No, I do not intend to patch back with her. Over is over. I'll stick with my decisions.

BOLDED: You are half right, maybe it is my mistake of buying her a gift in the first place. My real intention is to just buying her a gift as a souvenier as in for a FRIEND. No other ulterior motives. About the acknowledgment thingy, I kind of agreed with you. Learnt something new today. Come to think about it, it's quite logical.

I think I know what I should do now. Thanks for the advice.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 14 2009, 01:38 PM

Agreed. I rethink again and I came to realize that when you have no doubts about yourself and being honest, no matter what people says, there isn't a single thing you should be worried and feel doubtful about the situations that may arise.

Reading your post made me realize something: We sometimes make self-pity remarks and at the same time tries to masquerade selfish thoughts without even realizing it until someone else sees it and tell you. Strange, but true. Human thinking sure is funny.

Thanks. I have a clearer view of the situation now.

But, but, but... If I didn't made the post in this first place, you won't even tell me all these things right? WAKAKAKAKAKA!

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 14 2009, 07:18 PM

One word: Congrats.

UPDATE: I just met my ex with her new BF, and thank Goodness, everything turns out pretty well like your situation. She likes the gift and her BF didn't say much. She noticed that I changed a lot too and said that I looked at Life differently 2 years after we broke up.

Something strange happened today. The weather was sunny and the moment when I met them, it rained. But what I knew for sure, the very difference that happened this time, is after it rained, I see sunshine. I think and I BELIEVE it could mean to me this time that a new and happy beginning of the next chapter in my life is about to happen.

All I can say, I'm feeling happy and good today, and looking forward to move on with Life and enjoy it to the fullest as the year 2010 comes.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 18 2009, 04:24 PM

Yes. Laugh like there's no tomorrow, and you will feel much better.



This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 19 2009, 06:35 PM

I really admire your character now Winnie.

I'm glad everyone is happy and what a happy ending!

Time to move on to season 2 with a lot of happiness ahead!

I want to take this opportunity to wish everyone a Merry Christmas and a Great New Year 2010!!!!

That's what I'll do when I am getting into a new relationship.

We learn from mistakes.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 24 2009, 06:06 PM

Being in a relationship is not easy. It is no fairy tale.

It takes a lot of time and patience to learn about your partner and not everyone is born equal, not to mention searching for the other half is part of the journey of your life. Every new relationship means a new chapter of a life-long learning process.

About compromising your new GF, it depends on how she is willing to accept my principles. Most important is to be honest with yourself. It's better for her to understand your real character than to lie to her forever, and besides, having principals in Life is a good thing too.

To me, I want someone who loves me for who I am. This is just me.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 24 2009, 06:35 PM

If it's too severe and extremely unacceptable, Yes. I will compromise. Any particular reasons you are asking this?

A relationship is a two-persons' world. It takes two to tango. If one start to have conflict with another, everything will start to fall apart.



This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 24 2009, 06:48 PM

it's a big YES.

Now, to look at it from a different perspective, if you DON'T COMPROMISE and let her take control of the relationship and your life, how would it turn up?

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 24 2009, 06:53 PM

Whoa whoa whoa... hold on a minute, I think there is a misunderstanding here.

What I'm trying to say is, I won't let her take control of everything but rather to have balance in the relationship.

I'm Sorry if I got you wrong and the replies go ding-dong. I think my English epicly failed this time

It's OK to compromise sometimes, but to a certain extent. You still need to spend time with your GF to nurture the Love, and make her feel special emotionally and spiritually.

Sometimes, if she is taking it for granted too many times, she will soon forget the meaning of the relationship itself, and as time goes by, Love can slowly fade away. Worst still, she will just ended up dumping you.

Love is something pure and beautiful. There are many ways to show Love to your partner and to compromise is just one of them.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 24 2009, 07:24 PM

Yeah.

+1. Agreed. Besides, it's very unfair to the one who is on the giving side. In the end of the day, what's the meaning of the relationship, if it continues to be like that?

The word COMPROMISE is not enough. Top it up with the word RESPECT. Why? Because everyone of us have values in Life, and one MUST respect each other's values.

Anyways, Merry Christmas and a Happy new year.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 24 2009, 07:29 PM

I think my views has been answered by a few members here, so probably I'm just repeating the points.

Have a great Christmas, debbieyss.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 25 2009, 03:36 AM

I have and got to be honest with her if her demands were too extreme. Let's just face it. You treated your GF very very good and are willing to compromise for her. What if,
one day, you have fallen sick or you need someone very badly by your side to support your broken down emotions, and your GF will turn to you and say "I'm feeling bad too.. why don't you come and sayang me instead?"



I was skimming through the word "Compromise" in UrbanDictionary.com and this is what they define:

is when both parties plan to cooperate so they both can be satisfied and have their separate needs met

E.g Usage: In order for a marriage to work you have to compromise.

This is in-line with what n00b13 mentioned about the right way couples should compromise. It's not a one-man job.

The amount of compromise that one is willing to give also shows how matured the person is when dealing with any situations in the particular relationship. It shows how you think about the consequences and how you care about people's feelings before making any decisions.

Unfortunately, debbie, what I'm saying here is still something general and what I'll roughly do. I couldn't give you a definite answer, because in the end of the day, it boils down to the type of girl you are meeting and the way of communication is totally different from one girl to another.

Just my 2cents point of view. Wouldn't mind getting flamed. I'm learning something new every day.

This post has been edited by geekster129: Dec 25 2009, 03:57 AM

Hi toccatina, I understand how your mind is flashing back and thinking about all the sweet moments in the past. I know it's not easy to keep your mind focused when the wound is still fresh, but doesn't mean it cannot be done.



I don't know if this works for you, but this is what I did between the breakup period until I finally managed to let go and move on:

1. Distract yourself by doing things that you like;
2. Enjoy being single and be proud of it;
3. Enlarge your circle of friends and find those who share the same interests as you;
4. Find someone to talk to and someone who listens to you whenever the "flashback" occurs again.

At this period, friends and family support is very important. Like in point 4, it's better if you voice it out rather than keeping inside your heart and weep. It will take some time to work, but you are going to feel really darn good after that.

I think reading the posts wouldn't be quite sufficient. Why don't you try to participate in this thread and have a discussion with the members here and as we move on, we can give you advice.

I wish you all the best in everything and hope that you are happy always.