I have an ex colleague who worked for 5 years in my company, she was diagnosed with Asperger's late too (not sure what age exactly, I'm gonna guess +/-20yo).

Unfortunately I was also socially awkward in the years she was around, so I don't know her well. But as an observer, I think she was... "accepted"? After all she stayed with the company for 5 years ish. Idk why she resigned though.

We're IT company, where our "developer" role is a bit different from others. We're kind of a consultant role but not customer facing. The consultancy part is mainly internal, where we provide our inputs/suggestions usually in more technical aspects. It still involves dealing with people and you do need to talk almost on a daily basis (discussions, Q&A etc), but I think people here generally don't care* if you go lunch alone or stay silent in a group conversation.

* Some people might ask out of curiosity but they don't mean much.

Personally I think it might help to be upfront about your condition, to explain what it is and then tell people how you'd like people to treat/adjust to you. I personally have strabismus (misaligned eyes) and I inform people if I notice they're struggling with my eye contact, it's been a positive effect for me so far. Not sure what kind of effect it'd bring for different conditions but I'd think that it's good for me to know so I can be more considerate about your situation.

I don't think it's the age but certain individuals... If I have to generalise then women gossip more rest assured, IT field less women hahahaha

Interesting way to put it, "anomalies"... I wouldn't label it negatively unless it impacts your work, but yes indeed.

I will first admit, I have limited view on other companies because I've been in my first job (discounting my horrendous 6month internship), so my view might be tunnel vision. Now, the way I see it: as a software consultant, 99% of the time we do not deal with external customers, so there's no need to make a good physical impression. Nobody cares if you slouch, drag your feet, eat lunch alone and so on. 80% ladies in my office including myself do not even put on make up

However, speaking is important, because that's one of our needed skill -- to discuss, suggest, convince, listen etc. If you're always talking, always interjecting others, or always dead silent, it WILL affect work and that's where people will start questioning. If you cannot do the bare minimum communication i.e. talk about work, then this is not for you.

Fair point, and I didn't mean to intentionally handicap yourself in the interview haha. What I mean is that you try your best and show your best self without revealing all your weaknesses. AFTER you successfully get in, then you introduce yourself truthfully. Because in probation, you know that company is evaluating whether you suit* the company, but don't forget it's likewise for you! Surely, it's tiring to wear a mask everyday and pretend what you're not, right? So let out the true you early, if you cannot accept how people are treating you, or if others cannot accept you, then there goes the probation and you can try again elsewhere.

Edit: * typo

This post has been edited by Takudan: Oct 3 2022, 04:26 PM

You better get 2nd (or more) opinions from other doctors....
Either to be really sure of your diagnosis, OR rid your perception that you're autistic. If you're not diagnosed then I would just say it's more like a .... "circumstantial social awkwardness". You just became that way because of your environment (maybe people around you are generally noisy) and your reaction (that you refuse to interact with society to the point you don't know how).

Human mind is very strong at self prophesising, that whatever you think you are, eventually becomes true or manifests on its own. If you think you're stupid, you're gonna become stupid if you're not already.