the gang and she was terribly shocked to hear that I actually went out with the girl alone. She was like "Didn't she say she wouldn't go out with a guy alone?". Though she made a point where she said the girl might have fallen for me subconsciously (yat gau shang ching in chinese) and slowly without realising.

In the first 2 months of the semester, I decided to take the front seats while the other gang wanted to sit at the middle. I was thinking, maybe I'd be alone again but she followed me. She sat beside me all the time and I was like, this is something. Everyone were looking at us at that time thinking that we might have coupled up.

In days without classes, she would call me up about 1-2 times a day asking for college work. She would be quite punctual, calling me at about 8.45 to 9am everyday and wake me up. And will start by saying "did I wake u up?". Then the conversation would go for normally 15 to 40 mins depending on how much she drags the conversation. There were a few times that she called me up for 40+ mins asking on where to place 'commas', 'full stops', and 'colens' in sentences and my PARENTS WERE LIKE, YOU SURE SHE'S NOT DIGGING YOU?

Things went on like this for quite sometime and around after about 8 months + to 9, the final exams came and the whole gang said that we go out one more time. A new guy who joined later, said that he originally thought that me and the girl were couple when he saw how close we were, talking and smiling to each other.

The strange thing happened on gathering day when on the day itself, she did not SPEAK A WORD WITH ME. I was like, trying to ask her questions and all and she wouldn't answer. So the day went on until it was dinner time and she still did not directly answer any questions from me. One of the gang members suggested a Japanese cuisine dinner and everyone agreed, even she that I KNEW FROM A LONG TIME AGO CANNOT EAT RAW STUFFS. So, during the dinner, she wasn't eating and a few of them seemingly forced her to eat sushi and she did at the end. However, she had to throw the thing out because she could not swallow it. I was like, I told them, she doesn't eat Japanese, stop forcing her. She still kept silent and just said to them (not to me) that she actually doesn't eat and she was full. So when it was parting time, I got to follow the other girl (whom I talked with earlier days) to take the trains. There, I asked her why the girl wouldn't answer me and why did you guys knowing her for so long did not know of HER NOT EATING RAW FOOD. She was shocked that they did not know but I did.

When I thought everything was over, 2 days later, she found me in MSN and wanted my help on how to answer job interview questions. So we did a little practice session on MSN. Hours later, she called me up and said she would be going to an interview around my place (her place and my place are very far from each other). I asked her why she would want to go. She said it was for fun. Out of curiousity and a little scheming I asked her since that she was around my place, why not she take a bus to a place where I can meet up with her and I bring her around. She said ok. However on the night before, she asked me if I would be able to meet her at her interview place and go take strolls after her interview. I agreed and I met her up there and eventually she got another call for an interview on the same day and we had lunch and she went up there while I waited downstairs. She asked me to leave if I felt too boring and what but I still waited. She kept contact with me when she was up there saying it wasn't her turn yet and I should leave if I was tired or what but I said I will wait and DID. After the interview she came down and was not at all surprised to see me waiting. I walked her back to the station where she would go back her home and I go back mine. Back at home, my parents were asking me if 'SHE WAS GIVING ME A WRONG SIGN or I WAS ACCEPTING THE WRONG SIGN'. I never got to know as after that, I heard from the other girl that she ignored me totally after she heard from an 'anonymous' person that I liked her and was about to confess to her. She said if I did confess, it be very bad. I don't get it, why bad?

So this is the story. Do you think it was worthwhile to spanar?

Well, you're saying that this was a fated spanaring case? GAWD! I am regretting now.

What problems do you see in her?

And it was a dang mistake that I didn't. I was holding on too much on my 'JUSTICE' and my morals. Shouldn't have taken that into too much priority.