why are they worse than hookers? why is it sad if both bf/gf are into such activities? Why are ye so judgemental?

Everyone has different "needs", if they can get it without harming people, its ok. Would I like it if my partner is doing it behind my back? of course not. However if its something we discussed and agreed on, then its a different story.

Some people just don't get intimacy/romance they need out of their partner, maybe the guy ejaculates after 3 seconds and doesn't know how to please a woman, but is great in everything else. So the only logical choice for the girl, is to find a f*ck buddy. It may not be the "right" thing to do, but how many people will actually throw away a partner that fulfils 90% of their requirements to achieve get that missing 10%? Very very few, that is why you get so many people cheating.

Society has always been f**ked up. Its f**ked up now too, but not in the way you think. Sexuality has been made so taboo, that people are incredibly confused. Girls are shunned when they express their sexuality, and guys are now raised too softly, that they are no longer in-tune with their more aggressive instincts which is what attracts women. So you get a society where women pair up with the majority of men who are "soft", hiding their sexuality and only showing it in secret affair.

I'm not sure how you compare it to f`king a tree stump... since its quite different I would agree with darklight though, it feels empty. It may feel great during the intercourse, but that's where it stays. You don't feel emotionally fulfilled.

Some people, just can't change. Some people no matter how much you try to "awaken" them, they will remain the way they are. Its stupid to assume couples do not try to work things out, they often go to great lengths to do it before actually succumbing to external pressure. I'm not justifying their actions, because I don't think its either right/wrong. Its just the way the world is, and this aspect of human relationship has never changed and its unlikely it ever will.

Being in-tune with your sexuality doesn't mean you go around humping everyone. It just means being comfortable about your body and sexuality. When both genders understand this, they'll find partners that suit them and stick to them. Because then you realise what YOU want/need, not based on society's stupid taboos and pressure. You don't have to be afraid of expressing something "taboo" that you need in a relationship.

Should they? Up to them I say. It already happens, men sleeping with other women, women sleeping with other men, most of the times, the partners know they're cheating on each other too. They just turn a blind-eye to it. Some people even share their partners voluntarily (Swingers). Whether it works, depends on the type of relationship between the couple.

The sexual repression i'm talking about, is not about "moral values". It seems you totally missed the point. The repression is the CAUSE of all these problems to begin with. You can express your sexuality, you can be active and indulge in it... all while maintaining and respecting the sanctity of a relationship. The keypoint to understand here is that to do this, you need to understand and be in-touch with your sexuality. If not, you won't know how to handle it, you won't know what you want/need and thus you will always want to "explore", guess what that leads to?


My my... bitter aren't you? are you really any different? We are all human, we all have a degree of selfishness, and when it comes to love, it is inherently selfish. You have to care for yourself first before you can care for your partner. If your own needs are not met, how can you meet the needs of your partner? A relationship works when both sides fulfil each other's needs.

I don't know why people like you are so pissed about stuff like this. Sure it hurts the other party, sure it isn't the "right" thing to do, but you know what? Its irrelevant. Those who are hurt will move on, its a sign that the relationship wasn't meant to be in the first place. Those who cheat will get what's coming to them anyway, and sometimes the cheaters turn out to be the better match. I rather people make these mistakes earlier than later.

Of course its intertwined, the point is that morally, sexuality has been repressed, it needs to be accepted. That doesn't mean you go around humping sheep though... People should learn that sex is NORMAL, and that women need it just as much as men. Its an essential part of human relationship, and its sad that most people just don't get to develop their sexuality properly.


I don't disagree, but sometimes... couples cheat emotionally and not just sexually. Regardless of what the needs are, if they don't get it from their partner, they will get it elsewhere. The point is, people need to learn to let go, and expect that such things will happen, such naivety is unhealthy to begin with.


Yeap, I agree wholeheartedly However, most people will not leave their comfort zones unless forced to. Which is why I actually don't mind people cheating and getting found out. Its better for everyone involved in the long run.

Distrust? No.. you trust them. You just accept the fact that if they cheat, they're not for you. Instead of thinking "it won't happen to me". When you're in the thought of "she may cheat", you start appreciating her more, and thus you treat her better. You give her reason to NOT cheat. If she does anyway, hey.. you've done your best, it wasn't meant to be. Move on.

Easier said than done of course, but this aspect of society HAS NEVER changed, its the same 3000 years ago and it is now. You can't change society, but you can change yourself.


Why must things be so extreme for you? There's always a nice middle ground. I'm cool with casual sex, but I won't do it with someone who's taken. Its still "taboo", people talk about it.. but only among closed circles or anonymously. Look at your reaction, who would want to be judged by others like that?


Oh c`mon, its not only an urban thing. If anything, the only difference urban living makes is the population density. That just means a higher frequency/occurrence of any activity. Its not so much about the lifestyle. All this sleeping around has existed since the dawn of mankind, its never going to stop, but that doesn't mean you need to do it too. Its up to you to decide whether you can live with your actions or not.

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I'm born and raised in KL, my parents and majority of my cousins though, are small town folk. Healthier lifestyle, perhaps, but in the context of this topic... I don't see a difference. The same shit goes on.

There's nothing wrong with it per se, if you understand why those moral values exists, and choose to stick by them, its cool

The problem I see is that people are repressing an essential part of them, and that leads to improperly developed individuals.

The point I've been trying to get across to you seems to be lost. Repressing feelings is not a good thing, you must learn to control them, and to control them, you must accept what these feelings are. The more you repress, the worse it gets as time goes on. A lot of cases of cheating happen due to such repression, then when they can't take it anymore, it explodes... and they take a ride on the downward spiral roller coaster!

Its not easy to get what you want AND need, that's what a partner is for. As darklight has mentioned, casual sex is fun at first, but its unfulfilling, its missing the emotional component that is important, and that you only get from a partner. Finding such a partner is not easy, maintaining someone like that isn't easy either.

The problem is, currently, people get together with someone else, and repress themselves because they think "its not right", but they really want to. So what they show is a facade, its fake. So the relationship starts out on a false pretence, its stupid. People need to stop pretending, and for people to stop pretending, society needs to be less judgemental.