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TSbigpoteto P
post Oct 21 2022, 04:53 PM, updated 2y ago

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Anyone living with in laws?

How to manage when we have different method of taking care of baby. Please share confused.gif

hotNcool
post Oct 25 2022, 04:28 PM

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im not living with them, and even my future in-law visit me after my confinement period in the future, i will make sure all things still goes my ways (but first , you need to express your needs and you pantang-larang bout people and so on) and all the things bout baby's well-being expecially all the old people remedy to cure the Jaundice , dont let them try anything except scienceļ¼Œboth of you and your hubby must stand strong against all remedies that "un-science" but sound do-able. and bout the food (if you are chinese la, ) communicate, not so much of oily soup with sesame oil (it will clog the milk duct),

another word, use your hubby as the communication bridge, let their son to say no on behalf of you , or you going to have a hard time. all you and your hubby must bulat suara and decide who is the one to rule and making decision for the kid' education


This post has been edited by hotNcool: Oct 25 2022, 04:33 PM
OlgaC4
post Oct 25 2022, 07:13 PM

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QUOTE(bigpoteto @ Oct 21 2022, 04:53 PM)
Anyone living with in laws?

How to manage when we have different method of taking care of baby. Please share  confused.gif
*
Try have your own place. Sure gaduh later.
But is good to stay with them during this period since they will help you a lot.
You will need all the help you can get from them.
Baby need 3 things only

1. Food
2. Poo poo- shi shi
3. Sleep.

After 2 and 3 baby. Just give the in law to take care.

TSbigpoteto P
post Oct 28 2022, 10:42 AM

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QUOTE(hotNcool @ Oct 25 2022, 04:28 PM)
im not living with them, and even my future in-law visit me after my confinement period in the future, i will make sure all things still goes my ways (but first , you need to express your needs and you pantang-larang bout people and so on) and all the things bout baby's well-being expecially all the old people remedy to cure the Jaundice , dont let them try anything except scienceļ¼Œboth of you and your hubby must stand strong against all remedies that "un-science" but sound do-able. and bout the food (if you are  chinese la, ) communicate, not so much of oily soup with sesame oil (it will clog the milk duct),

another word, use your hubby as the communication bridge, let their son to say no on behalf of you , or you going to have a hard time. all you and your hubby must bulat suara and decide who is the one to rule and making decision for the kid' education
*
I havent deliver already getting alot of naggings from in law that this cannot do that cannot use. Almost everyday argue with husband.
Husband also kesian stuck in the middle dont know how. Both of us dont want to sound disrespectful to the parents. If I voice out then looks like I am a disrespectful. Sigh.


*Tried to explain to in law about our pov but end up kena cut halfway before finish explaining and continue nagging.
hotNcool
post Oct 28 2022, 11:55 AM

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QUOTE(bigpoteto @ Oct 28 2022, 10:42 AM)
I havent deliver already getting alot of naggings from in law that this cannot do that cannot use. Almost everyday argue with husband.
Husband also kesian stuck in the middle dont know how. Both of us dont want to sound disrespectful to the parents. If I voice out then looks like I am a disrespectful. Sigh.
*Tried to explain to in law about our pov but end up kena cut halfway before finish explaining and continue nagging.
*
so you all live together?

you husband must be keras bout this, or else you and your confinement months is about non-stop nagging, i dislike all those keras kepala old people, all think their words and thoughts are rightful ranting.gif

if you kesian your husband , who the one to kesian you? definitely not your husband and in-laws

how bout you tell him what to do (soft way, pls dont get into argument) and make your point right that you're the baby bearer and you are the mother whom will never harm your baby, if use your mother's solution to take care of the baby or yourself, who are responsible for all the unwanted thing when occurs ?

explain to in-laws will not work out if she or he just one -way communication bout him or herself,
confinement is about good rest and free from all nags, if like this, just go book a confinement center for peace of mind, say that the center strictly dont allow visiting
but if you live together, then i guess nags wont stop even if you manage get yourself confinement package
sometimes, someone need to be a lil immoral to make him or herself feels better, and stop caring too much about others, if do so will make yourself suffer, no point right

This post has been edited by hotNcool: Oct 28 2022, 12:02 PM
hotNcool
post Oct 28 2022, 12:00 PM

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QUOTE(hotNcool @ Oct 28 2022, 11:55 AM)
so you all live together?

you husband must be keras bout this, or else you and your confinement months is about non-stop nagging, i dislike all those keras kepala old people, all think their words and thoughts are rightful ranting.gif

if you kesian your husband , who the one to kesian you? definitely not your husband and in-laws

how bout you tell him what to do (soft way, pls dont get into argument) and make your point right that you're the baby bearer and you are the mother whom will never harm your baby, if use your mother's solution to take care of the baby or yourself, who are responsible for all the unwanted thing when occurs ?

explain to in-laws will not work out if she or he just one -way communication bout him or herself,
confinement is about good rest and free from all nags, if like this, just go book a confinement center for peace of mind, say that the center strictly dont allow visiting
but if you live together, then i guess nags wont stop even if you manage get yourself confinement package

sometimes, someone need to me a lil immoral to make him or herself feels better, and stop caring too much about others, if do so will make yourself suffer, no point right
*
wrong post, slah tekan rclxub.gif

This post has been edited by hotNcool: Oct 28 2022, 12:01 PM
Lahaha
post Oct 28 2022, 03:51 PM

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I guess you will really need your husband to step in to voice out. You're correct to assume if you personally voice out or worse, lash out at them, they will think you're disrespectful. But also, if they have any common sense, they should know how not to push the wrong buttons of a pregnant woman.

But I guess it also falls back to how your MIL was treated when she was pregnant with your husband. If her experience was such, then it would be likely she will follow suit. I guess I am the lucky one. My mother didn't like how my grandmother nagged her, so she decided to break and end the "chain/circle" and not pressure/nag my wife at all. If anything, my mother will text me first to gauge my understanding of my wife before suggesting/advising on anything to her directly.
nihility
post Oct 28 2022, 08:47 PM

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Just tell your in laws, your new born, you will handle the thing on your own as it is your responsibility as new mother, when you need help, you will ask.

Allow them help on other things except baby handling.
marrie.may P
post Nov 13 2022, 11:15 PM

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QUOTE(bigpoteto @ Oct 21 2022, 04:53 PM)
Anyone living with in laws?

How to manage when we have different method of taking care of baby. Please share  confused.gif
*
Never ever let your in law to take care of your child then. Get a nanny.
OlgaC4
post Nov 15 2022, 09:51 AM

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Must be first kid le.
WaCKy-Angel
post Nov 15 2022, 09:58 AM

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QUOTE(marrie.may @ Nov 13 2022, 11:15 PM)
Never ever let your in law to take care of your child then. Get a nanny.
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My thinking is nanny is outsider he/she may not do everything in the interest of the baby whilst own parents will.
OlgaC4
post Nov 15 2022, 10:48 AM

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QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ Nov 15 2022, 09:58 AM)
My thinking is nanny is outsider he/she may not do everything in the interest of the baby whilst own parents will.
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Her first baby le. Must be over protective. Best your mom and in law give a helping hand.
WaCKy-Angel
post Nov 15 2022, 11:20 AM

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QUOTE(OlgaC4 @ Nov 15 2022, 10:48 AM)
Her first baby le. Must be over protective. Best your mom and in law give a helping hand.
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actually not about baby lah....
its staying with in-laws sure mostly sure gaduh one.. very common


OlgaC4
post Nov 15 2022, 11:27 AM

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QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ Nov 15 2022, 11:20 AM)
actually not about baby lah....
its staying with in-laws sure mostly sure gaduh one.. very common
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Yes stay together sure gaduh. Better have own house. Your mother or in law stay with youin your house.
Ask help from them. You need all hands on board. Taking care or baby is not easy for first timer.

This post has been edited by OlgaC4: Nov 15 2022, 11:29 AM
OlgaC4
post Nov 15 2022, 11:33 AM

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If you stay in their house. Just follow their way. You are recuperating and need all the help. Don't think you can handle it on your own.
marrie.may P
post Nov 16 2022, 10:26 PM

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QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ Nov 15 2022, 09:58 AM)
My thinking is nanny is outsider he/she may not do everything in the interest of the baby whilst own parents will.
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Not all spouses do what they are supposed to do. Not all bosses do what they are supposed to do. Not all siblings do what they are supposed to do. Unless you know your parents in law well enough thinking what you think they will do with your child, otherwise, get a nanny.
hotNcool
post Nov 17 2022, 02:39 PM

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QUOTE(WaCKy-Angel @ Nov 15 2022, 09:58 AM)
My thinking is nanny is outsider he/she may not do everything in the interest of the baby whilst own parents will.
*
this is for sure, but newbie daddy and mummy really need this kind of help,
but really depends, i knew a kid in his early secondary school still always stay with his nanny and her family in his free time , not his mum, this shows how close they are.
hotNcool
post Nov 17 2022, 02:40 PM

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QUOTE(marrie.may @ Nov 16 2022, 10:26 PM)
Not all spouses do what they are supposed to do. Not all bosses do what they are supposed to do. Not all siblings do what they are supposed to do. Unless you know your parents in law well enough thinking what you think they will do with your child, otherwise, get a nanny.
*
for most of the case, in laws are way too bossy, someone pls stop them!
different story when you really get a super duper nice and caring in laws rclxms.gif

 

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