Your current thinking seems framed only from your own angle. That is exactly the line that separates the immature from the mature.

Let me be the “bad guy” and put some hard questions in front of you: At 40, you say you wish to marry and have children. To raise them until they graduate takes at least 23–24 years. By then, you’ll already be 63 or 64. From the children’s point of view — just as they are ready to experience life for themselves, they may already need to carry the weight of looking after you in old age. If money is not the issue, have you considered that time is the real issue?

If this is the starting point for them, what kind of freedom have you really given? Is it a blessing, or simply a burden passed down? When they go looking for their own partner, will they carry joy, or will they carry the hidden burdens of your choices?

You call your job and finances stable. But stability is never a permanent state. Retrenchment, illness, early retirement… many people face these before even reaching their 50s. What makes you think you’re exempted?

And if you marry someone in her 20s or 30s, don’t forget: when you retire, the main responsibility of raising children will fall on her. Does she truly understand what that means, or will she only discover it when the road is already too steep to turn back? One already retired, the other still working — it’s a mismatch of life phases. These are not comfortable questions. They are reminders that choices today don’t just affect you — they echo 20–30 years ahead, shaping the lives of the next generation.

At the end of the day, if you still decide based only on your own angle, ignoring what your future wife or children may face, that’s also a choice. But remember this: every choice becomes either a warning for others to avoid, or a story for others to follow.

Positive so far—it’s just a matter of translating the thought into action.

One more possible hidden setback from the girl’s point of view: if you are already in your 40s, it’s very likely that her parents-in-law will already be quite old. After marriage, the responsibility of caring for them may immediately fall on the wife. This could feel like a contradiction to the very point of not “burdening” a younger partner.

This is a question I think many couples may never have the chance to discuss. Come, let’s see—what is your philosophy in addressing it?

Yes, your parent. Every answer is a valid answer—even no answer is still an answer.

The earlier highlights mainly outlined the disadvantages of marrying late and having a large age gap. I believe that for informed decision-making, both the pros and cons must be made known.

That said, having a different opinion does not mean being totally against the idea. Each of us walks a different path. Pointing out the “sinkholes” ahead does not mean the listener must take a detour or that the road cannot be crossed. What the present or past generation could not achieve does not mean the future generation cannot. They may “jump” over, “fly” over, or “float” over the sinkhole.

The most important thing is this: once the potential risks are made known, if we choose that path, we must be accountable for whatever outcome comes our way. The true misery in life lies in making choices without considering the consequences—and in refusing to accept the outcome, even when we knew clearly where that choice would lead.

So, I sincerely wish you the best.