That is traditional method. Some Indian still follow arranged marriage. U might get ur answer there

If that's the type of men/relationship that you're looking at getting into marriage and then blossoming into romance, its not going to happen.
That type of man isn't really looking for a wife; or more specifically, he's not looking to be a husband. That is an important criteria you should be looking at.
What typically happens is the man and woman do their husband of wifely duties in their social circle, but there's no love/passion. Then either side will end up getting that passion met outside the marriage.

Passion can be reignited, so its typically better that its been there before.

People cheat, get divorced etc. because couples are no longer willing to put the work in. We live in a culture now of instant gratification and selfishness. Its about my needs, my happiness, me, me, me. Yes those things are important, but it should all be in service to a higher goal/purpose.

Ultimately, it boils down to whether the couple wants it to work or not. In your initial example of men who want to get married for pragmatic reasons, the onset is already wrong as they are still seeing things from their individual perspective and not becoming together as a single entity.

Eh are we living in the same planet? I hear the complete opposite when it comes to men's self protection -- they choose to avoid marriage because a divorce would mean their wealth siphoned by their ex spouse, citing Bill Gate's case.
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TS thoughts of marriage is rather naive. If only a life partner can be easily found with just an interview of questionnaire, then divorce lawyers and couple counselling will be out of business 😂
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Common Themes in These Stories:
- Power Dynamics: The male lead often holds financial power, but the contract levels the playing field emotionally.
- Emotional Growth: The initial cold or pragmatic relationship slowly evolves as both characters discover emotional depth in one another.
- Internal Conflict: The tension between contractual obligations and real feelings creates much of the drama in these stories.
- Female Empowerment: While the contract may seem one-sided at first, these stories often depict the female lead gaining strength, independence, and emotional influence.

These plots appeal to the fantasy of love conquering even the most pragmatic or contractual arrangements.

Whether it's better to marry for romance or for pragmatic reasons really depends on the individuals and what they prioritize in a relationship. Both approaches have their merits, and the ideal marriage often involves a balance of both love and practicality. Here’s a breakdown of both perspectives:

1. Marrying for Romance
  Pros:
  - Emotional Fulfillment: Marriages based on love often start with a strong emotional connection, passion, and mutual attraction, which can create a deep sense of joy and fulfillment.
  - Support in Hard Times: A strong romantic bond can help couples endure tough times because they feel emotionally invested in each other.
  - Personal Happiness: When people marry for love, they often feel more personally satisfied and fulfilled because their emotional needs are met.

  Cons:
  - Love Can Fade: Some relationships that start with intense romance can fizzle out if the emotional connection is not supported by shared values or long-term compatibility.
  - Overlooking Practical Issues: Love can sometimes blind couples to practical realities like financial stability, life goals, or personal habits, which can create stress later.
 
2. Marrying for Pragmatic Reasons
  Pros:
  - Stability and Security: Marrying for practical reasons like shared values, financial stability, or family goals can create a solid foundation for a stable, long-term relationship.
  - Growth of Love: In many pragmatic marriages, love and affection develop over time as the couple builds a life together and grows to appreciate each other’s strengths.
  - Alignment on Life Goals: Pragmatic marriages are often based on mutual goals, like raising children or achieving financial success, which can foster a sense of partnership.

  Cons:
  - Lack of Passion: If a marriage starts without strong emotional or romantic feelings, some couples may struggle to find that emotional connection, leading to feelings of emptiness or dissatisfaction.
  - Potential for Resentment: If one or both partners feel they were pressured into the marriage for practical reasons, resentment can build over time.

Which is Better?
  - For Love: If you deeply value emotional connection, personal happiness, and romantic affection, marrying for love may feel more fulfilling. However, it's important to ensure that the relationship also has practical elements like compatibility and shared goals.
  - For Practical Reasons: If you prioritize stability, security, and shared life goals, a pragmatic marriage might work better for you. In this case, it’s important to nurture emotional intimacy over time, even if it wasn’t the foundation of the relationship.

In real life, many successful marriages combine both: love and romance alongside practical considerations like shared values, financial stability, and compatibility. The most successful partnerships often involve a combination of both emotional and practical elements, as both are essential for long-term happiness.

Neutral: It can works and it can fails at the same time.
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Changes already taken place , the current modern society already enjoys so much freedom to dictate their own fate including their life partner. Going against the society's self correcting action seem to be against the "flow" in my opinion.

China proposes law to make it easier to register marriages, harder to divorce

HONG KONG, Aug 15 (Reuters) - China has put together a revised draft law that will make it simpler for couples to register their marriage, while filing for divorce will become tougher, a move that drew scorn from netizens and became a top trending online topic on Thursday.

The draft, aimed at building a "family friendly society", was released by China's Ministry of Civil Affairs this week for public feedback. People are able to submit comments to the ministry until Sept 11, it said.

It comes as policymakers struggle to encourage young couples to get married and have children after the country's population fell for years.

The proposed law removes regional restrictions for marriage seen in the previous law where marriages had to be handled at the household registration location of the couple.
Divorces will be subject to a 30-day cooling off period during which, if either party is unwilling to divorce, they may withdraw the application, terminating the divorce registration process, the draft said.

"It's easy to get married, but hard to divorce, What a stupid rule," wrote a netizen on Chinese social media platform Weibo (9898.HK), opens new tab, attracting tens of thousands of likes.

The regulation aims to "promote the importance of marriage and family," reduce impulsive divorces, uphold social stability, and better protect legitimate rights of the parties involved, Jiang Quanbao, a professor at the Institute for Population and Development Studies at Xi'an Jiaotong University, told the state-backed Global Times.

It doesn’t matter male or female. To have this type of marriage to exist, both male and female also have to agree / have the same mentality right? Can’t use one hand to clap.

I never said it was wrong. It’s more of not agreeing to this type of marriage due to likely to be a failure, hence the gachapon metaphor. Need to pay before knowing what you get, it’s either a good or bad outcome.

Regardless, 1 month, 2 months, 9 months… you can’t possibly know a person WELL with such a short amount of time. Unless the person is already a friend/colleague/mutual you known for some time (x amount of years). Then it’s different story. And if the person have only marriage on their mind, they could mask it during the short period.

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Basically, he's looking at the woman to check certain boxes in his life, but he's not really thinking about how he would contribute to hers (beyond the surface expectations) and how both life vision fits together. He's not thinking that one day he might to clean her puke/shit if she's really ill, and be by her side. He would think its a waste of time and its good enough if he puts her in a good hospital with 24/7 support.

Some women are fine with that sort of lifestyle, and they end up getting their other needs met outside the marriage. I don't think that's the sort of relationship you're looking for.

If not arranged by family, then how is the selection process?

Ask friends..hey u want to marry me?

The whole cry in ferarri than laugh on a bicycle mentality

Yes, though its often not an honest open-marriage. The woman typically understands that the male will f`k around, but the woman will not be allowed to do the same. So if the woman plays, its in secret.
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From ChatGPT:

Marriage of Convenience and Pragmatic Marriage both refer to unions that are based on practical considerations rather than romantic love, but they have some distinctions:

Marriage of Convenience
- Definition: This type of marriage is typically entered into for specific, often external reasons, such as financial security, legal benefits, or social status. The partners may not have a romantic connection but find it beneficial to marry.
- Characteristics:
  - External Benefits: Often motivated by practical needs, like immigration status, inheritance rights, or social standing.
  - Limited Emotional Connection: There may be little to no emotional intimacy or romantic affection between the partners.
  - Transactional Nature: The focus is more on the advantages that come from the marriage rather than the relationship itself.

Pragmatic Marriage
- Definition: A pragmatic marriage is based on practical considerations but can include a more balanced view of companionship and shared life goals. This type of marriage may involve some degree of emotional connection, even if it is not driven by intense passion.
- Characteristics:
  - Mutual Goals: Partners may marry to achieve common objectives, such as raising a family, improving financial stability, or pursuing shared interests.
  - Potential for Affection: While romance may not be the primary focus, there can be a degree of emotional intimacy and companionship.
  - Long-Term Stability: This type of marriage often emphasizes building a stable and lasting partnership, with both parties investing in the relationship over time.

Of course there’s no guarantees in life. Same as those who had 10 years relationship might not enter into marriage.

But at least knowing a person can eliminate unnecessary arguments, misunderstandings and culture shock. I once know a girl who got married to a guy within few months (if not for covid it would be faster). She is the one that you described, marry first, love later. The first year of her marriage she received culture shock as her husband is not willing to do some of her hobbies/interest like Zumba and tufting. He however does cafe hop with her. She went all upset learning that her husband is not willing to do certain things, to the point that ad hoc went back to her mom’s house. After that she slowly learn that she actually can HAVE A LIFE apart from marriage, like getting friends from Zumba class etc. But yeah, if she learnt that before marriage maybe it won’t escalate until such a big drama.

Relying chatGPT a lot lately?
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Open marriage is certainly something you can discuss before marriage, but that kind of defeats the purpose of marriage right? generally most men will be against it as well.

Why not? Human is live 人是生动的
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Shame ChatGPT didn't introduce you that... I think you're looking for this kind of arrangement?
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At the end of the day, no matter it's arranged/pragmatic/contractual/transactional/romantic/whatchamacallit marriage, it takes two committed reasonable adults to make it work.

At the macro level of the discussion of this thread (disregarding the topic & emotion), there is a branch of thinking which deploys the similar method of thinking displayed by TS.

It is known as "Quantum Thinking". I'm not certain if TS is doing it with the full awareness of such technique or it is by accident.
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Sounds like a desperate move.

But it is possible to get hitched like that if one lowers standards.