Take it as complement, a post 14 years ago still can draw such quality response.

This external validation parts, sometime works in a weird way. It is highly dependent on which group you belongs to. The "leader" group or "follower" group. Majority will falls under the follower groups. That's why seeing what other ppl do , the "leader" result have been set as the benchmark of reference for themselves to improve / validate.

Whereas, the leader "group", whatever they do, no one dare to question them as long as they deliver the desirable outcome.

Just take a example of such incident I witnessed.

A distance relatives (younger generation), not the leader group got married. The wedding receptions, the yi mah , gu poh, ah chu , ah kau complaint kau kau. Hosted many tables also complaint - not good enough, location not good enough ( even at air conditioned receptions hall), no tea ceremony - complaint. Just got thing to complaint la.

Versus

Also a distance relative( younger generation) - both doctors. Before married, the baby was born - ok, wor - no complaint !. Some more can get compliment. Do simple buffet style reception like ang moh's style at cafe, small reception. Relatives said bagus - role model, coz save money , smart couple.N tea ceremony- ok, rule can be bended. Food buffer style (so-so), all said bagus, no problem.

See the contrast of the treatment. If you belong to leader - F other ppl opinions, as long as you deliver the results, no one dare to criticize you. If you belong to follower group, you do what also ppl will comments. That is how cruel the world is but that is life & it is never about fairness.

It is more like the strong group will dictate the rules.

Your 14 years ago advice appear more to suite the leader group but can the follower group heed the advice & become the leader group, no one will know.