Knew a girl through OkCupid. At first everything was going super smooth. We used to flirt around and chat everyday and we did called each other every night before sleep. Almost every day we will send goodnight and goodmorning messages and sometimes she even felt super worried for me if i did not get enough sleep the day before since we chatted till late night through the phone.

Have went through a total of 5 dates within a timespan of 2 months. Bought her gifts, went shopping together and during valentines day, invited her out for lunch and brought her a box of chocolate as well. She was very thankful and shows how much she appreciated me. Things suddenly went downhill soon after. Started noticing her getting very passive, her messages takes longer time to reply and conversation feels very dry. Sometimes she will just reply me a single sentence message that's all.

I knew something was wrong already but i still brush it off. Thought she could be busy with her work. There's one day where i was asking how was she doing? She replies me with a single thumbsup that's all. Fast forward 11 hours till late night she hasn't replied me a single message but i thought she could be busy as she did told me the day before she will be attending her colleagues Chinese new year open house. So i did ask her again how she was doing. Got a reply shortly after telling me that she is on the way back home. She even shares me pictures of her with her colleagues during the open house.

Chat conversations went back to normal for few days after she even shares me pictures of what she's doing, the food she ate but she still feels very passive and the messages feels very dry. So did arrange with her yesterday for another date and she agrees to do so. Went to confess to her how much i like her and so on then shortly she tells me at most she could only be a friend to me and she says i share a lot of similarities with her ex 🫠 and she can't find the spark between both of us.

My heart sank literally after I heard that. Feels like i got hit hard by a bullet. I did everything for her everything I could and with all the effort time I threw into her all gone down to the drain flushed away 🥺. And now i can't sleep all night because of that. But she did apologized to me she shouldn't have wasted my time with so many dates.

This post has been edited by Kennchew: Feb 29 2024, 11:50 AM

But what makes you think its the chocolate gift?

Yes i did unfollowed her social media and deleted all her whatsapp photos including the entire chat as well but now still have to deal with those dark thoughts inside my head keep telling me what went wrong? It feels kinda quiet now without receiving any further message from her

She's a family oriented person and lives with her family all the time. Her parents will never allow any guys to sleepover at her house until its after marriage which she told me. So not initiating sex is not the main cause of issue here.