Mar 30 2022, 11:40 AM
QUOTE(maxmahen87 @ Mar 23 2022, 01:02 PM)
Initial I never wanted kids. Obviously, it was our (my) fault for not discussing this before marriage. My wife only started hinting about having kids because all her friends were getting preggy/kids. Crying every night. I gave in.
When she was pregnant, she asked if we can have the kid in Malaysia, and wanted the baby to grow with all the other family members (especially the grandparents)
I felt it was a good point. I left my high paying job abroad and since I was already in a stable financial situation, I decided to return to Malaysia.
Now she is at it again. She started the conversation by saying her friends are adding more family members, her parents for having 5 kids, even some of MY friends who are getting 2nd or 3rd child.
I hate comparisons used as an excuse to win a discussion/argument
sounds like the real issue isn't necessarily about having kid/s imo.When she was pregnant, she asked if we can have the kid in Malaysia, and wanted the baby to grow with all the other family members (especially the grandparents)
I felt it was a good point. I left my high paying job abroad and since I was already in a stable financial situation, I decided to return to Malaysia.
Now she is at it again. She started the conversation by saying her friends are adding more family members, her parents for having 5 kids, even some of MY friends who are getting 2nd or 3rd child.
I hate comparisons used as an excuse to win a discussion/argument
since I assume you can maybe afford to hire a helper/nanny to assist with the upbringing. That should free up more of your time to do other things.
the issue if you asked me, is that you are being caught out by your wife hasty and quite often, one sided decisions.
and this is leaving you with resentment.
Open dialogue may help and maybe sharing to her how you don't like to be surprised like this.
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