Hi people. I hope this question doesn't sounds too weird.

What would be the good reason to get married? I'm looking at my nearest family members, it seems like they're just placing a never ending commitment on themselves.

I don't have anyone to ask this without them being weirded out. They were like, why are you even asking this.

You see, I met this person at work. When I see her, the first thing come to mind is how it would be nice to have this person around my life. I don't get butterflies in my stomach, it's just I think we might be happier together. I have never thought it is necessary to find a soulmate before. I'm quite content being single while most my friends already on their 3rd or 4th kid.

10 years down the road, you will envy them liao and regret

Soul mate 😂.. U see too many drama liao

U like someone, doesn't mean u will be soul mate.
Commitment is what u see, fulfilment is what other see.
Some may say foolishness.
At the end, u do what best to keep u happy - but pls remember, don't pura pura waste your other half waiting for u.
If goals and direction not aligned for both parties, better just stay apart.

For official as our country do not recognise non marriage as legal. You can stay together but not married or you can get married for legal purposes and practice dual income no kids so that your commitment won't increase much.

Marriage is full of responsibilities. Some derive their sense of worth or existence by raising a kid or fostering good values onto them. If you are not ready then it's not ready don't force yourself to get a partner just because someone already had them

If you look at tvb star, moses chan
you could say they've an ideal marriage from the surface

First of all, marriage isn't for everyone and that's okay.

For a lot of people, they are just following the lifescript. It's what everyone around them expects them to do. What they've grown up believing their goal in life will be. They don't really think too much into it. It's just the next step in life. They just find someone, settle, buy house, have kids, etc. cause that's what people are telling them to.

I think what you are feeling is what companionship can provide you. Some people are happy doing things on their own, more freedom and less judgements, especially if the company aren't very pleasant people to be around. But sometimes when you click with someone, it's nice to have this person that you can share memories and experiences with.

Marriage is definitely a commitment and every relationship is hard work. I don't really believe in soulmates. People change, circumstances change, and nothing is guaranteed. So to be committed means you are willing to grow and adapt with your other half. However, as someone else already pointed out, make sure your values and goals are align. Don't go into a relationship expecting them to change.

Most people get married to have kids. Some will say why get married if you don't want kids then? It can be for legal purposes, decision making purposes, financial benefits maybe and other practical/paperwork stuff. Especially in Malaysia, it's more cultural accepted too. It's easier when you guys will be sharing a life together, if that's what you want. However, there are many that just have a long-time partner. They don't necessary live together but do most things together. Some people are more at peace living alone and having their own space, some prefer to live with their partner 24/7. Ultimately, it'll depend on what you want in life and what makes you happy.

You can ask this sort of question about anything right?

Why study?
Why work?
Why watch movie?
Why play games/sports?
Why have sex?
Why eat?

I think the better question you should be asking yourself is; why do you see a never ending commitment as a bad thing

If you can get someone willing to work with you for this life just go ahead.

Current century is very hard.

Human is complicated.

Marriage is heavy responsibility... it's a 2 family matters... not just u and your partner alone.

The good reason to get married is if you plan to have children and/or giving security to your another half.

Otherwise, I dun see any good reason to get married.

Above is only my personal point of view.

The only solid reason is security where children are involved or when either dies.

Either may need to ensure mother or father is legally bound to provide for the child/children. And when death occurs, the surviving spouse has some legal means to challenge a will if nothing goes to the spouse/children. Without a marriage cert, you practically have zero entitlement even if everyone affirms that you are in a relationship with the deceased.

If marriage is not necessary, each better be damn sure to be self sufficient without relying on one another. Have your own career, your own savings, your own investments, your own home, your own car, your own retirement fund.

And don't cry if someone cheats. Not married after all. So you can just leave the cheater.

This post has been edited by McMatt: Jul 7 2025, 11:44 AM

Found someone and that someone shared same feelings.

Make it official by laws and reliigion.

Life is never ending commitment by the way

TS, you asked for reasons to get married. Below are the key advantages — but read them with the right discernment and decision-making. This piece of thought is written by adapting the concept of mergers and acquisitions as a metaphor.


Marriage as a Platform for Purposeful Legacy
Marriage, at its deepest, serves as a platform to raise the next generation with purpose. This perspective begins by recognizing a simple truth: life is finite. No matter how much one builds or accomplishes, all achievements eventually meet the limits of time. In this light, raising and nurturing the next generation becomes a way to carry forward values, stories, and unfinished dreams — a form of continuity that transcends the individual.

Marriage as a Public Bond and Social Shield
Marriage is more than a personal relationship — it has always served a public function. Traditionally, it announced to the wider community that two individuals had become one legal and social unit. This declaration formed a kind of social boundary: “Do not interfere. This bond deserves protection.”
Even today, society often respects this boundary. Inheritance, family legacy, and decision-making authority often follow legal marriage lines, especially in moments of crisis or loss. Marriage provides legal clarity and social respect — both of which matter more in times of uncertainty than in times of celebration.

A Strategic Synergy – When Two Lives Combine
A wise marriage can be likened to a successful merger. When two people with differing skills, emotional strengths, and perspectives come together, they create a more resilient unit. One’s strengths support the other’s weaknesses. Life decisions are no longer made in isolation — wisdom is pooled, burdens are shared.

Where once there was a single network of family, colleagues, and social capital, now there are two — expanded through union. This joining of networks, much like corporate alliances, can open unseen opportunities, social leverage, and support systems. The benefits are quiet, but real.

Some families have been allies since ancient times, and their descendants remain friends or allies even in the modern day.

Financial & Legal Advantages — Stability and Access
Marriage enables shared resources: joint incomes, shared investments, and easier access to credit and property. Financial institutions often favour legally married applicants, allowing for better margins of financing or joint ownership of assets. In some countries, including Malaysia, certain joint property purchases require legal family relationships.

Marriage also provides a buffer against risk. Should one partner lose a job or face illness, the other’s support can carry the household through. This financial interdependence, much like corporate risk-sharing, offers more resilience than solitary life.

Legal recognition matters, too. Married partners often receive tax advantages, spousal benefits, inheritance rights, and emergency access — rights that cohabiting or long-term dating relationships may not guarantee.

Marriage as Operational Efficiency
Marriage often improves day-to-day life management. Like businesses streamlining operations, couples frequently refine their routines: one may handle school logistics, the other household finances. This division of labour, guided by personal strengths rather than rigid roles, increases efficiency, reduces stress, and frees time for what matters.

In decision-making, marriage enables a kind of teamwork uncommon in casual relationships. Shared planning — from child-rearing to retirement — becomes more informed and balanced. One is no longer making major life choices alone.

Emotional Anchor and Psychological Resilience
Marriage provides a consistent emotional anchor. In times of grief or triumph, having a steady companion improves emotional health and stability. Numerous studies associate stable marriages with lower stress levels, better coping mechanisms, and improved long-term well-being.

In addition, responsibility can sharpen purpose. Many married individuals report that their sense of motivation increases — not in spite of responsibility, but because of it. When life is shared, people tend to push harder, adapt faster, and endure longer. Like a business founder who fights harder for a company they’ve built, spouses often go the extra mile for a shared future.

Raising Children – A Different Kind of Growth
Raising children introduces a level of responsibility and transformation few other life experiences offer. In professional settings, underperformers can be replaced. But with children, the commitment is absolute. If a child struggles, solutions are sought — not abandonment. This mindset of persistence, patience, and adaptive problem-solving often carries over into how individuals handle their careers and relationships.

Parenthood also rewires emotional perception. Patience grows. Judgment softens. Many companies recognize this growth, often preferring married individuals for managerial roles, as they’re seen as more emotionally mature, steady, and adaptable.

There’s also a practical truth: children demand intense attention for a limited window. From birth to early adolescence, their need for physical presence is high. But by their teen years, independence grows, and the intensity lessens. The early sacrifices lead to a future of deeper connection and pride — if nurtured wisely.

A Closing Thought — Something Larger Than Self
Marriage is more than love — it’s structure, intention, and legacy. It is a co-founded institution where two lives merge, not just romantically but operationally, financially, emotionally, and generationally. Like a good merger, it takes work — vision, negotiation, compromise, and reinvestment. But when successful, the return isn’t just personal comfort. It’s a legacy.

Not everyone needs to choose this path. But for those who do, the rewards are real — not just in milestones, but in the quiet, steady unfolding of a shared life. Marriage is not a finish line. It’s the start of building something that will carry forward beyond one lifetime.

~

Remember, all these advantages apply only when you marry the right person. The wrong match can turn these strengths into vulnerabilities.

When you do it happily and with whole heart, every thing is good and meaningful to life.

This. Can easily conclude such people who asked such stupid question are the type that wanted their cake and eat it too - that's why their usual defense on not getting married is to prevent their next generation from suffering. Talking as if their life is so full of suffering and their parents were to blame for their selfishness (what???).

And 100% of people with such mindset have no qualms about having sex out out of wedlock because apparently having sex is a need. What kind of stupid logic is that.

Yeap. Why died died want to blame parents on our own life. For me marriage is simple. Its bonding between two person. Kids only care until 16 then need to start part time work to sustain himself. After 18 no longer my problem. Want go univercity?. If good study then will get scholarship otherwise just become kuli

can buy a bigger house together

if alone, cannot buy big house

this is provided if u like to stay in a bigger house

Most likely reason is to have kids. If you dont want kids, less need to get married.

Actually I always feel the need to address the elephant in the room.
Many people use the excuse of "because we love each other" or "it's about time since we dated N years" but do they actually carry weight?

Are people marrying because of love to each other?

Financial stable then can think getting married

Dont get married
Dont get married
Dont get married

If you don't even know why

some people believe in the concept of a soul mate

i can say that this is very rare indeed

as a married man, this is a sincere advise

if you don't want to have kids, don't get married unless you really found your soul mate

after 20 years of marriage, with the pressure of work and other financial issues, many /most people will tell you that you need something to bond your relationship from drifting away and that bond is normally kids

if course some people have pets and annual holidays as a bond but will that be enough

really to all men who don't want kids, don't get married

if you are lonely in your 40s and 50s, look for sugar baby

I feel like getting married, settling down and have kids is such a traditional Asian thing. Not necessarily a bad thing but seeing how things are turning out for some married couples? Getting divrced? Kids being put in positions they don't have control over? Both couples getting mental health issues? Nah. If that's how it's going to be - then may as well just stay single for your own benefit and betterment. MArriage is not for everyone.

As a man in my mid-thirties, marriage today comes with significant trade-offs, especially for men. Financially, the responsibilities tend to weigh more heavily on us — housing loans, car payments, children’s education, insurance, and day-to-day expenses often fall on our shoulders. By the end of the month, there’s usually very little left for ourselves.

In many modern relationships, expectations can feel one-sided — men are still often seen as the primary providers. When financial pressures arise, the burden or blame tends to fall disproportionately on us.

It’s worth asking yourself whether you’re truly ready for that level of responsibility and compromise. The reality is, staying single offers more freedom — the ability to focus on personal growth, financial independence, and enjoying life on your own terms.

At the end of the day, marriage does have its positives — companionship, emotional support, and shared purpose — but it’s important to be honest about the costs as well. For many men, the balance increasingly feels skewed. So think carefully before making that commitment.

Ps: if your salary is less then 10k per month don’t even think about marriage.

Let me correct the stigma. I got married when my salary was barely RM3k. And we're still together 17 years later. It's not marriage that cost you money. If is family, if one chooses to start having children. Of course we're now well over 5 figure, but we have no children as we know then that we do not want the financial burden and the world simply isn't the same. There are so many more dangers lurking around the corner.

Of coz cost of living has gone up. But merely highlighting the cost isn't in marriage itself. It is in the cost of raising children if one starts a family. Because the options comes down to, do you want quality living for your child, or do you want more children with lesser quality of living (unless of course you're financially capable). My message is more for the common average joes with less than RM20k per month take home.

RM3K a month 17 years ago is very different from RM3K today.

money is not everything but unfortunately everything needs money

money can solve almost 95% of most people problem

finding a support and understanding spouse is the key to happiness.

but unfortunately, time changes most people, for better or for worse.

That's why I said at the end, for someone with a household income of under RM20k in today's era, that also requires careful consideration. My friends prioritizes quality education these days, over having more children but reduced opportunities.

Hence, before even getting married, one must know himself or herself if children is a criteria or not, and then ensuring the partner is in the same line of thoughts before popping the question. There are many who proposed only to find out later that they don't align on starting a family. I'm lucky to have found one who doesn't want kids like myself.

I think the main takeaway here is to choose your partner wisely if you intend to get married. Marry someone with the same values and goals as yourself. Children or not, it boils down to if you and your husband/wife have the same values towards money and life. What kind of quality of life is expected? What is acceptable and what does each of you want? If the values and goals align, then 10k or 3k a month doesn't really matter because both of you will work together as a team towards your goals.

Couples these days don't talk about the hard things before tying the knot. Only to find out that they don't align later on. There are many things that are non-negotiable in a relationship and will build resentment, like children and financial values.

Most people don't even have individual goals set, or know their value systems/principles, etc. How to discuss as a couple?

rm3k is like a poor lifestyle as a single man in kl
5k also pity already as parents with a kid only
you never know what kind of thing suddenly requires money
now I understand why most guys cannot find a long term in 2025

Well those people aren’t suitable to be my partners then. They may be suitable for others and I wish them all the best. Some people like to lead and some like to follow. Some prefer to work together as a team. Everyone has their own preference just like anything else.

Im in my 50s single (divorced) and life is usually quite chill.

But earlier this year, caught one of those bad influenza bug. Being alone and sick sucks. Was thinking how nice to be married and having someone at home to help you out.

And as one ages, illness will.become more frequent. Good reason to be married I think.

This post has been edited by Cubalagi: Nov 30 2025, 09:13 AM

Oh, when all is fine, being single is chill. But now look for partner only because you want someone to look after you ... no wonder, in sickness and in health is a game to some.

You want help, hire a maid. You want happiness, hire a hooker. In between, you can continue to chill. No need to get married (again).

I already have a maid who comes once a week to clean house and do laundry.

I also have a GF, but we dont live together. We are in LDR. She will do a sleepover at my place every few weeks or we go for holidays.

So yeah, life is quite chill.

And no hookers, this type of sex is no longer appealing for me.

A lawyer’s warning about modern marriages and the rise of authoritarian wives
A Malaysian lawyer shares eye-opening real cases of modern marriages where men continue providing financially yet live in fear, controlled by authoritarian wives. This GC analysis explores shifting gender dynamics, why traditional frameworks are collapsing, and what today’s men are quietly suffering behind closed doors.

https://gentlemanscodes.com/ask-the-gentlem...oritarian-wives

Getting married just like you bought a car with registration.
Non married you can borrow car rental shops.
Some married without kids , to enjoy a couples.
Some married needs more child’s to produce more future as they wants.
What TS would be the next plan.