I been struggling with mental health since I'm in Secondary School, I have low self-esteem, low confident, timid.

I was diagnose with Persistent Depressive Disorder for a few years now, can't go by a day without meds, even with meds I can't get negative thought out of my brain.

The worse for me is, I have no mental support, parents don't believe in Mental Health issue, those small number of friends I have also don't think it's a big deal, usually being told to suck it up, stop being negative and have more confident, almost loses my friendship. I been pretending I have been getting better in front of them, but the truth is I am not.

I'm at my early 30s now I feel like nothing is improving, work been down hill every since I finish my study, finance is terrible still need financial help from parents, and lot of bills to pay off.

I can't afford counseling nor therapy because seeing a psychiatrist already blew my monthly budget away,

I'm lost, I'm feel lonely, I feel trap, this can't go on to my 40s so on, going to bed and sleep is easy, but waking is hard cause I got nothing look forward to.

Wake up, Work, Eat, Sleep.

I don't know... why am I here again?