i have been married for more than 10 yrs now and with kids as well. My wife is a good one and I m a good husband and father as well. - not qualified to be one the moment you breached your marriage oath. Angkat bakul statement as good husband and father.

i m in my mid 40s now and am a family man.
I m about to share something and would like to know if this is normal.  No, it is not normal. You are just looking for similar cases to support & justify your action so that you feel less guilty.

i love my family, but like all marriages, after 10 yrs, my wife is getting old and body is also out of shape. To make it short, she is not attractive anymore after giving birth. Problem is we tried to have sex but i seem hard to have erection. it disappoints her but i cant do anything if she isnt attractive to me. Sometimes i take pill to make her happy but i also dont like doing it everytime, although we only do it once a month.
I thought i m erectile dysfunction, however, i m attracted to women and sometimes i can feel it strongly too. - Being married, your role is not only as the husband but also as the leader of the family unit. If your partner is out of shape, you shares the responsibility on the state how she ended up in such way. Leading a team or a family unit is not as simple as given remark / comment like "you are fat" or "you should exercise". Being a leader knows that he cannot abandoned the responsibility & aware the need to find a way out of the deteriorating condition. The correct approach is to lead by example, you yourself need to lead a healthy lifestyle & leads her to opt the healthy lifestyle. It is not easy to stay discipline on the healthy food choices & exercise routine but at least as the partner, you can always influence her by opting for more healthy food choices like - Atelier Salad Bar,  LJ Superfood, The Fish Bowl, etc. Apart from influencing her on the food option, adapt to the healthy eating habit - stop when your stomach is full, don't take anymore just because it is free or feel the food will be wasted, the wife will indirectly be influenced by your habits. It can be done and not impossible. 

Unfortunately or rather fortunately, i have an affair with my colleague, she is 15yrs younger and i m very much attracted to her. sexually was satisfying but that also brings to another problem where sex gets more difficult with my wife. i know it is wrong to have an affair but i m still very much horny at this age and it sort of dream comes true. To cut it short, i am still very much committed to my family but sexually i need to find satisfaction as well. is this something normal ? can i maintain feeding my family well and continue to have affair with another woman ?
Unfortunately or rather fortunately, the woman is also married. hence we both know we cannot ask for more. - you are exploiting on the colleague knowing well her weakness and this is not by chance.

my question is can i still love my wife but not sexually aroused by her, and yet still having an affair ? is this normal or too much to ask for ? i m more than willing to take care of my family for the rest of their life and also willing to live till old with her but i have not much interest with her. maybe it is commitment but commitment is part of love also, right ?
Shoot me !