Hmmm I'm not speaking from experience but I see many families with kids and pets at the same time. Why does it have to be mutually exclusive?

I think you're being a bit too confrontational (?) if you force her to choose you or the dog. Depending on the context, I'd understand a little why she chose the dog over you:
- you backed her to a corner with the difficult question -- she answered in haste and/or out of spite.
- she thinks the dog can't live without her, but you can
- you haven't done much as a husband/lover?
- she's taking you for granted for some time

Try convincing her to have kids with you while keeping the dog. I want to see if she shows her true intentions about (not) having kids. I mean, don't you also want to have it all? Her as your wife, having kids together.... It sounds to me you wouldn't mind "adopting" the dog because your resentment to it now is only because she's using it as a shield to avoid the difficult discussions.

How did you tolerate?

You're hoping/expecting gestures/effort from her, have you ever told her that (and your disappointment when not met)?

Not sure if this stereotype applies to you...:
- Asians typically don't say what they think
- men usually don't show their emotions except anger due to societal norm/upbringing.

Some people don't know how to argue effectively, and personally I only learned that in my 30s. For example, I used to yell with anger, say things I don't mean... I learned that from my parents.
At one point, I learned to suppress the anger and toxic words I don't mean because I knew it was hurting the listener (even I was victim of that myself)...
Now I learn how to "be vulnerable" by sharing my thoughts as-is: I tell them why/how I am hurt/upset, and I try to tell the one I argue with too. It's often very effective to people who care because you're allowing them to understand the real you.



Anyway, maybe in your perspective you're tired feeling everything inside, but as an outsider listening to your stories, it just feels like divorce is too hasty rn. To quote nihility, it sounded like the arguments were all negative.

At worst case, you can bring up divorce -- NOT because you already decided, but say that the thought came up because <everything you said in this thread so far>, and that you still want to fix things with her if possible. Put your anger aside and let your sadness/disappointment out, it's even ok to cry -- I bet a crying man would melt a cold woman

IF by any chance it backfires majestically -- she is repulsed by your breakdown and/or agreeing with the divorce, then perhaps you're right that she was just waiting for you to end things.

Well maybe she's just staying away because your divorce isn't official yet? I agree action speaks louder than words, as long as you be clear you have no intentions to be her "bro", I guess you'll be safe outside the brozone, leaving you a binary result: yes=couple, or no=bye-bye