After I announced I was single again in Sept 2024, about ten men pursued me in the months that followed. And this was without even touching dating apps.

What puzzled me, though, was that 4 of them were younger than me. Like… why?  I was 35 then. I’ve always liked older men, so dating younger guys felt unfamiliar and a bit baffling.

Being myself, I made it difficult for those younger men—partly because I wasn’t confident in dating younger men, and partly because I was still healing from my breakup and emotionally tangled with the analyst guy back then.

I remembered a guy friend who once told me in 2023 that he didn’t like “xiao mei mei” (girls younger than him). He preferred older women and always pursued them. In fact, he married a woman four years his senior; she was 39 and he was 35.

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Last month, out of curiosity, I asked some younger male friends, and they said they didn’t mind dating women 1–5 years older. They like the stability, care, and guidance that older women bring. It makes them feel safe, nurtured, and able to manja a little. Financially, older women tend to be more stable. The relationship works more like a balanced partnership, rather than the usual older-bf-younger-gf dynamic—which often comes with more drama and burden. To them, slightly older women are like “jie jie” (elder sister) they can trust and confide in.

They also said women in their twenties can feel needy, insecure, and high-maintenance with “princess syndrome”. Younger women are fun for sex, but draining for a relationship. Women in their thirties, on the other hand, are stable, mature, loyal, and serious.

Interesting perspective, right? Many unmarried women in their thirties are judged harshly as 剩女 (leftovers), but younger men apparently don’t see them this way. 

I’m sharing this to hear more input; just trying to understand what younger men think and whether I should open myself to that possibility.... and maybe also give some hope to other older women.