How about define average too? Or from your example, it is just simply between unattractive and attractive?

What's with the kitten in my organization cloak? Haha....i sensed that buayakatsuki is going to threaten my akatsuki organization. I better hide myself for awhile.

If you want to make movie or dramas 'successful', you gotta have 'something' that could have touched the heart of the 'audience'. I don't think so it misled, it misled only to your perception. There are really romance movies out there that helps people to achieve their 'best' in their love life and it depends on how you look at the situation. If you're going in with the expectation and crossing fingers hoping that the 'actress' in your love-life is going to be like the one in the drama, know that its no difference than fapping.

Here's the thing, if you were to ask me, i do not care about the ending of romantic movies but i like the ongoing process of the romance happened. The flirting lines, the gestures, the romance 'body-language', the 'stare', the smile and especially the actor's confidence. These are thing that really what people should look for, the essence of romance. Not deriving a conclusion, that we should or could also have a love life like both actor and actress in the movie. Of course it will misled if things didn't turn out to be like the dramas or the movies.

I think one of the best resources in getting love lines and understanding the other love partner is through love movies and dramas. Am not a big fan of taiwan drama (forgive me, but i really hate their acting skills) but im a huge fan of english romance movies for example like i just watched last night, In Holiday by Jude Law, Cameron Diaz, Jack 'Tenacious' Black and Kate Winslet. If you watch them properly you will tend to see how flirting and dating could be so effective in building up romance.

AS the conclusion, don't hope to watch any of these romantic movies and dramas with the expectation i too want to have that kind of 'love' and ending. Don't just focus the bigger picture. Look at the details and process, then perhaps there is a higher chance that probably, you will end up in the same shoes as the actor and actress. Come to think of it, why there are couples out there too, confess that romantic movie have bring them together and strengthen their relationship even stronger? Because i believe they are looking for the essence provided in the movies.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jun 30 2008, 03:56 PM

That even show how true when spanker say you're insecure. The above shows how you actually doesn't think highly of yourself indirectly. I don't know how do you derived most of us here do not think highly of ourselves but i do know you're just making a faulty assumption. I think the one that think highly of themselves is the one that answers confidently in this forum and definitely spotted easily the one that do not think highly of themselves.

Don't get me wrong here. I do hope you should understand that there are people out there are gifted with looks and characteristics that many are looking forward to 'purchase' but what you didn't realize each of us are actually gifted in a way, if we opened our eyes wider. Besides, there are things that what we don't have on ourselves, we have to work our arse off to get it for example, style and prosperity. Being charming, handsome and nice is a plus for any woman because is part of attraction towards the woman, but i don't think so its right to generalize them as for display because same goes for woman that we guys are after. Are there for displays? No, rather than to generalize them like that, we humans actually look MORE from what others can give, simply say, that blaming them for their 'gifts' doesn't necessarily solves issues in relationship. You don't just derive a handsome and caring guy as a hard-to-maintain type of guy because it shows your inability to handle these type of 'people'. Show your confidence instead of fear because fear will only lead you towards the pit of sadness. Besides there are many more factors (direct and indirect approach) that contributes to why people fail in relationship and also can't get their lovers on demand. Have you ever seen a handsome and a desperado guy and a beautiful and mind-control freak? I do, and definitely they aren't 'attractive' to me.



I dunno where you get it, but people have their problems to solve and some sought advices here and some are lucky to get a decent advice. Stating how a person can't get lover, well...all i can say its very demeaning for you to tell these type of people that they can't achieve what others want to have. Well, i do hope you try to be a little bit less judgmental as others too want a good love life, so do you. The only difference is that not all of us here can make 'right' choices every single time, as always we human still have flaws in choosing options in our entire life.

Don't worry little honey, i think one day you will be secure, aight.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jun 30 2008, 04:24 PM

He is of course the white ranger aren't you white drops? Haha......

Here's the thing, if you have one of those guys, you don't have to be someone that 'craves' for attention from him. The more you ask 'approval' from them, the more 'condemn' you will get. Instead make him crave for you. If you're been giving attention to him constantly and yet not to you as well, trust me ericca, you will just asking for a 'break-up' in the future. To keep the attraction 'balance' there must be outflow and inflow. In this case, you must learn how to love him and also love yourself too. Its the simple and most profound concept to how to strengthen your love. Don't ask how you going to 'maintain' these type of person, instead ask yourself why?

If you're hoping to find someone really that is good enough for you, well its not that hard if you learn how to be good to yourself. Hey, trust me, sometimes even our partner now act like the person who isn't GOOD enough for us anyway. Sometimes. But, trust me...no complain or criticize, you will work it out just fine. Thats why, i do hope you don't criticize good looking people = good to see and touch. They are more than that. Remember humans have characterisitics and heart too. Instead of looks, try go look for what other package does they have instead of just looks. Looks can be deceiving but their intention is always clear.

Besides, if you can't maintain these type of people, it indirectly shows your incapability in choosing the 'right' person. But for what is right, everyone makes mistakes for future 'rights'.



To be honest, thats the sign or seed of possessiveness. I'm not saying you shouldn't be possessive but you should understand not to overly do it.


If you go in to a relationship with this kind of thinking, you will be inviting trouble somehow in the future. Ever ask yourself what if things turn 180 degree? Will you just question or ask yourself 'I thought, no stress no suspect?' Trust me, don't say such things which could bring trouble to you though you didn't mean it.

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Added on July 1, 2008, 2:07 pmThere is this saying its either you look at the bottle and say half full or half empty.

Well, to me love makes a person blossom.

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Added on July 1, 2008, 2:10 pmThe game states it all? Haha....you're just a quarter away young fella.

You haven't read other books yet and trust me, there are books out there can fried neil strauss the game. Don't just look at malaysia for example. Go sg or other countries. Trust me, neil strauss is just part of the competition. Maybe a little piece.

Just for romance and how to attract. I've got 5 books.

Maintain relationship, 15 books.

Stop divorce 3 books.

After reading all, Neil Strauss is just a complimentary part in my collection.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 02:10 PM

No...what he says its the truth. Why blame outside if you can't look inside of you? Its easier to blame external factors then to blame whats wrong with you. You should have understand, that you have the power to make choices just like anyone else. Why someone could do better, its because they chose what's best for them. Ask yourself, if you blame the surrounding factors for example, friends, families, and societies 'prejudice', to what extent can you 'improve' yourself especially your perception?

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Added on July 1, 2008, 2:28 pmBecause i'm rich thats why. Haha.....

Is it worth it? Oh yes, no doubt about it. It enhances every part of me especially my perception of love.

Not only that, i still haven't tell how many more self motivating books at my cabinet.

For example, Masters of my dream. Love on Demand. the Secrets. Art of Personal Magnetism. How to get what you want and many more.

And the one that i really want to get is 'The deliberate thinker or secrets' - Its about how a single man transform businessmen into millionaire with just thinking skills. I'm amazed by his teachings and im looking forward to purchase it, but it will costs me a bomb. But its worth it.

why do i do i buy all these? Well, more than 5 years ago, am just like like the opposite of what i am now and i hated my situation. So i decided to change, and to first start by changing my thinking. Thus here is where I am now, a resolution to my old self. Nothing is sweeter than to escape what's 'bad' for yourself isn't it.

A philanthropist is what i want to be.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 02:32 PM

Alright, but its ok. I believe now you should be more confident that before as you are in a relationship now. So be really 'excite' about it. Feel the electricity babe. Haha..

About criticism, do note that criticism is like a horning pigeon. It always comes home. You will get what i mean here. More likely, criticism will only hurt yourself and the other. If others criticize, let them be. Its better to stop a negative argument rather than to start a war, isn't it? If you just stop criticize and be more attentive and appreciates what others can give, you will tend to get better things in life. I've used to criticize alot, hell yeah it makes me felt more superior but more likely people will tend to go 'away' from me. I dont want that. So i do hope you understand the nature of criticism. It condemns people more than actually realizing what they don't understand from you.

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Added on July 1, 2008, 3:00 pmHaha, FEELINGS do change, so its up to the person to change the direction or the magnitude of the feelings. Be creative somehow.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 09:34 PM

Now arguing, doesn't necessarily means either one must win or lose. It is actually about sharing the ideas that both conveys. If you're going in an argument with a competitive mindset, then you're mostly waiting to get another big argument on your way. Besides, can you prove yourself 100% right? Sometimes there are things that right or wrong isn't the answer. The only way to convince another through an argument is through Persuasion and Listening. Learn how to understand, then also know when you should Lead the Arguments. If you say, alright let him win, then next time let you win? Its that give and take in relationship? No, thats more like putting a mini time bomb in the relationship. Its not like that. Go with the mindset of sharing. If you disagree, let him finish his talk, then from there you Lead. And don't criticize. Its hard to don't criticize as others disagree, even me can't control me self sometimes. Haha, but it takes incredibly lots of patience and im still learning it but im way better compre to myself last time.



Anything extreme is good because it could shows the sign of 'giving' but anything extreme which is 'bad', now thats not good. Do you want extreme pollution for example?

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 09:32 PM

How sure are you when life wasn't FAIR to Most people? Like i stated before, you're just blaming the 'outside' factor, finding things which seems 'easier' for you to blame. Is that what you think? Seriously, a MAN, i mean a REAL MAN, knows what it takes to to SURVIVE. You don't just point your finger and pick which one you hate and say hey that is his or her fault, or for your case, its LIFE fault. How do you describe LIFE btw actually? Life is broad in general.

Is good that you make your life meaningful but i bet your life will be more meaningful if you just focus on yourself and your capability and stop putting blame on life. Besides, i just don't see how you could make a decision to just let us here know that LIFE here is not FAIR to MOST people. You don't have the power to have a say about it. You're just you.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 1 2008, 09:30 PM

Still if you haven't answered my question 'Why life isn't unfair to Most?' i can still jump in and ask back 'Why life isn't unfair to Most?' that i mentioned previously.

So you think if all people in this world is rich, do you think the world is going to be Utopia? Economically speaking the rich need the poor to be called themselves rich. Its always the matter who wants and deserves more. If you're just looking at the outside picture or 'the world' that you used to mention previously, just like i say before, its easier to see why from the outside than to see why from the inside of you. Just because we have different 'life' that doesn't mean it is unfair? Like i stated b4, you don't have the power to say that. You're just narrowing your scope to rich, healthy, sick, poor and many more tangible stuffs. How about the intangible stuffs? You're just tired of carrying your own dilemma and problems....hey (whistling)..listen here, just so you know 'We are tired too carrying our problems but at least we don't whine and complain about it because as a matter of fact problems should be solved instead of waiting for miracles and other people's solutions.



You see whats wrong with you? You rather hoping others people will get your brother dysfunctional disease, than for your brother to 'have' it. Is that what you call 'FAIR'? By hoping that your life is better than the other? Dude you're blaming for all the bad things in your life. I'm going to tell you straight forward, my life is not as easy as i thought it used to be. Every body had their own 'challenges' given to them and by God. Just because of your brothers problem that doesn't mean you should tell why others should have it instead of your brother. I'm very disheartened when you say that. You simply assumed, that all those rich and healthy people are problem free. Seriously, widen your scope of understanding your society surround you. Perhaps you will get a better judgment from what you're saying now. Just remember, if you want to make yourself to live in a better place, stop blaming and learn the meaning of acceptance. Each of us got our own unique problem. Its only the matter of who are able to be in one shoes and to understand what he or she is going through. Yeah i know autisme is for a life time, my neighbour Dennis is the same. But at least he is always happy for who is him right now and im very proud to have him as my neighbor because you know why? I don't judge. For you as a brother, what exactly can you change about him if given you had a choice? Trust me, sometimes the thing that you hate, you will miss it or the person when it or the person is gone. You will never know when that time comes. So learn to accept. I have once a very sick grandma, she passed away and only 2 months i know about it and im the last person to know it just because my mom want me to focus on my studies. Now did i blame it is unfair? No, rather than to see my beloved grandma 'sadly' passed away, i told myself to stop weeping and told myself to score well in my studies for the sake of myself and my family. The difference between you and me is that i don't blame. And i live life a 'happier' way.



If you ever learn economic, i suggest you do some readings before we even debate on this. If you understand the meaning of productivity, income per capita, GDP and GNP....you will get the glimpse. Besides even Japan and the United States and also China are having problems even though they are the biggest economic power in the world. Like i say, don't assume that the prosperous are 'problem-free'. There is no such thing as 'prosperous are better' because in this context you have to look in a much much much bigger scope to even debate what's the meaning of a country prosperity after all. Besides, not to even mention economic fluctuations. So, are you going to talk on that too? Trust me, it will be the chicken or egg dilemma.



I tell you what, as much a i love to see who you are right now or get to know you better, as much as i also want to tell you life is fair after all. If you say life isn't fair, it shows your negativity thinking and thus there comes the blaming from you towards the external factors such as God for example. Life is fair if you look at the bigger picture. It provides 'abundance' for the one that 'wants' it more than the other and provides 'scarcity' to the one that just go blames around for something that they can't have. In the end of the day, most of the outside matters is always controlled by what's within you. That's why there are subject called consumer behavior and heroism. Life is in the neutral stance, thus it is fair.

You say you're a Real Man? Forgive me, but i think you're a Sad Man. Because if you understand what real Man is, first he never even complains or whines about the things that he can't have but he will struggle to achieve his best. He too knows how to feel what others can feel. If you expect others to feel your shoes, then do yourself a favor, how about by starting putting yourself in our shoes. Then you know, you will have a good start. Just because we felt your shoes doesn't make you a Real Man. Like i say b4, everyone have their own guilt and problems. If you want us to sympathizes you and say you're a Real Man, well ok there you go Real Man, but trust me deep inside of you, you will never felt like a Real Man if you always start craving for 'attention'.

When you're talking about your brother sickness, when you say why the fate falls on him and not to the other, aren't you indirectly hoping that others should have the disease to felt like how your brother did? Try you look back and read your post. Try to see the essence behind it especially the autisme part. Look at the way you describe it. Isn't it very demeaning to put it that way. Doesn't it show that you're not accepting it as the way things are especially your bro's case?

I don't have to repeat, but everybody got their problems. If you thought that shifting the blame would have make anything clearer than most probably you fall on the wrong side. What is fair to you could be unfair to someone. But what is unfair to you it could be fair to someone. You don't have a say to how life is being unfair to those unfortunates.

Well, did i actually force you to accept that life is FAIR? I'm just merely expressing my disagreement with you thats all. But if you chose to see things that way, then it is up2u. but do understand you're just answering for the 'poor' people part. Can you answer for the 'rich' people part? And from there on give a better judgment on this issue? Look at both ways. If you can answer for the unfortunate part, ask yourself how do you answer for the 'fortunate' part. Then you will likely have another point of view. Then ask yourself again, does the fortunate ones is always fortunate all the time? Or could the unfortunate one accept themselves as being fortunate for who they are instead of what they lack of? There are some 'poor' people i know who have a very happy life. Isn't that sound fortunate to you? Don't always think that luxury or any other monetary things is a 'fortune'. It comes with a price especially happiness. So don't always think that 'rich' people are destined to be 'problem-free'. They do have the money, but do they have the wits to handle their own money?

What silverhawk say is the most profound and prominent way to describe about life. Life is fair in the way it is unfair Now that is what a Wise and Real Man should say about life.

Buayakatsuki is lurking almost everywhere in lyn....at least some help could shred off some trouble from the buayakatsuki members. hehe.....

Like i mention before in other post, its up to the person whether he chose what he wants to be. If you're shy, ask yourselves what do you get from shyness compare to being confident and dominant? If being shy isn't the result that you want, then learn to be confident(thats the most important criteria). There are many self enrichment books out there to be discovered to help improve a man leadership, social communication in terms of Persuasion, emphaty, understanding, moral and ethics value and also vision.

I will agree on your part that it can be learn but i wil have to disagree that is a kind of natural born skill. I don't think i was born with social dominant skills but i was elected to be the monitor in my secondary class since form 1 to form 5 because of the leadership i can provide to the class. During that five years period, i learn alot in how to handle people (disheartening and happy moments), and thats the key point to be social dominant, to 'HEAR' the people surround me and know how to 'LEAD' them to get what or where they want to be for example. Btw, being a scout commander wasn't that easy too.

Expertise and intelligence too plays a huge part of it. And these things can be learn and taught by our 'seniors' or elders.

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Added on July 4, 2008, 4:51 pmNot only efficiency matters, effectiveness too. People always tend to look at the tangible side instead of the intangible ones such as efforts for example instead of results.

Your third criteria that you mentioned are partly true. Doesn't necessarily need advice with wisdom. Good leader will tend to hear from what his or her members wanted him or her to listen. Doesn't mean you're a leader, you should 'be-little' your members simply because you think you're smarter than them. A good leader is like a captain of ship. He knows how to direct the ship to its destination. He may have little skills in tying the knots or cooking, but as long as he can sail the ship & arrive in its own destination plus his sailors are happy with him, then thats a good leader.

Its a management skill of course thats why its an art of directing people. But just like you mentioned its something outstanding to be a successful leader but its also hard in terms of sacrificing own needs sometimes.

This post has been edited by peinsama: Jul 4 2008, 06:19 PM

Are you sure House is socially dominant? More like Dr Cuddy to me, though after watching till season 3.

Besides, House seems to be like Dr Cox (Scrubs). Using narcissism and pride as a way to establish their reputation in their hospitals and of course together with their jokes especially dark humor.