closing to 40, not married, dont think i ever can even though i long for it.

career wise, i don't like what i am doing and always have the fear of losing my current job, even though my manager likes what i am delivering. I just trying to live as frugal as possible and save as much as possible for the worst case scenario.

At current age, i am not even middle/senior management, just so frustrated at myself for not having the same thought process of a senior management or deliver a confident and effective speech/directive.

Thinking back, there are TONS of regrets, like "why i didn't study harder for stpm and get into NTU/NUS?" "why i didn't take the job interview for a bank in SG in 2019?", lots of it.

In the end, i just want to live happily without stress of meeting expectation/work which is still long way.