Jan 22 2025, 08:55 PM
QUOTE(Takudan @ Jan 19 2025, 06:53 PM)
Short answer: 50/50 is very tiring for two persons working to live together for life.
Long answer:
IMO, it's all good if the disparity is not used as a weapon against each other. Meaning:
- don't take things for granted. She can pay doesn't mean he should stop pampering her.
- don't play victim. It's not his fault he earns less. Life is a bitch and it's unfair, not everyone will have a good career. Be kind to his circumstances, while he needs to keep working on himself.
- respect and support each other. There will be societal pressure. No matter what anyone says, it's over if one does not respect and support the other. Recognise that not all effort bears the same fruit.
- ultimately, what defines 50/50 is up to the couple themselves and not anyone else's opinion.
I think you're on the right direction to say not everything is 50/50. Just imagine how much you have to do mathematics every time you hang out: parking, fuel, car maintenance, meals, dating activities, gifts to family, gifts to each other, mortgage/rental, utilities, travels..... The list is endless. The thought "I spend so much on you, but you don't spend as much on me" is calculative/selfish, because it doesn't consider how much the other side can/want to spend and shows your entitlement.
As for women accepting men earning less, well if the woman demands the man to pay more than herself, then she shouldn't start such a relationship in the first place lol.
Lol this is such an easily solvable issue - open joint bank account and contribute based on either a fixed amount (for 50/50) or a % of their respective income (not 50/50 in the strictest sense) and then spend it. Why need to do mathematics? Long answer:
IMO, it's all good if the disparity is not used as a weapon against each other. Meaning:
- don't take things for granted. She can pay doesn't mean he should stop pampering her.
- don't play victim. It's not his fault he earns less. Life is a bitch and it's unfair, not everyone will have a good career. Be kind to his circumstances, while he needs to keep working on himself.
- respect and support each other. There will be societal pressure. No matter what anyone says, it's over if one does not respect and support the other. Recognise that not all effort bears the same fruit.
- ultimately, what defines 50/50 is up to the couple themselves and not anyone else's opinion.
I think you're on the right direction to say not everything is 50/50. Just imagine how much you have to do mathematics every time you hang out: parking, fuel, car maintenance, meals, dating activities, gifts to family, gifts to each other, mortgage/rental, utilities, travels..... The list is endless. The thought "I spend so much on you, but you don't spend as much on me" is calculative/selfish, because it doesn't consider how much the other side can/want to spend and shows your entitlement.
As for women accepting men earning less, well if the woman demands the man to pay more than herself, then she shouldn't start such a relationship in the first place lol.
Gifts for each other or for family - not sure why need to be 50/50 seeing as how it should only come from their own pockets. Do people share $ to buy gifts for themselves? This does not make any sense lmao.
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