Oct 26 2022, 03:33 PM
QUOTE(curlydog02 @ Oct 25 2022, 06:06 PM)
Today, I wish to share stories about my marriage life. I've been married for 20 years and have 2 children. Recently because of some argument, my wife said wanted to divorce and the reason is our point of view is different. She said I didn’t coax her during the time we argued and let herself calm down for a week. She also complaint thru these 20 years of marriage life, our 3 life viewing angle (三观) is different. She always said our way of thinking, financial freedom and mindset are not the same.
Thinking:-
She always said our children are grown up, we can go out and do whatever we want. Is time to let go but I’m not thinking that way. My children are still in their teenage years and during these periods they need more attention. These periods are the time they step out into the social world, a wrong step might cause their whole life.
Financial freedom:-
My wife's income is twice of my income. Due to that, she will spend most of her time at work.
And for my job, it is more simple. So I can have more time to take care of my home and family.
So, 80% of household issues were taken care of by me. Like cleaning, cooking, sending children to school at 6AM every morning etc.
I had spoken to my wife, since her job needs more time, so I’m staying back to take everything, so she can concentrate on her work and be hassle free when back from work.
Mindset:-
Her job gives her many opportunities to explore new things compared to my work, everyday I just sit in my office chair and work. When we had a conversation, she had many things to say but for me, everyday is the same. Whenever she seeks my advice she will say I sit too long in the office. The business world is different now.
Actually, I agreed with her. The business world had changed a lot and her pace moved faster than me. In my opinion, our children's pace is still slow. Someone had to move slower to guide them and take care of everything. Like those dramas, a successful husband will complain that their house wife knows nothing and end up divorce them. I have the same feeling now.
It looks like the one who stays back taking family might end up getting dumped.
Sorry this may hurt your feelings but I think she is having affair at work. Thinking:-
She always said our children are grown up, we can go out and do whatever we want. Is time to let go but I’m not thinking that way. My children are still in their teenage years and during these periods they need more attention. These periods are the time they step out into the social world, a wrong step might cause their whole life.
Financial freedom:-
My wife's income is twice of my income. Due to that, she will spend most of her time at work.
And for my job, it is more simple. So I can have more time to take care of my home and family.
So, 80% of household issues were taken care of by me. Like cleaning, cooking, sending children to school at 6AM every morning etc.
I had spoken to my wife, since her job needs more time, so I’m staying back to take everything, so she can concentrate on her work and be hassle free when back from work.
Mindset:-
Her job gives her many opportunities to explore new things compared to my work, everyday I just sit in my office chair and work. When we had a conversation, she had many things to say but for me, everyday is the same. Whenever she seeks my advice she will say I sit too long in the office. The business world is different now.
Actually, I agreed with her. The business world had changed a lot and her pace moved faster than me. In my opinion, our children's pace is still slow. Someone had to move slower to guide them and take care of everything. Like those dramas, a successful husband will complain that their house wife knows nothing and end up divorce them. I have the same feeling now.
It looks like the one who stays back taking family might end up getting dumped.
She may think that she is the breadwinner, she thinks she doesn't need you since her pay is higher. But fact of matter is, nobody raises the kids as good as you do. She needs to realize whichever guy she is going to bring home, he is going to fall short of you in impressing the kids. Even if she divorce n raise the kids herself, she will struggle.
She needs to realize that if she does divorce from you, her life is going to be bleak. Why ? because the kids will hate her and all she has left is her career.
I know a story of this woman who divorced her husband, migrated to Australia became a successful real estate agent there, and married an ang moh. but she wanted to encourage her daughter to follow her, the daughter wanted to stay with the exhusband, no matter what even to this day, when the daughter became adult.
So that lady even how successful she is in austalia, she felt lonely and unfulfilled.
i think is pretty unfair after 20 blady years only she brought all this up....about mismatch with you (way of thinking, mismatch). What the heck, just live with it lah, this woman. wHY she didn't think of this when you both pak tor and asked for break up, she is 20 years too late.
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