while insightful, this paints a picture that simplifies a much more complex human experience. You're right in saying that people should stop relying on external validation for their self-worth, but your dismissal of why this happens in the first place misses a crucial point: humans are wired to seek external approval.

It's not just peer pressure driving men (or women) to chase societal standards; it's evolutionary biology at play. We’ve evolved to compete for social status, resources, and mates, and part of that competition is about gaining approval from others. So yes, when guys are chasing “hot” women or trying to fit into some ideal, it’s not just because they’re weak-willed or confused about their needs—it’s because society has conditioned us this way, and biology amplifies it. Ignoring that won’t make the problem go away.

You talk about setting standards as if it’s a simple, linear process: figure out what you want, block out all the noise, and bam, problem solved. But it’s not that straightforward. People are social creatures, and they do care about what others think—not because they’re shallow, but because humans have evolved to value communal acceptance. The idea that "what other people think doesn’t matter" is idealistic at best and ignorant at worst. Social approval impacts everything from our job prospects to mental health. Pretending otherwise ignores basic human nature.

Now, let’s break down your argument that guys chasing "hot" women is a problem because it’s rooted in peer pressure. Sure, peer pressure exists. But guess what? Attraction is not purely a social construct. There's a biological and psychological element too. Men aren't chasing attractive women because of their friends—they're doing it because physical attractiveness has evolutionary roots. It’s how we’ve been programmed for thousands of years. Physical beauty, whether you like it or not, often signals health, fertility, and genetic fitness—traits that, biologically speaking, are desirable. So, setting standards is great and all, but the reason why physical attraction is important to many people is rooted in evolutionary biology, not just shallow societal standards.

But here's the real kicker: you talk about setting your own standards and not caring what people think, but let's not act like that's the end-all solution. The hard truth is that even if you know exactly what you want in life or in a partner, you’re still subject to the standards of others—including the women you’re interested in. You can’t escape external validation entirely because relationships are inherently about mutual selection. So sure, focus on what you want, but you’re going to have to improve and adapt to meet the standards of others too, especially if you’re seeking someone high in value. You say, “be prepared for a hard journey” if you want an attractive, intelligent, funny, loving, and loyal partner—that’s the reality. But don’t gloss over the fact that compromise is an unavoidable part of relationships.

You mention that once someone finds a partner who fits their criteria, outside opinions don’t matter. Again, nice in theory. But in reality, we live in a society where social opinions do affect people. There’s a reason why societal pressure can influence who we choose, whether we like to admit it or not. This is why even confident people feel that pang of doubt when someone says, “You can do better.” Humans are socially conditioned to seek validation from their in-group, and that’s not something you just turn off by deciding your standards. It’s a much more complicated, ingrained psychological process.

In short, your advice to focus on personal standards is good, but overly simplistic. You can’t just discard the influence of society, peer pressure, or biological imperatives. The challenge isn’t to ignore these forces but to navigate them intelligently—to find a balance between internal and external validation, and to recognize that attraction, standards, and self-worth are shaped by more than just personal willpower. It’s about self-awareness in the context of reality, not isolation from it.