Been together with my gf for at least 9 years, thinking to propose to her next year by going to vacation in Santorini but i overheard her speaking to her friends that she's not ready to get married in within these 2-3 years because she still think she's young.

FYI i'm 29 and shes 26 now.

What will you guys do if you're in my situation? I was planning to propose to her next year but im not sure what to do now. I even bought a new house so that we can move out when it's done (ideally in 2027). I'm currently staying at her parent place for now.

Should i proceed with the plan or just talk to her first?

Staying together? Possible she waiting for better prospects?

1 advise
remember to talk, talk alot, talk your heart out.
make sure the communication is full with value

dont play surprise else later u will be surprise

I highly doubt this is the case..

We stick to each other almost 24/7 and building businesses together. No chance for her to meet anyone else. She did mentioned one time she confirm will get married with me but she just not ready. I really don't know why she still keep thinking she's still a young girl and marriage is still far away

Other than marriage, did you both talk about starting a family? If she’s not into kids, that explains why she is hesitant.

marriage is a commitment. Being gf/bf and marriage is 2 different thing all together. She maybe afraid she will have certain freedom take away, or added responsibility or afraid you piap without condom and have early baby while she's not ready to be a parent. There can be many reasons liek afraid you have more expectation as a wife than a gf. She might also have more expectation on you as a husband. Respect her decision. When she is ready she is all yours. When she is not, you force it won't be good. Don't think so much. You propose 2 year later at 2027 also not late when house is ready.

of course before doing that, ask yourself this question: why do you want to get married? if you have a very solid reason, then go ahead, if not, try again

if I were you, I will subtly drop hints to let her know that we want to commit ourself for the rest of the life. if subtle hints don't work, try obvious hint. of course there are a lot of ways of hinting, it can be in a jovial manner if you don't want to pressure her too much until she distance herself from this

and also it's not about how long you know her, it's how well you know her, a lot of times we might think that we know our significant others for a long time and we know them well enough but that's not always the case, there are a lot of communications and understanding involved

Bro, any you ok please!?

Did you know this is an excellent news for most of male please!? As you can just walk off n get another!

If this is a bad news mean your gf is rich and you are poor! You need her more that she need you!

This post has been edited by w19: Jan 28 2025, 11:33 PM

Women nowadays are kinda different from those days. They see life more than getting married and being bog down by family responsiblities. Hence that is why women delayed their marriage as much as the men do nowadays.

I think you should talk with her about marriage expectation and life after marriage (chat). I think its good for both of you in the long term.

play some trick tell her let's go see engagement ring.. if she follows let her pick one she like and you can afford.. put it on her finger.. seal the deal.

Talk to her & find out what are the elements of the unreadiness. Make sure when you talk, talk the language she can comprehend, not the language you can comprehend and think she can comprehend.

It could be: -

1) Fear of responsibility & being tied down to motherhood and parenting?
2) Fear that with the children, she could be no longer as carefree as now? She may need to give up certain hobbies or outing.
3) Perception that female who married early are usually not living their life to full potential. The peer of the same age not yet married, why she needs to marry now?
4) Fear that your treatment to her will change after the marriage? After marriage, no more coupling stuff as you have achieved your goal. You will change to worse?
5) Fear that after marriage, there will be physical changes to her body which makes her look no longer attractive as now?
6) Fear that she is walking a very traditional & predictable life path, that is the end of her life story?
7) Fear of taking the new role as wife and as daughter-in-law - need to deal with husband's family?

People always say the biggest worry of a woman is marrying the wrong husband.

Agree +100
At least your gf know she isn't ready.

Don't step into marriage just because long run relationship.

Marriage life with kids 90% about 柴米油盐
Marriage life without child is different story

goldernspermboy are you willing to give her another 5 years?

at what age she is ready?
what she wants to do before she gets married?
talk to her get married doesn't mean no freedom, still can go vacation and do a lot of things.
it is getting kids that will take away all the freedom.

I be honest, I've seen a lot of long time relationships break up.

For eg, I've got 2 classmates, they linked up in form 5, college, university, young working days...all of the sudden break up after 6 years.

Many years later, guy married another gal and migrated. And gal married a dentist and settled down in the north.

what's her excuse for waiting?

If TS is the love of her love, marry 22yo, 24yo, 26yo..also no difference.

unless she is thinking there is still hope for better ones.

proceed...take it slow

im with my gf for almost 14 years, she asked me to propose to her and I did planned and do so during our holiday in France. getting married on our 15th years being together

Congrats man

You hit jackpot. Then ask us advise you how to deny winning jackpot.

How to advise you ha? I also not sure.
You stupid or what?

Why you want to marry her? Have kids? Just knock her up lah. No context cannot advise.

Before asking why she don’t want to get married yet. You figure out why you want to marry her. That’s more important.

for todays time, 26 is considered young..early 30s is the new trend to get married

By her 30 yo, she will chase u to marry her instead

U bulu also not fully grown want tok Kok. Kek

Haha dengki ni nampak .....

Ah Yap oh Ah Yap. Small boy.
If u dont know, dont act smart can? kek

Haha dengki ni nampak ...

Yap, grow more hair then talk. Kek.

At 26, is there a possibilities that most of her friends are still not married? If that's the case, it's quite normal.
My wife and I dated 10 years and after 1 by 1 her friend got married then only push for me to go ahead.

At 9 years - still need to propose?
2nd thing, u are staying with her family home - are u ready to get marry? To be honest, if financially u guys are still struggling, better plan ahead.
Once kids come into the picture, it's a whole set of different scenario.

Haha dengki ni nampak ...

Hi TS, you appear to be a good decent young man, which is rare these days.

The key questions are:

1) Why are you currently staying at her parents' place now? Does this mean that you are staying together with her parents under their roof? They are cool with that? How are your relationship with her parents?

2) Why do you want to get married now? Does this have anything to do with staying under the parents' roof? Do you intend to have children and does your GF think the same about kids?

My advice to all men out there, if you don't intend to have kids, don't get married unless you really met your soul mate. Note, I said don't intend to have kids and not can't have kids. Only get married if you intend to have kids, start a new family and generation.

You should use this opportunity to reevaluate your life goals and aspirations and same goes for your partner. Have a good chat with her and if your life goals or BaZi chart does not align, its a good time for both of you to walk away.

You can focus on your career and she still has some good years left to look for another man.

Happy CNY and god speed.

you got to know her when she was 17?