Okay the limitation here is budget.
Get the D60 kit, sell the lens kit if you want a bit more money and if you're not using it at all.
For me VR / OS (sigma equivalent) / VC (tamron equivalent) is useful for 50mm and above..
1. A very very good all rounder lens
Nikkor AF-S 18-200mm f/3.5-5.6 G IF-ED VR II DX lens NEW About RM25xx (better than sigma 18-200 and even tamron 18-270 but expensive)
2. Above 70mm lens with VR but not VR II
Nikon 70-300mm f/4.5-5.6G Nikkor AF-S VR Zoom-Nikkor IF-ED NEW Around RM18xx
3. A very good contant/fixed aperture
Tamron 17-50mm f/2.8 NEW About RM14xx & above
4. Another very good medium range
Sigma 17-70mm f/2.8-4.5 NEW RM13xx & above
Just a note, tamron has quite a number of all rounder lens like 18-200, 18-250, 18-270, 28-300. Not all have VC (Vibration Compensation). SOME newer models with built in motor have VC.
Whatever you choose, make sure you choose lenses with BUILT IN MOTOR because D40/D40x/D60 doesn't have built in AF motor.
Dppreview said Tamron 18-270 is as good as if not better than Nikkor 18-200mm. And this Tamron is with VC one.
For D40/D60 users, I would think that SB400 or SB600 should be more than enough. SB800 or SB900 is too heavy and big size if use on D40/D60 body. If you need to carry few lens plus SB800 or SB900, your shoulder will be hurt

If you have read kenrockwell website before, you will know that he is using SB400 on D40 and able to produce very nice photos. I have own a SB600 but sometimes I also lazy to carry out due to the size of it. Unless there is an event and I need to use it then only I will carry out

Ya, agree. Even SB-600 is quite heavy on D60 body. Cant imagine if with SB-900