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> FACE THE TRUTH, The Real Game of Love

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TSezralimm
post Jun 26 2008, 01:23 AM, updated 5y ago

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------------------------------------
THE REAL GAME OF LOVE
------------------------------------

First, a few definitions:
Social Dominance: in control of one's life and has a certain level of connectedness with those in his social circle. In the modern world, social dominance is difficult to achieve without money, but possible on a tight budget none the less.
Pretty: sexually attractive / proportionate (whatever your definition of sexual attractiveness may be)
Ugly: not sexually attractive / disproportionate (note: it's not about being slim or chubby...)


Consider the following statements:

Guys like girls who are pretty.
Girls like guys who are socially dominant.

Guys would not usually think of actively courting / spending resources on girls whom they are not at least a little bit sexually attracted (or physically aroused by) to.

Girls would not usually think of actively trying to get the attention of guys whom they perceive as being weak.

Guys try to court the pretty girls.
Pretty girls have a wide choice of guys.
Pretty girls will not usually settle for guys who are non-socially dominant.

Girls try to attract the socially dominant guys.
Socially dominant guys have a wide choice of girls.
Socially dominant guys will not usually settle for girls who are ugly.


Your "average" girl may just so happen to appeal to a really socially dominant guy.
Your "average" guy may just so happen to appeal to a really pretty girl.

Face it,
Being pretty improves a girl's chances of finding the right guy who is reasonably socially dominant, reasonably well built, and compatible.
Being socially dominant improves a guy's chances of finding the right girl who is reasonably charming/feminine, reasonably sexually attractive, and compatible.


That Said,
Not all girls are pretty.
What about the girl who realizes that she's in her 30s and has never dated? She was never sexually attractive enough to have a guy who was up to her expectations ask her out. All this while she was distracted by the pursuit of knowledge and wealth/career. Her biological clock is ticking. She knows she's way past her prime... Her ovaries are not going to wait for her. They are shriveling by the day...
Not all guys are socially dominant.

What about the guy who never attracted the attention of a girl whom he finds reasonably attractive? He's too shy to ask girls out because of bad experiences (with the pretty girls who had more eligable suitors). He's been working for 10 years and now has his own little humble place. He's feeling lonely and knows that his youth is nearing it's end. He's never even gotten laid before (ok, that's a bit cruel to say)

Reality Bites
The average guy learns to lower his expectations/standard to a point where he is comfortable. He finds a girl who he thinks is right for him. He calls it love after awhile.

The average girl learns that the most eligable bachelors are out of her reach and looks elsewhere. She finds a guy who he thinks is right for her. She calls it love after awhile.


Caveat
1) Cultural compatibility plays a key role in finding a life partner. Social dominance and beauty will not guarantee the person you find attractive is right for you.
2) Different people have different standards for beauty/attractiveness/social dominance. Mika recently wrote a song about how chubby girls are attractive in their own way. DONT JUDGE PEOPLE too much.
3) Attractiveness may literally be "chemical". Scientists now believe that people with differing sets of genes for bacterial/viral immunity are more likely to like each other's natural scent (eg. the smell of your t shirt after you've worn it all night to sleep).

What im trying to say is that there are other factors that come in to play asides from the major ones in red and blue.

Personally...
...the person whom i very much would have liked to spend my life with was NOT the prettiest person i've ever dated. We were compatible, and in her I saw "home". I cant explain it, but I DID FIND HER REASONABLY ATTRACTIVE. Unfortunately, we were to go our separate ways sad.gif


--------------------------------------------
BIG Questions This Thread Answers
--------------------------------------------


Why It Is So Hard To Find A Date On A Friday Night?
1) Your standards are too high.
2) You are not attractive enough yourself to attract a partner of your standard.

How Come Western Society With All It's "Pergaulan Bebas" (With Girls Wearing Hotpants and Spaghetti Straps) Has Not Disintegrated?
...because everyone has expectations. The girl with a hot body knows she is attractive and expects to get the guy who is up to her standards. The same goes for the socially dominant guys. Everyone tries to find the most attractive partner they can. Most girls are not that pretty. Most guys are not socially dominant. Hence, social breakdown will not occur even with free mingling. Revealing clothing can be seductive when worn by the right people, but let's face it... Sometimes i'd wish some girls were forbidden from wearing revealing tops. Not because it's arousing, but rather because its just disgusting to look at. Yup, the clothes that hide beauty can also serve to hide ugliness. So what about the beautiful girls? Eye candy to oogle at. But they are picky and free to choose who they are dating. The numerous guys who are turned on by them wont even stand a chance. If malaysian women were to dress more revealingly, I dont think society would disintegrate. Rather, people would be more aware of where they stand in the game of love and attractiveness.

Antithesis of the Moralistic Paradigm: Malaysians are generally taught in our education system (PI or Moral) about the need for moral safeguards and interventions (eg J.A.I.S. raids) with regards to dating and sex. According to the moralists, society would disintegrate without such measures. "Pergaulan bebas", or free inter-gender mingling, is discouraged. Camps are segregated. The college that I went to even had a gender segregated cafeteria! We are taught to hate or frown upon the natural approach to dating and relationships. We are taught that women should not reveal themselves as it is harmful to society.




If you are a guy and have found this post useful, do read the following:
What Girls Really Want In A Man.
A bump in that thread will be much appreciated, for the good of MAN-kind.

This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jul 27 2008, 10:26 PM
Fatimus
post Jun 26 2008, 01:29 AM

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This, my friend, deserve a sticky after your previous thread. smile.gif

You made my day.
silverhawk
post Jun 26 2008, 02:07 AM

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Good post mate smile.gif



eXPeri3nc3
post Jun 26 2008, 02:12 AM

It's coming! 3ɔu3ıɹǝdxǝ ♥
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I like this thread compared to the previous one. At least it's straightforward heh.
Well I'm not dissing your threads, at all. Just that I prefer this one to your old thread.

Nevertheless I do find both useful. Good job for posting.
sets84
post Jun 26 2008, 03:22 AM

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another great post by a great poster, pretty much sums out how the world works...
but i still have a hunch that there will still be guys who would come into the forums blaming how money magically drops the pants of females

This post has been edited by sets84: Jun 26 2008, 03:23 AM
peinsama
post Jun 26 2008, 05:11 AM

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How about define average too? Or from your example, it is just simply between unattractive and attractive?
ah_suknat
post Jun 26 2008, 05:33 AM

whoooooooooooooop
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hmm hmm hmm great post targeting the average joe audience out there.

me not going to be the average guy. I am trying to become the social dominant guy, pick the materialistic woman just to let them fall down hard.

revenge is fun.
nightmarej4ck
post Jun 26 2008, 05:40 AM

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i agreee with u this shud a very meaningful post i read so far///
xmsa666
post Jun 26 2008, 08:44 AM

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Great post , Now the only thing that can top it off , is that you also post a video of you actually picking up a girl giving an explanation of how you handled the dynamics , that would be better than this !
dopodplaya
post Jun 26 2008, 09:54 AM

Look at all my stars!!
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stick this one mods...
ezralimm - u finally impressed us... prolly?
Evangelistica
post Jun 26 2008, 09:54 AM

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Yup, great post. Deserves to be pinned. The world, truth sucks and yeah, reality bites you in the ass !!
kanabalize
post Jun 26 2008, 10:06 PM

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Great!!!
yukiz
post Jun 26 2008, 11:36 PM

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damn long wor...read till wanna fall asleep d...

but quite informative... icon_rolleyes.gif
peinsama
post Jun 26 2008, 11:43 PM

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QUOTE(yukiz @ Jun 26 2008, 11:36 PM)
damn long wor...read till wanna fall asleep d...

but quite informative... icon_rolleyes.gif
*
What's with the kitten in my organization cloak? Haha....i sensed that buayakatsuki is going to threaten my akatsuki organization. I better hide myself for awhile.
silverhawk
post Jun 26 2008, 11:53 PM

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QUOTE(peinsama @ Jun 26 2008, 11:43 PM)
What's with the kitten in my organization cloak? Haha....i sensed that buayakatsuki is going to threaten my akatsuki organization. I better hide myself for awhile.
*
THe hawk organisation is now working with akatsuki, so its fine on my end biggrin.gif
honght
post Jun 27 2008, 12:21 AM

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Omfg
Thread of the season
Thx alot m8
kean89
post Jun 27 2008, 12:47 AM

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Awesome write on the complexity of social dynamics. Kudos to you. rclxms.gif
W_9235
post Jun 27 2008, 09:27 AM

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after reading this.. i dont kno where i am...

Very nice info...
TSezralimm
post Jun 27 2008, 11:44 AM

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QUOTE(Fatimus @ Jun 26 2008, 01:29 AM)
This, my friend, deserve a sticky after your previous thread. smile.gif
You made my day.
*
QUOTE(dopodplaya @ Jun 26 2008, 09:54 AM)
stick this one mods...
ezralimm - u finally impressed us... prolly?
*
QUOTE(Evangelistica @ Jun 26 2008, 09:54 AM)
Yup, great post. Deserves to be pinned. The world, truth sucks and yeah, reality bites you in the ass !!
*
Will start a poll to request pin when article is complete.

QUOTE(silverhawk @ Jun 26 2008, 02:07 AM)
Good post mate smile.gif
*
QUOTE(eXPeri3nc3 @ Jun 26 2008, 02:12 AM)
I like this thread compared to the previous one. At least it's straightforward heh.
Well I'm not dissing your threads, at all. Just that I prefer this one to your old thread.
Nevertheless I do find both useful. Good job for posting.
*
QUOTE(sets84 @ Jun 26 2008, 03:22 AM)
another great post by a great poster, pretty much sums out how the world works...
but i still have a hunch that there will still be guys who would come into the forums blaming how money magically drops the pants of females
*
QUOTE(nightmarej4ck @ Jun 26 2008, 05:40 AM)
i agreee with u this shud a very meaningful post i read so far///
*
QUOTE(kanabalize @ Jun 26 2008, 10:06 PM)
Great!!!
*
QUOTE(honght @ Jun 27 2008, 12:21 AM)
Omfg
Thread of the season
Thx alot m8
*
QUOTE(W_9235 @ Jun 27 2008, 09:27 AM)
after reading this.. i dont kno where i am...
Very nice info...
*
Thanks for the compliments!


QUOTE(kean89 @ Jun 27 2008, 12:47 AM)
Awesome write on the complexity of social dynamics. Kudos to you. rclxms.gif
*
smile.gif I did this on my spare time. Im not an arts student, although if I didnt get the course of my choice I may have likely chosen something to do with sociology/anthropology.


QUOTE(sets84 @ Jun 26 2008, 03:22 AM)
another great post by a great poster, pretty much sums out how the world works...
but i still have a hunch that there will still be guys who would come into the forums blaming how money magically drops the pants of females
*
Those kinds of guys would always exist wouldnt they. DIfficult to reason with them. Just like the girls who think guys just look at TnA (tits and ass) when judging women.


QUOTE(xmsa666 @ Jun 26 2008, 08:44 AM)
Great post , Now the only thing that can top it off , is that you also post a video of you actually picking up a girl giving an explanation of how you handled the dynamics , that would be better than this !
*
Hahaha, maybe in the far future, not anytime soon. Aiming to complete the article over the next few weeks.



Coming up:

The BIG questions of life that this article has answered. (it's not what you think it is wink.gif trust me.)
What prompted me to think about all of this.
General cleanup, append caveat #4, and update layout. Prob remove the spoiler in the beginning as well.

This post has been edited by ezralimm: Jun 27 2008, 11:46 AM
kanabalize
post Jun 27 2008, 11:56 AM

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we want more insights

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