Does phycologist really helps?
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 Sep 22 2025, 03:41 PM
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#1
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Senior Member
2,834 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: here  
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First and foremost guys.... whats the age of your wives? For women in their 40s , perimenopause might have started , causing changed behaviour/mood swings and apathy /lack of empathy towards loved ones , especially husbands. Its a natural ageing process with screwed up hormones. At the husbands side , try to apply more patience , empathy and calm in this challenging times. This post has been edited by alanyuppie: Sep 22 2025, 03:44 PM farisq liked this post
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Sep 22 2025, 04:02 PM
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#2
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Senior Member
2,834 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: here
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QUOTE(*lightbringer* @ Sep 22 2025, 10:49 AM) He is quite wealthy tbh. He owned his own company, earning close to 15mil per year (company earning lah, not him personally). His house also quite big and spacious, they even have their own reading room. So money is not an issue for him. His kids goes to Alice Smith, and if u know anything about private school, u will know how expensive is that school. sounds like he made it in life , with wife, kids enjoying the lavish lifestyle and best of education system. There's very little excuse for resentments /arguments to happen between him and wife.  All I can say its probably just hormonal imbalances /health related caused the mood swings. Why not ask the wife to get medical checkup. There's a section in reddit with great insights by perimenopausal women who knew they are having temper problems but can't help it. Some decided to seek medical help and take meds / HRT to stabilize themselves. Sadly, some women thought its a sign they no longer love their husband and simply wanted to leave everything behind. This post has been edited by alanyuppie: Sep 22 2025, 04:03 PM |
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Sep 22 2025, 04:45 PM
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#3
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Senior Member
2,834 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: here
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QUOTE(homicidal85 @ Sep 22 2025, 12:38 PM) my wife and I were great together for 14 years. last year, my son started getting into trouble in school. my wife blames me for his behavior. I refuted it. so we would get into heated arguments every time my son got into trouble. You're damn lucky and I hope all married couples can achieve this! both me and my wife were so concerned about how to raise our son that we fought to do what we each thought was right and this led to us arguing almost daily. when my wife stopped showing me affection the way she used to, it hit me hard. i tried to be nice to her and show affection to her but she did not reciprocate. this made me feel like she no longer loved me and my whole life came crumbling down. thats when i realized that i needed her more than i thought i did. thats when i realized that my adamance to raise my son my way could lead me to lose the woman i built my life with. so I apologised to her sincerely and started to listen to her point of view seriously. lucky for me, she still loved me and she listened to my POV as well. we then started working together on how best to raise our son. in hindsight, the problem probably really was me because she could not overule me while i could overule her. when i didnt take her POV seriously, she felt helpless. when i changed my attitude, and started listening, i realized that yes, she does have a point and I need to take the time to discuss things with her properly to achieve an agreed way forward. the thing is, when i started listening to her, she reciprocated and started listening to me as well. i was surprised at how much she agreed with my POV after many months of arguing. I guess its human nature to disagree with someone you hate but then change your mind completely when you love them. Arguments is inevitable , but finding the root source with both parties willing to put down egos compromise and change is truly a dream come true for all married couples. We're being brainwashed by society to lead as a man/husband , and wife must follow. But a real successful man actually will pick a right partner to build a family , not a follower. this means her opinions should be cherished/taken seriously. Sometimes accepting spouse opinions is not about their ideas are better . In the end of the day, both have valid points with similar pros and cons , to achieve the same thing (for eg. deciding where to have dinner/which kindergarten to send children to). Most important that both side are equally respected without skewing too much to one party . This post has been edited by alanyuppie: Sep 22 2025, 04:47 PM *lightbringer* liked this post
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Sep 23 2025, 10:14 AM
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#4
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Senior Member
2,834 posts Joined: Jul 2006 From: here
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QUOTE(cempedaklife @ Sep 22 2025, 11:58 AM) i dont believe in psychologist. You mean you dont believe in PAYING FOR PROFESSIONAL HELP.mainly because of what you said, it will only work if you believe in it and put in effort to it. in retrospective, if i put in effort in it, there is free resources around, youtube, online articles, etc. the free resources online some are probably produced by psychologists as well ,dangling bits of content, to promote their (paid) services. This post has been edited by alanyuppie: Sep 23 2025, 10:15 AM |
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