it's been a rollercoaster ride...long story short, i hurt my gf again for bringing up topics about the guy who she lost her first time to...the guy left for singapore for good 2 months ago. apparently, she is/was very attached to this guy due to reasons only chicks would understand

the first time i hurt her, i was using her computer i saw some entries she made in her blog, not knowing that the blog was not meant for public access. her entries was about how she couldn't forget her first man with pictures and song lyrics yada yada.... i confronted her and she denied everything and got very upset for the fact the i "pried" her privacy. i totally forget about my sadness and quickly turn to cheer her up.

next day, bought a soft toy and a card for her and things went good after a while

but lately, we went out to some places and she told me about her memories with that guy exactly a year ago, it starts to make me uneasy but i tried to keep it to myself as i dont wana bring up things she doesnt like to hear. over the few days, she even changed her msn taglines to "remembering the times" or "it was then" etc

even worse i saw her writing some sort of "diaries" on some word docs. this time, i didn't had the trust in her seeing that she's been denying things that i've seen with my own eyes months ago...i opened it up and i was never wrong. lately she's been listening to the song "you should be happy", she said in the "diary" that she is still wondering whether the guy is happy yada yada...here's another catch, i had been quite sensitive to the songs she's been listening to cuz it realy felt like she's not over him yet but as usual, she always deny and say i'm too sensitive

i dont hav a lot of ppl to talk to, eventually i talked to a close friend of mine, as well as my ex, who we still shares our close friendship...ppl advice me to dump her since i'm not happy with the relationship as well as not trusting her...i thought carefully for the whole day, shed my tears for the first time since i broke up w/ my ex a year ago

i decided to talk it out with her, hoping she can shed me some light herself and works things out....but then again, she denied everything. this time, i brought up the topic that i hav been keeping to myself all these times. i told her what i've seen with my own eyes on her blog before but she kept saying that those were before we even started goin out, mind you, i know the dates, i wont get that wrong

i dont know why, when she gets upset again, i was deciding whether to drop the sledge hammer or to salvage what i have. in that split second, i have decided to keep her. i dont know why am i so attached to her even though i know she's lying, i think i'd rather listen to what she said than what i've seen

sigh...i was writing this to ask girls out there ways to show her my sincere apology especially i dont feel like doing the same thing as before and thinking gifts and cards can buy her off...but i got carried away and starts writing half of the story

am i too sensitive about that guy? is this normal to girls who lost their first time? i know i'm sick of her emotional baggage and i can't agree more w/ yours and my mate's advice...but most of the time, i believe in decision i have to make in a split second because contemplating didn't help at all...thanks but i've already made up my mind...i just wana cheer her up

i dont know why i'm so attached to her. as if i've never had better relationships...maybe i'm just afraid of change

ok...i was so carried away but i forget 1 important bit...all these things happened, 1 thing i never doubt is that she loves me, i'm never wrong in this one cuz i know how to see....she might not be 100% opened up to me, i'm never sure

i dont think there's anything i could do to cheer her up and let her forget her past, i was hoping that we could talk something out and maybe we could do something to each other but it only ended sadly...again

so...i can say loudly that I AM DEFINITELY NOT HER REBOUND...or maybe.....a rebound that she fell in love...

*sigh*

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Added on October 6, 2007, 12:58 pmwe've been dating since april...didn't officialise it until august (chicks always want the official stamp to certify our death certificate)

ok, u can feel whether she's emotional when she's talking to/about her ex.....put it this way...i would mention about my ex to her as a friend eg. oh, we've been to this restaurant before, it's great, lets try it. period. whereas, hers is more like, ahh...this restaurant, that was our first date, the atmosphere....

she does mention about her ex back in malaysia or other flings, i have no problems with it as there's no emotional baggage carried with her

This post has been edited by vintec: Oct 6 2007, 12:58 PM

crap...still dont know how to show her i'm deeply regret....the best way is to prove it but i want to giv her an assurance

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Added on October 6, 2007, 1:12 pmu got it all wronggggggggggg...i didnt care about the past, it's just that she still misses him...i asked about the first time issue becuz i really wana know if it's so significant to girls...i mean she todl me she'd already moved on

This post has been edited by vintec: Oct 6 2007, 01:13 PM

ok sorry...i got so carried away in the first place...i added the story so that u guys can get a better picture...obviously, it didnt

sigh...i still think beign dumped is better, u dont hav choice, u move on, dumping ppl is harder, cuz u decide when and where it ends and there's no point of return

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Added on October 6, 2007, 1:15 pmi like ur siggy, suiteng XD

This post has been edited by vintec: Oct 6 2007, 01:15 PM

[quote=WaCKy-Angel,Oct 6 2007, 03:18 PM]
Uhm....if u dont mind, u wouldnt even mentioned it...nor keep remembering and remind it to yourself/her...
Maybe deep inside ur heart u really mind about it...i dont know...
[/quote]

i'm sure i dont mind about this, it happened even before i met her, i dont care about her past

But......as i've said..
Nothing wrong with still missing her ex...
Humans arent robots they cant just switch off thier memories and feelings....

[/quote]

this comforts me that i'm just being narrow minded

i was preparign myself yesterday and it was as bad as being dumped last year...downside of dumping is there's no return for u becuz u asked for it....i know it's offtopic

ok...off to a football match...i'll come back tonight...thx in advance, guys

they were not in a relationship at all, it was just a fling...they stopped dating for almost a year and that guy left home for good 2 months ago

man, do i ever thought of how she feels? i've not even finished the whole story yet. when we were dating, she pushed me away when we hang out w/ that dude, not once, but twice...i forgave her, whereas most of mine and her friend said they would hav dump her long time ago

anyway, forget about apology, she's fine with me now, i've only left her a letter before i left home this morning...i've talked to my best friend, he said it's normal for girls to feel that way and normal for me to get jealous...and i really appreciate all inputs here, cheers all

do u mean i'm in a shitty position or i'm not man enough?


it's already 1 year since they stopped dating, is that normal for her for not forgetting him yet? i know girls are very emotional, but exactly to what extend, i dont know

like i said, i might be a rebound but it's obvious that she loves me, so i MIGHT say i'm the rebound she fell in love...the whole thing is very complicated since the very beginning where we started as friends with benefits...and we grew on each other over time

this happened to my ex before we got together w/ my ex, i knew she wasn't over her ex yet and i stood by her and we lived happily for 3 years...i dont know how i did it, maybe i was just too naive...and now this happens again and i'm kinda sick and tired of it...

what my best friend told me yesterday was it's normal for her to miss him even though after this while and maybe after a long period, she would open up to me totally and stop hidding things from me

all i can do is try my best and hope for the best to come...yesterday was one of my darkest day, worse than when i got dump last year by my ex of 3 years...i was so unsure what lies ahead of me after bringing up that sad topic of hers, and f***ed up my ankle and knee so badly during a football match...but luckily, she was there to take care of me after all these

whoa...she control freak ah? that's what i like about my current gf compared to my ex, she doesnt control me

yea, that's my point, i do keep our old stuff but i'm not emotionally attached. actually, i left them in a box and i've totally forgot about it until u mentioned it now.


i know i've repeated this many times cuz this is the only hope for this relationship to go on. so is 1 year too short for them? especially since we've only dated for 6 months

This post has been edited by vintec: Oct 7 2007, 01:21 PM

wow...i've never seen a guy who's so emotionally attached, one of a kind....not that i wasn't serious with my ex of 3 years, i cried for days when she dumped me but eventually i told myself, i hav no choice but to suck it up

oo...how would it be...nice song

This post has been edited by vintec: Oct 7 2007, 01:33 PM

aiks, emo is not what i want now, been through a lot...but heck, they must be nice

actually, when i confronted her 2 nites ago, i was hoping she would say her feelings out and we can works things out....i gav her my shoulder to cry on for that guy before, why isn't she doin it anymore? maybe she knows i'm very sensitive towards that guy

This post has been edited by vintec: Oct 7 2007, 01:40 PM

yup...hopefully

a side note....next time if i'm looking for a relationship, i'll look for virgins or those who had a lot of partners before...they'd either hav no emotional baggage or lost it long time ago