You listened to the other side of the spectrum or exposed to the other side of the spectrum too much. Continue mixing & get exposed yourself to one sided spectrum will only demotivate you further & further.

Those who went through the relationship / marriage tribulations, only a couple of them successfully got through it to be able to give pointer to the younger generation.

Those who remained single or decided to remain unmarried will find ways to justify their decision. Usually, they have tendency to be narrow minded and not open for the other possibility. If your surrounding ppl are facing issue in the marriage, you will only get the reasons not to be married.

In world, there are a lot of analogy. Just take a simple one from works place. If your works place, your boss cannot perform, your colleagues cannot perform, your sub-ordinate cannot performs, you expect yourself can perform under such influence ? Whereas, if you in the environment, where your boss is the super performer, your colleagues are all very productive, your sub-ordinate also very productive, indirectly you will become the performer.

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Those who decided to get children in late 30s or early 40s, there will be new set of problems to be faced by their children as they grow up.

One may argue if the couple have enough resources , why not ? It is not about the resources alone. There is saying ""It takes a village to raise a child". To raise the children properly, is a task of multi generations, not a single generation task. Those who think it is a generation task, there will be something missing in the child as they are growing up.

Raising a child, the grandparent has the role to play. The parent has the role to play. The siblings has the role to play. Imagine how old would the grandparent be when the kid is around 8~12 y.o ?The time when they actively seeking guidance in something that the parent may not be able to guide. The grandparent may no longer be around.

Sometimes, there are topics which are too sensitive to be taught or guided by the parent but the same topics, when it was being talked / guided by the grandparent, it is not sensitive at all. Imagine the parent quarrelling & fighting in their marriage, do you think they are the correct role model to guide the children on the marriage ? The kids will be thinking "you better take care your marriage before coming to talk to me on the topic". I remember when I was small, the topic of marriage was not never being talked by my parent ( conservative Asian parent don't talk about it) but more from my grandparent. Whenever a scenario occurred, they will gave example how should the situation be handled & the idea to handle the issue during their time will indirectly apply to grandchildren's life when they grow up.

This post has been edited by nihility: Feb 5 2024, 09:53 AM

Hangat-hangat tahi ayam. This is the trait of the male that any female should avoid. Failure in life are common but to give up just because of few failures, that is beyond redemption. Easy to give up half way on reason of becoming weaker but the other half waiting for you sacrifices her youth waiting. If you can give up so easily, don't get into relationship.

Those who change their goal posts regularly are not the good candidate for husband, neither will be a good candidate in the work force to be groomed as the decision maker.

Fallacy statement. I'm married but I never regret. It has and always will be the decision that I'll make. Sometime in life, with too many options, you will experience not fulfilling life because everyday you are dealing with " what if". If the life really works with "what if", there will not be any beggar on the street.

Suffering is part of life. Without suffering, with everything is perfect, ppl will not know what is ideal. Do ppl want to live in such condition when you can't even differentiate what is the beauty as the is no benchmark/measurement for the ugly ? Just do some calculus thinking, imagine what if everything is at the steady state, a straight line, a monotone, no cry no laughter, everything is perfect - then what is the meaning of life under such condition ?

It is the rotation of the emotions faced in the life, the process of going through it, recognize that you will not be able to avoid it but has to embrace it. Since you cannot avoid it, then make the best out of it in the life instead of complaining & whining about suffering and failure.

Facts are not created by imagination but you work on it to achieve. Regardless how the individual lead our life (if you lead a meaningful & fulfilling life, you will become the example & role model for other, when you lead moderate or unfulfilling life, you will become the lesson to the other) , Heaven don't give a damn to it because the suffering or happiness you experience is part and parcel of the self correcting/balancing society.

This unstoppable progress, we would only be able to witness a fraction of it in our biological lifespan. We would not be able to witness the beginning until the ending of the creation as it is purposely placed in such a way to left us ponder and question.