If the answer is 3, then please do seriously consider resigning.
There's no point in staying in a company that you're not
exactly in synch with. And having him there just adds more
oil to the fire. Do yourself a favor and look for another
opportunity elsewhere.

Either way, I'm the kinda person who'll never date my colleagues
due to myriads of reasons. One being your current situation.

So. Think hard if you're happy at your work place.
If you're capable, you'd be able to find employment opportunities
elsewhere. I'd encourage you to approach one of your superiors
regarding your concerns over work and see if they can do
anything to help your situation.

It's understandable that we cannot bring in private matters to
work. But at least you're being honest. If your employer is
open to dialogue, you should reconsider staying. But if they
aren't willing to even give you a lending ear, maybe you
can consider finding a better and more human boss.

- Scenario 2 - Stupid Ex
If your answer is just no.2, then.. if you still love being in the company,
do yourself a favour and just f*** him. You don't deserve to feel
like shit when he's in the roll for good feels just because he had
the upper leverage for being the one to initiate the breakup.

I know that it sucks to be broken up with. But if you wanna stay
in the company with him around, you have to really show that
his presence around you won't affect your performance, and
you are actually unfazed by his decision to leave you.

And in order to do that, you would have to really genuinely feel
that it was his lost for letting you go, and it suits him right to
be an "eligible bachelor" once again.

That takes time and willpower to do. If you want to do this, then
you've gotta first decide to do it. The first few weeks will be the
hardest. You'd feel like giving up all the time.

How hard it'd be depends on how much good intimate times
you've shared together. The less you have, the easier it is.
Same goes to advents of rage and distrust. If there are any
at all, you'll find that you'd be very apologetic at first.

But after your mind starts to flip, you realize that you're actually
not trying to get any of his approval anymore. You're just furious
that he took you so lightly after 3 years and decided to finally
tell you that "it's a waste of time being with you" to your face
by breaking up with you.

So give yourself some time and you'll grow stronger. After some
time passes, you'd start to notice that you really do care less,
and your genuine smile will return to your face.

Maybe then, you can consider redemption and scoring with
a really hot guy, just to make him feel like shit.
(I'm strongly against rebounds though. So do it if it feels
right for you. Do it not because you want him to feel jealous,
but because it really makes you feel fulfilled and happy. Him
being jealous should be a side effect, not a major outcome.)

- Scenario 1 - Shithouse Workplace
a. The bosses suck.
b. Your colleagues suck.
c. Your work environment sucks.
d. The work culture sucks.
e. The traffic sucks.
f. The hours suck.
g. Breaking up with your only close friend and colleague sucks.
g. The work generally sucks donkey balls.

If it's not at least 3 of the above, then... maybe you
don't hate your company enough to leave it just yet.

Find a way to have an open dialogue with your employer
and voice your concerns over why you don't feel happy
and fulfilled with what you do. (unless if it's by default
that your bosses are shitheads then...)

If they can help you sort it out, you should give your
workplace another chance. If they can't, then the choice
is yours to make. I personally think good bosses will
help you through parts of your personal growth while
being in the professional line of work.

They will try to help you with your concerns if they'd like you
to stay. If they don't, it's clearly that you're dispensable to them.

Nobody deserves to be treated like garbage. If you ever
feel like this in any way, then it'd be a good idea to follow
your intuition and never look back.

------

A relationship cannot thrive when the following conditions are present:
1. To love out of sympathy
2. To love out of convenience
3. To love out of obligation

It's not impossible for a relationship to begin with any of the above
3 conditions, but those conditions shouldn't last indefinitely if you're
already in a relationship. It's ok if it helps you develop feelings for
someone. But if it still feels that way after a long time; boy. You're
in for some heavy heartache.

And from your story, I have reasons to believe that your ex more
or less follows the same principles.

I mean...

Why pretend to love someone when you know you can't?

I believe that love has to come out sincere from the bottom of
your heart. And it has to be genuine. If it's masked by another
intent, then it's just destined to crash and burn sooner or later.

If you're not gonna give someone your first rate version of love,
then you might as well don't give any at all. If you find that you're
not giving someone you love the first rate treatment, then something
is amiss somewhere. And I think your ex saw that.

I'm almost certain that she still cares for you and she doesn't want
to waste any more of your precious time with someone (herself) who
can't love you as much as you do for her. And to stop you from hurting
long-term, she has to hurt you this way. You have to understand that
there's no other better way for her to make you let her go.

I mean, at least she didn't openly cheat on another guy on you
or just blow you off negatively like a sour-ass b****. She ended
it as civilized as she could didn't she?

It was peaceful. No drama. Straight to the point.

I can't think of any other way for her to break up with you without
hurting your feelings because she realized that she still cares for you
but can't find it in herself to love you like how she did anymore.

Her breaking up with you and actually finding the courage to let you
go when she knows that she loves you, but no longer is in love with
you, that's really tough man.

It definitely sucks donkeyballs to love so hard for x amount of time only to end
up feeling hollow, empty and lost about something that once felt certain or right.

Just think about it; One day, you wake up, dating this dude again. Then everything
felt different, awkward and uncomfortable. You thought it was a one-off thing and
maybe it'd pass on the following day, so you keep on hoping for it to snap back into
what was regarded as normal in your relationship.

Day after day you waited. You shrugged it off.
But it never reverted. And kept getting increasingly frustrating and suffocating.

And you find yourself becoming bitter.

This guy's like always treating you so nicely, but you can't seem to reciprocate
properly in kind. Everything felt jarring. And you end up feeling so guilty
and sorry for that person.

So just think for a minute and ask yourself:
How would you have acted, if you were put into her shoes?

For all it's worth, she might even be thinking that she's undeserving of
someone like you. From your story, you sound like a responsible, reliable
and genuine human being. And I'm pretty sure you are.

Because if you weren't, I don't think she'd have left you. She has faith that
her leaving you is for the best, and that you'll make another girl really happy.
She has faith that you'll still be able to fall in love, and it'd be responded in
kind. She didn't want you to have a plaguing relationship with her

And from that, I can tell you that you're a very lucky man. Very few girls
can love a man like that. Love the man enough to let him go for the better.
She already knows that she can't offer you anything solid but the company.

She felt pointless for you to just have her body when you're also supposed
to have her mind, heart, the total of what makes her a person. If you're just
looking for a body, a simple love doll or prostitute would suffice.

Trust isn't a commodity. You can't trade it or barter for it.

Trust is built.

It is a construct manifested by two individuals who direly
want to bridge their souls together in efforts to get to know
each other better and deeper. If there was no such thing
in your relationship, then you were experiencing a different
kinda of trust.

A type of one-sided trust.
Self-trusting.

We're all quite acquainted with the word.
It's called faith.

Faith doesn't require you to have something in return.
You just need to have something to offer.

And there comes sacrifice.

By sacrificing communication, you delve into this state
of oblivious bliss. A type of blindness. No matter what you
do, for as long as you're doing something with thoughts to
that other person, it fills your void with happiness.

If you happen to chance upon a person who can have faith in
you, and you can do the same for her, for Heaven's sake; for
your sake, do not let her go.

Because if you do, you're about to lose the greatest relationship
one can ever experience; an two-way unrequited love relationship.

So, going back to the topic; you mentioned that

How could one have so much faith in someone, but lose it all in a
blink of an eye? What made you feel so betrayed that all your
faith in her vaporized into nothingness?

Answer that slowly. You'll understand yourself better after a while.
Because I can tell you this one thing:

For as long as you don't figure out how you could lose your faith
in someone, you'll never be able to truly love someone entirely.

So with this temporary pocket of nothing you have, please figure it
out for the sake of your future partner. Spare her the agony of heartache.
Spare yourself the agony of indecisiveness, doubt and sever confusion.

For all it's worth, your relationship lasted 5 years. So take at least 2 and
a half years off to think it through properly. I mean, you really have no set
time limit. You just need to pray and work hard that you get to figure it out
before the next person comes along in your life.

Trust me, you really donwanna be figuring it out when that person is just
right in front of you, waiting for you to open your door to let her into your
heart, so that she could love you like nobody else could.

Think of it like this, if you could have the urge to find someone else, meet her,
talk to her and kiss her, would it help you get over your ex?

The answer is yes. Because you'd be assimilating again. But you don't have to
force yourself to change your habits. You're just loving someone else with the
same couple habits you've picked up.

I don't condone rebounds, but it's a thought that you have to acknowledge.
Please understand that you don't necessarily need another girl. Who knows,
sometimes a pillow helps bigtime until the habit slowly fades away.

Do whatever you need to do.

It's normal for such feelings to linger. It's proof that she was very important
to you. The pain we experience because of breaking up is evidence that we
feel very strongly for someone.

And I really can't see how that is a bad thing at all.

To have felt such a pain before is a blessing in itself. Because not everyone
can love like you do. And that pain will make you love the next person better.
Because it's human nature to not want others to share our pain.

You only have 2 choices; to encapsulate yourself in self-delirium, or to head towards
the exit and see what lies beyond the entrance.

If you think she's the one and you'll stay happy just thinking about her, then by all
means, keep living like a hermit. If it makes you happy, then nobody has the right
to say anything about the way you wanna live.

If you're confused right now, chance are she's not the one. Because if she was, how
could there be any room at all for doubt in your heart? And you're only confused
for as long as you don't get the right answers to the right questions.

Once you solve all those mysteries, the confusion will disappear.