Wah thanks for the tag lol

Hi TS,
As your initial emergency response, don't bother trying to find out on your own where did you do wrong. Instead, assure her with words and back up with actions: you'll let her cool down for a day and enjoy her me-time at the Airbnb, meanwhile you show your care by sending her meals at the Airbnb. Next day you call to ask show up at her door then have a calm and slow talk. If you want to save the money and stop her from going to Airbnb then give her space, time and love at home.

Key points:
- don't aggravate fight/flight/freeze response. When conflict escalates, people tend to resort to 3F, which is reflected as being defensive or avoidant. You can't solve a problem if you don't understand, and you can't understand if she won't talk.
- she feels unloved so the last thing you want to do is reaffirm that thought, so shower her with extra care when she needs it (while cooling down at the Airbnb).
- give yourselves time limit for the cooldown to align expectations -- no one should feel like the other is avoiding forever, but you want enough time and space to sort your thoughts.

Once you're in talking mood, you can try to understand more from her. I can imagine a few scenarios:
A) "too kind"?
She must've seen something you did that she felt was overboard. Maybe you were "too kind" at one point, while in your head, you're just trying to be the nice host.

B) language barrier?
Can she speak Chinese? If not, then it's not nice to talk in Chinese as she would be left out in the conversation. I also struggle with this as my bf is banana while I'm already used to Cantonese with my family. I try to translate at the end of every paragraph so he agak2 gets the context. That said, your wife may have stronger desire to mingle so she may have felt bad being left out at that time. Your laughters with your SIL without context to her could've sparked the jealousy.

C) other historical problems?
You'll have to hear more stories from her to find out... Maybe her relationship with her brother isn't so well, or she had some beef with her SIL in the past, she has negative bias towards her.

Btw, women tend to connect things more than men, so man may think that one problem isn't related to another but say that to a woman, she'll be upset you're trying to dismiss that part of the problem. She may also get to that conclusion if you happen to accidentally ignore her when talking to others.

as i read your reply on the another thread, seems you over pampered your wife to be housewife but.... do nothing? you didn't mention whether you have kiddos or not but I believe she have plenty of time to do house work.

  2ndly, the one who should jealous should be your bil 1st, not your wife

  if i were you, if she need 2 days some peace of mind in air bnb, i wont bother to pujuk her back. that's part of your wife's family, if like this also wanna jealous, better your wife bring them out than you lo, the most you become driver and sip your cola

  anyway, sorry to say, you married your wife despite knowing she is being a princess, no one can help you on this except you coz we don't know what she likes and dislikes. good luck bro

  but if you need an ear... we are all ears for you

divorce is a big matter to decide... not just hey lets divorce then be single again. you have to consider the time you need to spend to go counseling, to the court, you have to fight for Alimony and your property(ies). or you have to stay separate for 2 years (with prove) before filing divorce and whatever procedures you need to go thru.

  sorry to say, in a relationship, nice to say we are helping and supporting each other, not nice to say, we are taking advantage of each other. from what i read, she have taken lots of advantage being a housewife without doing anything and you financially support her. Have to work have to do chores, luckily no children yet, else you will be a dead man in 3 - 5 years.  to be fair, we still have to listen her side of story.

  talk is easy, but execution is always the most difficult. there are times you need to follow up and encouragement to ensure changes is make. nothing is easy, seriously. We still need to compromise here and there to make changes. If you still cherish her, then make a change for both of you, probably a small step at a time.

  you can try talk to redracer2004 since he have his share of experience.

this is one of the best article I have come across for Relationship Advise for Married Couples

1. BE TOGETHER FOR THE RIGHT REASONS
2. HAVE REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS AND ROMANCE
3. THE MOST IMPORTANT FACTOR IN A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT COMMUNICATION, BUT RESPECT
4. TALK OPENLY ABOUT EVERYTHING, ESPECIALLY THE STUFF THAT HURTS
5. A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP MEANS TWO HEALTHY INDIVIDUALS
6. GIVE EACH OTHER SPACE
7. YOU AND YOUR PARTNER WILL GROW AND CHANGE IN UNEXPECTED WAYS—EMBRACE IT
8. GET GOOD AT FIGHTING
9. GET GOOD AT FORGIVENESS
10. THE LITTLE THINGS ADD UP TO BIG THINGS
11. BE PRACTICAL, AND CREATE RELATIONSHIP RULES
12. LEARN TO RIDE THE WAVES

details: https://markmanson.net/relationship-advice

relationship is mutual effort, a lot of times we will play blame game instead of look within