If your brotherhood is real and deep no one would see you as weak. However many men don't have that real bond of brotherhood, even though they would be like "I got your back bro!". When the real time comes, many fail the test. Then the man learns to never be that vulnerable again, and handle everything on his own.

So is it understandable that they withdraw and keep to themselves? Yes.

Is that the right thing to do? No.

Part of bravery and courage is accepting that you will be hurt. The only way out, is to have faith eventually you'll meet the real bros.

I myself can only count on one hand the amount of people I would really rely on. Most fortunately, not all of them are men.

That said, communication is also important, as miscommunication happens even with the best of intents. So share this with people you know, its a good code.



Safe harbour

Men at that level, are in combat mode all the time outside. When they come back, they don't want another battle. They want a safe space where they can relax. So the woman has to create that safe environment for him.

He should have tested this earlier in the relationship, then he probably wouldn't be so scared to do it now.

The problem is, he has no idea how you will take it if he does open up and show vulnerability. Even you, do not know. I've personally seen women get the ick when the man opens up. She didn't even expect it, she thought she could be supportive, but she couldn't. Dynamic of the relationship changes after that.


Mommy will always be a safe haven


Maturity and security plays a big part in this.

The more secure the group, the more likely they wont have an issue with members breaking down. Its the insecure group that will feel like they can't carry the burden of a member being down, so gets rid of them.

This is also why many male groups have a "ragging" process for new members.

Well, its not literally the top 10% la, there are layers to this. What it means is that women will normally only look at the top of whatever group they are in. Even your husband is likely at the top of whatever he is doing or amongst his peers. Not necessarily from a salary perspective, but respect and status from his peers.

There are likely so many other men in that same range, that were totally invisible to you

Sugar dating is differentiated from dating, you know why right? Cause you're not really dating. You're paying for a service.

Its an illusion. Its temporary.

When you date a sugar baby, there's no progression, it will eventually end. Whatever you've done with her, doesn't really help you grow as a person in a relationship. You're not learning how to be empathetic, you're not learning how to be supportive, you're not learning how to compromise, you're not learning how to put your ego aside, etc. etc. etc.

The skills don't transfer over to actual dating and long term relationships, so you end up stuck in the cycle of paying for services to give you short term pleasure.

This is what I've been trying to tell some of the men here, mystery being one of them

Its 2 different games, what they're doing is practising football to get better at badminton.




DIY can only help a certain amount, after that the need for sex becomes a requirement for mental and emotional health. Every guy is different, and being men we can ignore/repress its effects. However it will still manifest in many different ways.


You sure he not ghey ah? His story sounds kinda BS la, especially if he no experience.

Those people just classless la

I'm actually hinting more towards mental/emotional health. Burn out, depression, panic attacks, etc. The stronger the man, the more he'll shrug it off, but its still there bothering him and sapping his willpower.

I wish the best for you

Porn addiction is a thing, and its making many men not be able to perform with a real woman.

I've heard stories from both sides of it happening. Some of the academic research is also pointing it out. One story someone shared was her partner could not get hard if it was not a recording of her. Do in person, soft/flaccid. Send a video, then hard. Can you imagine how she felt? Needless to say that relationship didn't last long.