Thanks for sharing your perspective.

Personally, I think normal dating and sugar dating fullfil two different sets of needs and goals.

With normal dating (between mature men and women), there are deeper emotions involved with medium-to long-term relationship goals, social connections and mutual growth. It is a romantic partnership that can last for years to a lifetime. However, it also comes with lots of commitment and own sets of challenges.

Sugar dating is more to fulfilling physical needs and some emotional needs, using money. As long as a man has money, he can get as many sugar babies as he wants. Some are happy with the choices they get, while some feel the void deep down.

As to which dating mode to choose, it depends on what men are seeking in their body, heart and mind.

Ultimately, we humans always want to choose the path that makes us feel the most fulfilled, depending on which stage we are in life.

I'm confused by your terminologies. Matchmaking and sugar dating are different.

Matchmaking: The goal of matchmaking is to help individuals find a long-term romantic partner, often with the intention of building a committed relationship, such as marriage or a serious partnership. Matchmaking focuses on compatibility in terms of values, goals, and lifestyle, and it is typically aimed at fostering a deep emotional connection.

Sugar Dating: Sugar dating involves a more transactional relationship where one party (the "sugar baby") receives financial support, gifts, or other material benefits from the other party (the "sugar daddy" or "sugar mama"). While emotional or romantic connections can develop, the primary goal is often the exchange of companionship or intimacy for financial support, rather than a long-term commitment or emotional bond.

So, which are you referring to?

Ah, then you're using the platform for matchmaking purpose. It's not sugar-dating if you're looking for genuine relationship and emotional connection.

Your question makes me recall the conversations I previously had with several male friends. They used dating apps to flirt with and meet hot and sexy girls, and also paid for sex... and they told me about their lustful adventures. LOL.

Feeling amused, I listened to their stories of meeting different girls via apps or social media, what they did with those college girls or China/Viet/Thai girls or local prostitutes, how much they paid, what services they chose, how they felt, etc. (Yeah, I'm a good listener and open-minded  ).

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As a woman/friend, I don't think I am in a position to tell men what to do, because they know what they are doing.

& Even if I tell them not to do it, they will still do it.

My only concern for them is... what they want versus what they do highly contradict each other. There is a strong dissonance.

What they want: a girlfriend who loves them, supports them, encourages them... then become wife and have family together...

What they do: play with hot chicks and pay for sex

Reason for doing so: Need some women to temporarily fill the void, settle their biological urges, and get rid of boredom and loneliness with some fun while waiting for the right woman to appear.

I think this is a common dilemma among men. Young men, especially, with raging hormones in their body and make them crave for women and sxx.

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Here's my simplified conversation with a male friend in April 2024. He used dating apps, Telegram, paid for sex and did lots of bad bad naughty naughty stuff...



Years ago, my ex-fiancé was upfront with me about how he used to tackle girls of different nationalities in his younger days. He came to 3 conclusions:

1) Girls who are too easy to get aren't attractive at all, no matter how good looking. He only pursued women who were virgins or had one ex-bf at most.

2) He never paid for sex because he felt it was disgusting to share the same woman with different men. Yeah, the prostitute looked pretty and sexy and got him aroused, but when it was time to do the actual act, his lil head refused and softened. Just yucks, he said. He couldn't do it. He didn't understand why other men could do it.

3) Sex without love is just so empty. Sex with love is the best sex ever.



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Last month, my new guy shared with me that he never paid for sex. He was highly self-disciplined and DIY only because he didn't wanna get STD or HIV. & if we are to have sxx, I need to get tested first.

Me: Okay... If we reach that stage of intimacy, yeah, I will get myself tested to give you the full assurance... (then he felt happy).

He told me that even when he was offered free sex, with women inviting him over and stripping themselves naked to seduce him, he said he touched la out of curiosity, but he wasn't aroused sexually. He just felt they were so cheapskate, and it was such a huge turn-off. He rejected their advances and went home. He didn't even take off his clothes.

This testifies the Chinese saying... 好男人不用管，坏男人管不了 
(meaning: good men don't need to be controlled, while bad men cannot be controlled.)

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There's a reason these guys whom I date are in the Top 10%: they don't let their lil heads control them and sabotage themselves. Yeah, they play and flirt la, but they won't degrade themselves and their bodies with all sorts of crappy women. They have standards and criteria as to who they allow them into their world, and who can have access to their bodies. Not every woman can sleep with them.

Such good men are so rare nowadays... but they do exist. Most people don't know because... these men won't share much info about themselves with other men, and they also won't share much with just any women.



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So, for you (and other guys out there reading this), you decide which type of men you want to be and what type of women you want to let into your world.

You either value yourself, or you don't-- and with each choice comes its own pros and cons, short-term and long-term consequences.

This is what I've been trying to tell some of the men here, mystery being one of them

Its 2 different games, what they're doing is practising football to get better at badminton.


DIY can only help a certain amount, after that the need for sex becomes a requirement for mental and emotional health. Every guy is different, and being men we can ignore/repress its effects. However it will still manifest in many different ways.
You sure he not ghey ah? His story sounds kinda BS la, especially if he no experience.