after read the posts you guys posted, everything is just mess up in my mind now. i don't know what should i do. maybe i just need a break. but thanks for those who is supporting me. at least i feel better when i speak out the words in my heart and listen to ur opinions. before this, i kept everything with myself and it makes me feel so worse. what should i do to cheer myself up? 

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Added on May 13, 2010, 7:24 pm
he has finished his exam today. but still same, no response from him. actually, i just want to know whether he still loves me or not. if his heart isn't with me already, there's no point for me to stay.

we can't sit down to talk is because i'm not in kl with him now. but i thought we can talk through phone rite? forget it, he didn't even giving me one chance. i feel like giving up, but whenever i think about my kl life with him..i just couldn't end it up. let me explain my 'kl life'. as i mentioned we have been staying together since last year, almost one year already.. we always stick together and he will send and pick me up from college everyday. we talk everything, we share everything. i'm doing training in my hometown now, actually i didn't want to go back hometown to do training, but he asked me to. ok, fine. i listened to him. it's only now forth week of my training, our relationship just suddenly gone so worse. After tenth week of training, i'm gonna go back to kl continue my studies. all my stuffs are still at his house. everytime i think about moving out, i just couldn't.. he's the only closest to me. i'm afraid even when i go back kl, i can't even concentrate on my studies already. i will i know collapse *sigh*

i know i have to be independent. but it's so hard for me to even think of it. until now, i still can't believe everything has become so worse. our happy moments are still so fresh in my mind that like just happened yesterday. it's really hard for me to accept.. it's 5years+, we even talked about getting married after graduate and talk about kids. our parents already met too. it's so hard  i will collapse but i know i only can depend on myself to stand up again. may i ask sth? what's the reason you and your ex brokeup?

right..time heals. appreciate and thanks to vo0de3_x | oum@n and suffaxile for helping out so much.    i have only a few close friends, but i don't really talk about my relationship problem with them. and they're busy with their boyfriend too. well, right..i'm still young, what for rushing? i have to heal the wound and concentrate on my studies. actually i went to 'tilik nasib' today, u guys know what is that rite? well, some ppl will believe it but some don't. the person told me that he's not my mr right and he is immature. he's just a passenger passing by in my life, no matter how long i'm gonna be with him, this relationship is gonna end still. this relationship and studies are making me too stress. i'm way being too serious in this relationship over these years. i was told that having gf for him is like for showing off. Maybe Peach88 is also right, probably he's interested in other girls. no matter what it is, i know i must accept the fact. what i need is time..

i received the answer yesterday night. i believe the reason is not because of he has another gal. but he said, if i didn't have look for him for the last few days and just left him alone, maybe he would still be with me. but because i looked for him..(maybe he felt frustrated, annoyed, exhausted). i looked for him is  cos i miss him lots, but it's now all my fault! he is now already decided to give up cos i failed to leave him alone. i'm not gonna stay with him anymore, probably he might go overseas to further studies as he said he feels unhappy and stress for staying here. i couldn't sleep at all in the night and woke up early in the morning first thing i do is cry. i feel very very stress!

i'm feeling so stress. i eventually collapse in front of my family. i will cry but i will also gambatte together with you guys.

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Added on May 16, 2010, 9:18 pm


How do you know he needs your encouragement? If he does, would he be asking for a break up and telling you he is tired of everything?

you're right.. i shouldn't contact him anymore. what for? i care him he won't even bother. he's the one chose to breakup and hurt me so badly, there's no point for me to do so already. thank you BlueWind, i will learn to be strong.

reading the last pages felt that our feelings are all the same...it's like oh...u read wat am i thinking.... those words are easy to say...but its really really hard to do...soemtiems emotional gets over u.. i really hope to get over it as soon as possible..i even pray for it.. it is really not a good feeling to have...i feel like puking or no appetite whenever i thought of it... congratz to those who has already move on....

im saD ...

I don't know why, but I still think back of the past a lot. At times, it would just happen randomly, eg. looking at something, while reading a book etc. And it has been so many months! Sometimes I really wish I have short term memory loss, forget about those past memories..

Haha, yea, but sometimes when I have these flashback of the past, I feel kinda emo, mostly those happy memories. I don't know whether this is a sign that I have not move on yet, though I'm trying to, since I know it is kinda impossible between us already.

Hmm, i see i see.. after hearing u guys opinion here i feel more relieved