I personally know 2 people. I believe here are people who face this syndrome.

Friend no.1
He had a 7 year abusive relationship with his girlfriend. His girlfriend always belittle him, that he drove a small car. She always complain his salary low, he not rich, he not gentleman enough, etc etc.

Everytime go out dating he has to carry her handbag. Then drop her off her house, have to open door for her then escort her to door.

She left him for a richer guy,

Then he was so heartbroken, went search for new love. Along the way, many girls liked him because he is hard working, tidy and smart person. But he rejected them, because they weren't same like her: meaning not treat him like carpet mat.

Then he met this one, pretty girl, but very princess, also quite action one. He said she is the one, then married her. Cook for her, clean the house, iron and wash her clothes. No children, because he is too busy taking care of her. HIs friends also scared to mix with him, because of her fiery temper, she don't like him mixing with his friends. So he dedicate 100% of his life to her.

Friend no.2
Met a girl 7 years younger than him. Got married and have 2 some. But the wife suddenly became very smart, took courses and do her own business. She also very good in make up and make herself very pretty. She then slowly outshine him, became successful earn 3x more than him. She divorced him, after 10 yrs marriage took the kids to live with her. Heck she was so successful, she could even do her own business while taking care of the children with hired maid. He didn't even spend a cent.

Then he met another woman with a daughter. Turned out she is a gambler. She spent all his savings. His savings, he had to sell his house in a very good location in klang valley. But you know what? he married her.

But he never lives with her, and everytime he goes visit her, he has to bring back his laundry to wash by himself.

ConclusioN:

Why WHy? Some men do for this kind of relationships??? Is it because of past hurts cause them to want to be a DOOR MAT ???

This post has been edited by hoonanoo: Nov 23 2024, 03:33 PM

Real stories or fake

This is serious kopitiam right?


Edit: Yeah right. Just checking. Please ignore this.

This post has been edited by Sycamore: Nov 23 2024, 03:58 PM

Childhood trauma is normally the reason

People choose what they are familiar with, very likely he was also raised in such a highly critical environment so he associates that as love.

2nd guy is because he has lost his self-esteem. The new wife give him attention so that's all he wants and will sacrifice everything for. Its not right, but many men are like that when they're not confident with themselves and have no options.

Its easy to judge people when you're on the outside, even if we know all these things we could still fall victim to it ourselves; we're not perfect after all.

Because they have been hard-wired to be attracted to hard-to-please bit*ches!

Others nice ladies who like him are not challenging enough.

Perhaps such guys love the sensation of being gaslighted, the feeling of being led around like a clown.

That's why...

Lick dogs

Beta males

女人不坏。男人不爱！

Lack of experience and low self esteem.

Eh...macam yes.

I have a friend and his situation same as your Friend No.1, Very hard to ask him out even for yam cha

Every time ask him out he will say need to ask wife if can go out, so now very less ask him out

For your 2nd friend, some people just need a girl who can listen to his problem and comfort him and these divorce lady might even give him unforgettable s*x experience

This is where he get hook to the girl and spent all his savings for her

Even if you give advise to them, they wont listen to you. what you can do is to be there when your friend calls you out and listen to all their complain

Honestly 1 thing that majority adults out there need to realise that you have A CHOICE in your life.

All of your life decision is in your hand.

Clearly your friends didnt respect their own self.

I've been in an abusive relationship and I choose to walk out.

I'm selfish and I prioritise myself. I'm happier living as a single guy than being in relationship

Who cares about other people opinion. In the end, you are the one that decide your journey of life.

There's a lot of personal things that happened in my life and I decided that relationship/marriage is not for me.

This post has been edited by xpole: Nov 24 2024, 11:00 AM

Most people suffers mental health.

NHMS 2023 survey indicates 49% suffer in mental health.
Even without survey, majority of adults still believes in imaginary man lives in the sky.
Imaginary man has power of destiny and after 2024 years, majority still ask for subsidy.
Explain to the public the reason B40 is growing bcos thats how economic model works,
they will condemn the truth and cling on to their imagination.

Most people behave according to emotion.

Your poor friend cannot afford to take care of a kind lady,
so he opts for one who will tend to him the way he likes.
(or as you call tending to him as abuse).

Probably the same feeling he got from how his parents' treat him.

Capitalism creates inflation, reduce spending power / increase poverty.
Religion takes away time from STEM / TVET to become emotional person.
Education controlled by ruling class, will not offer knowledge to overcome them.
Parents condition their kids to become mini-version of themselves.
Being made poor, emotional, dumb, then does the majority have a choice?

1. people are attracted to the toxic relationship there were in, because that is what they know what love is, the familiar feeling. it's a cycle of abuse unless one realizes it and chooses to break the cycle.

2. guy no. 2, often i think men and society put too much value on money. when men realizes the loses their alpha male position, beta arrives and testosterone level also lowered.
why married a gambler, because duo luo feels better because trying has been too hard for him.

Your friend is BF of Taylor Swift...if yes, apa pun boleh.

Simping culture.

Be a strong man.

Btw, becoming Faplord is not a strong man.

Strong man does not need to Fap. He does get his fix though from real partners. When he gets nothing, he is not anxious or worried, because he knows he is strong. Not a sperm donor or some sex slave. He is confident and does not show weakness to women who comes on to him.

Everything is up to him if he wants to share a moment with the women.

I am that type of guy but I gain no attraction of any woman

Abusive like how? u guys knoe wat is happening behind closed doors huh? usually benefits > “sacrifices”… better dun so kepochi…

I believe, once a person becomes a doormat to toxic relationships, suddenly they face some sort of blackout.

As if they completely blinded.

they think happiness is to satisfy someone else.

I notice they don't look far in life.

The second friend, I really felt sorry for him, so much so, I try to be there for him, but he is very stubborn. His kids have disowned him and he has a lot of fights with his own family n friends.

foreveralone solve this problem

Low self esteem la. That's why it's a abuse cycle.

Some ppl natural born abusive, they raise kids in abusive environment. Then the kids grow up being abuser or the type kena abuse. Hard to get normal kids, because statistically the odds are highly against them. First they share the abusive genes from the abuser, then the submissive genes from the abusive partner. Then from young grow up in such household, their world memang fucked up already. The only way to break such cycle is educations and therapy. "Living in a fog" is a very common phrase said by victim. At least nowadays u got forums like reddit for ppl to discuss relationship issues, most will point out all the obvious red flags which are not so obvious when u are inexperience about it.

It's called trauma bonding...