To all readers, may take this as just me ranting haha. I'm just overwhelmed with a variety of emotions currently. It's kinda new to me.

Well I think it's more like a one sided thing.
So here's the story
We got to know each other through sort of a dating app.
She's real, and she's beautiful. No catfish no sales nothing.
Just genuine people getting to know people. Or maybe it's just me.

She just broke up with her bf after caught that guy cheating. She shares story with me. Real heavy ones that puts me in a lot of pressure ngl.

She asked me real difficult questions after she's drunk. Multiple times at that. All I could say was I can't answer her right now or some really vague answers. You could say that I didn't grab the opportunity but to me I'm more into honest and determined answers if I would want to be responsible of taking care of her.
One of those questions being could I afford her, of course I said I couldn't and was sad and helpless.

She's a really nice girl, she did apologized for having me taking care of her when she's drunk. I didn't do anything. Just pick her up and drop her back home. Was hoping that I could lend her my shoulders but she doesn't seem to be asking for it and I felt like it's not right to do so at the time.

Anyhow, days gone by, I sent her messages almost every time I get the chance. But like if I asked 2 questions or gave 2 answers. Either one would be ignored or all of them ignored. As if nothing ever happened.
Each time I got ignored I thought that okay, I guess that's the end of our "friendship". But then suddenly a text would pop and the conversation would continue for a few text and then she'd be gone again.

Well thanks to her I'm motivated to make tiktok videos and grow my social media hopefully to the point where I can earn money.
And thanks to her I'm also motivated to write a punk rock song about my feelings.
But unfortunately I'm getting real depressed and sad occasionally on a daily basis when I think about her.

Honestly you could say that I'm just being used, I probably am, I just don't know what I should do next, not knowing if I should continue to pursue her without letting her know my feelings.

I do think that I'm kinda rushing this if I did confess.
I'm probably just insecure cause well she's beautiful, guys would line up to pursue her knowing that she's single now.

But the funny things that she told me when she's drunk, it's like she had feelings for me, told me that we could get married blablabla. I know she's drunk and all. But I do believe that she's pretty sober when she say all those things. Many questions just left unanswered.

The song Jenny by The click five kinda feels like my exact situation especially the first 2 lines.

I had a hunch that if I do confess, I'd probably be rejected. And so I kept quiet. And it's been weeks, my feelings are bottled up and bursting, I'm keeping myself sane by writing letters that I won't send and making music.

I even cook meals for her when she said she's hungry and drove 30 minutes just to send her food. I'm willing and not complaining. Just wanted people to see I'm putting in the effort 😂

I'll stop here for now.

If anyone could advice, here's my question

Should I confess and tell her everything?
I didn't say anything was because she's still sad about her breakup, still misses her ex, technically still in contact with her ex. Her ex still looks for her and all. They kinda argued again when her ex knew me.
Fyi I did NOT wreck their relationship. She Broke up AFTER she found out her ex cheated. Plus I didn't do anything to her. NOTHING AT ALL

Should I just wait for her to look for me?
I'm insecure yes, she can message 10 other guys that has way better profile than I do. I'm afraid that because I kept quiet and did not approach her, she would lose interest in me. But then I don't want to be a simp you know ahhahahaha. I probably am but I'm trying lol.

I'm just confused and my mind is like SpongeBob sorting brain files in his head in fire if you get the reference.

If there are other advices do share to me. I'd be grateful.

Thank you for reading.

I truly thank you all for the advice. Yeah it's kinda obvious that I'm being used. I guess I just need a push from someone or a slap to reality so that I could move on and do my thing.

True that there are plenty of fishes. It's just that it's been so long I've felt like this kind of uhm..love I guess. Or maybe I just had a crush and because I've been single for many years thats why it's hard for me to realise things.

Yeah. I'll try to let go one step at a time. Maybe reject her invitation when the next time she asks me to accompany her to drink or something.
I wrote a confession letter but after thinking and pondering before reaching her home. I tossed the letter away and make a u turn. Probably did the right choice 😅

The feeling of heart break is real 🫠 thank you all 🥹

what you said makes sense too. I might regret not doing anything. I'll think about the letter after I finish the song 🥹

Currently I'm trying to cool down myself from this "broken" feeling. I figured I might be able to think more clearly if I'm not as hot headed.

Thank you very much kind sir 🙏🏻

Yeah, damn it. I should've been smarter about it. Sent a 15 page letter and now I'm starting to regret it😂 well, What's done is done. I'll just need to forget about it and move on. Felt so stupid with the long ass letter😂
Should've just kept quiet and do nothing. Would be much much better

This post has been edited by forlowyat1: Jul 1 2025, 01:01 AM

Yeah. It is indeed 15 pages 😂😂😂 I turned on tiktok live chat with some randoms while writing them from 1am to 6am. I just couldn't sleep that night 😂

Got a song about this coming soon too 🤣 I got so much ideas and inspiration thanks to this.

Told one of my friends, he was shocked and asked me with disbelief, "please tell me you haven't send in the letter" and I'm like oh shit I already did HAHA. Then he told me it's fine, don't think about it anymore with disappointment on his face 🤣

Well a little bit of update. She ghosted me for like 2 days and replied me. Well it's nothing much but it was a closure.
The funny thing was, her ex took my letters and left it in his car. I don't know how or what happened, maybe they had an argument or something then she got a hold of my long ass letter

Well ain't my problem anymore.

Bruh... A7 is too much. Imagine writing 15 full pages of words on A7 when it took me 5 hours for A4....

Oh no I'm not gonna dig my memories on that 15 pages of cringe essays 😂 I'll give a summary or an idea of it.
So it begins with sharing what I feel about our experience together.
Then what I think about her. (Fyi I did not touch a single hair of that lady, proud of myself being able to stay gentleman til the end. But u know as a guy we all wanted to have something if you know what I mean)
After that I asked her questions on what she thought of me.(Not expecting a reply) Just to let it out.
Then proceeds to answer questions I couldn't answer when she was drunk.
Then throughout the letter it's filled with thanks and grateful for the experience.
Last few pages would be ABIT nagging like don't do stuff that affects health. Do this do that. Then told her it's not her fault for any of these since she always apologized to me when we were hanging out. Or should I say when I was babysitting a stranger. Well I admit I'm a simp hah.
Anyways it ended with thanks again and with some farewell gifts. (Some of my home cooked meal and snacks for her pets)
Still simping till the end. God I'm such an idiot.

I won't share the song directly here because I'd like to stay anonymous here 😂 we'll just let fate decide and see if you can stumble upon my song on YouTube/tiktok/Instagram by chance. Hahaha it won't be that good cause my singing sucks and my playing skills are all just average Joe.

Thanks for the salute. It's was like a mountain got lifted up from my shoulders after I sent it. Occasionally my mind goes argh I should've or shouldn't wrote that yadiyada. But still I was relieved. Still both glad and regret at the same time 😂 glad that I'm not that much stressed anymore and regret that I'm such a cringe HAH WHO THE HECK SENDS LETTERS NOWADAYS

Oh my goodness I apologize for that. You've seen through me with just a few comments 😂 I totally flipped the size of paper lol. In my mind as the number is smaller it's smaller and the number is bigger then it's bigger lol. Thank you for the clarification hahahaha.

And wow I did not expect to view it in that perspective. Thank you so much. I'm still learning wow. Thank you so much for your wisdom. Totally agree with what you've said. The more I read the better I feel. This is amazing 🫠 this really gave me a new perspective.

Amen 🙏🏻
Well, probably it's because the culture on dating has changed so much that things are just "easier" for people now. And many took granted of it. Imagine 30-40 years ago how people could connect with each other. Only letters, therefore people in the past appreciate time spend together. I'm not saying now people don't, it's just that many had taken things for granted with such each access with the help of technology 🫠
Originally I wanted to send a long message. But I decided on a letter instead. I forgot the ain reason but yeah, this is the result haha.
And Indeed, a friend and the internet told me the same.
"Sometimes failure is God’s protection, and success is His preparation. Trust the process."
My mind is getting clearer day by day. It could be just what it is.
Thank you so much 🙌🏻

Ramiade! You definitely should write to your girl 😂 I mean why not.


Silver hawk...I totally mistaken the sizes of paper omg. Hahahahaha but oh wow... Only 2 A4 pages 🫠 I guess 15 is really long 😂 I'm not really sure how much she read cause her ex kinda kept it away and who knows how much he read or disposed of. Oh Well It ain't my problem anymore HAHA

Ooooouuuppphhhh
That really hits the nail on the head. Straight up truth and facts. Really applies.
Probably a 50/50 for me. But definitely 100% for the lady as she's just broken up with her ex due to cheating. And I just happened to be there.
I should save this for later 😂
Thank you my man 🙏🏻

Edit: but the trails of wreckage is 100% on both sides lol. Truly such a sad thing to see everyday in nowadays age...

This post has been edited by forlowyat1: Jul 3 2025, 09:52 PM

Yeah that's totally stupid. Like why would you even go on dates if you'd end up using your phones. I've experienced a few that were like that, I quickly finished whatever we were doing and left 😅

Yeah I would agree with ramjade on this one.

This post has been edited by forlowyat1: Jul 4 2025, 04:14 PM

Right...human interactions are so complicated nowadays 🫠

Agreed 💯
Sometimes the gut feeling is just amazing lol.
And yeah I definitely see it clearly now that I'm just being used for a moment. Damn.
Still it's a great experience to me personally. And I'm glad I let it go completely already 😌