I was always skeptical about dating apps, not that I met any scammers yet, but I've heard horror stories.
But having seen some professionals here preaching about going casual, my surrounding friends also sharing their good news using it, I find their experiences interesting, maybe I should explore this part of myself and give it a go, and set myself a timeline and quit if the venture is not fruitful, here goes!

First of all I only swipe "verified" users.

First two days was kind of Meh, I matched with a lot of girls, I will initiate chat with those I find it desirable, here is the breakdown:

60% of them got no response
20% of them got response but they kill the conversation.
20% of them texted me first, but you guessed it, they look undesirable.

One of them is just... I am speechless.
"I am a teacher so I work a lot, and there is no off day, I love to work and I hate holidays." - This is what she wrote, of course she did not wrote them in one go, in between I have replies, basically I am trying to ask her out, this is what I usually do in this app, I do not waste too much time chatting. What is the point of her using dating app if she behaves like this? She looks like Indian but I gave it a shot as I can see she took care of her shape well, but the interaction put me off a lot.

Just when I am about to throw in the towel and give up, things finally got interesting.
I matched a total of 2 quality girls. They looked very desirable physically, and agreed to my invitation easily.

One of them share lots of common interest with me, we even played the same Playstation game! <age 21>
Another one is like a perfect copy of me, thinks very rationally like a man, direct, no sugarcoat, and prefers call over text, we had calls for 3 nights ever since. <age 24>

Going to meet them this weekend, one on Sat, another on Sun.
My expectation was very pessimistic, getting 2 good ones in a week definitely exceeded my expectations, hope the dates will go well.
I felt that, it doesn't need a lot of matches, those are just numbers and they are not meaningful, most just matched and do nothing, just a handful of good quality ones is enough to occupy you, meanwhile I will still be continue swiping to see if I can get more of these matches.

Will update here after the events happened.

This post has been edited by AshenOne: May 25 2024, 02:18 PM

remember. They are seeing other guys too. you're not the only one.

I understand, girl A has long hour work schedule, work 7 days a week, only night available, and she told me she is too tired to do anything but to lay down at home, even given up watching her favourite youtubers to kill time. Her "off day" is on Sun which is just means can leave earlier from work, and she chose to give that precious time to me, regardless I felt good about this.

Another one girl B, she outright told me she is meeting her matches too, she is not hiding anything, I am impressed by her straightforwardness.
She did mentioned none lasted long enough to enter a real relationship, at most just meet once or few times then go separate ways.
I wonder if anything more will happen between us? I am about to find out soon.

there's always a reason why those girls are on dating app

as you have experienced yourself some of them either seem to have character/attitude problem (which you can see from the way they replied you) or some of them are extremely very choosy, which is why they are still single and resorted to dating apps.

most girls i've met over dating apps are attention seekers or got problems like divorcee etc, i can count on fingers how many girls i hooked up (online and offline) with are genuinely chill, and no problem with open relationship kind of arrangement. A lot have been ONS or 2-time-thingy.

i heard personal stories from my girls, that some of them are able to ask different guys out on weekends.
if they were not choosy, they would easily opt for different guy for 6 days/ week, either be her free grab driver, or shopping mate etc.

i'm not joking , these guys can be pathetic they lower themselves to be 'useful' like that

A lot of girls just use dating apps to kill time and boost their ego. If guys want to be serious, they better search else where.

My advice....Don't put too much hope on dating apps. Most of the chatting doesn't lead to normal friendship, let alone dating.

Yes quite a number of them have attitude problems.

Seen some profile bio stating "do not text me if you do not have interesting opening conversation, do not talk about work, do not this, do not that...." Then what do you expect us to do?

Another one's bio is "I will not make any effort to reconcile if you piss me off".

Then some of them reply just for the sake of replying, they will not stop replying, but each of their reply is a dead end reply and you need to keep making things interesting, feels extremely one sided.

Sometimes I wonder, what is wrong with them? Can't just behave normally or decently? No one is owing anyone anything...

"Useful" means the girl is just using them for mundane errands but the guy is not getting anything meaningful? Or do you mean they're using the guys for bed? If it is the former, that is called Simp.

I feel you, the chat just feels abnormal in some cases, the decent ones are in the minority, not many but they are there, still able to be found if you just keep swiping.

Good luck to you TS. Dont give up and you'll eventually be rewarded.
I miss those days where I swiped TT+Tinder+CMB all at once, and basically met girls after girls. Good times

Anyways, if you cannot click with some girls, just ghost them straightaway. There're too many choices for you. Take it lightly and enjoy the game

This post has been edited by sapusapu: Feb 11 2022, 01:04 PM

You think about it la

On dating apps, they will get a lot more attention than in real life. So they will have an inflated sense of self. Then even if there is someone decent trying to use a dating app, the amount of crappy guys will make her defensive or skew her view on men.

Chances of having anything meaningful from a dating app is extremely low. Not impossible, but just understand the ecosystem so you don't have the wrong expectations.

wish i was 5 years younger..never had the chance to play with those apps

Just go in and have some 'fun'
Remember dont shotgun

Concluded the date for today, here goes!

While waiting for us to be seated and served, we were standing outside of the restaurant, queuing with other people. I noticed she was facing the other side while we were talking, her foot was pointed at other direction instead of me, eye contact is quite minimal, this can only mean 2 possibilities, either she is not interested or she is a bit shy, because I experienced both situation before, when I see the girl I liked a lot, I tend to not be able to hold eye contact and may face the other direction while talking, also I may do the same when the other person is irritating, so I cannot make a definitive comment on this behavior of hers.

Once seated we were quite okay at holding conversations. Both of us never looked at phone, both share the same thinking that it is a form of respect to the other party by doing so. Nothing too extraordinary, overall experience quite platonic. She also revealed that she's towards the conservative type, and only had 1 relationship so far. Seems legit, but I am a skeptical person and would only take her words as grain of salt.

As mentioned, overall experience is somewhere in the middle, so I decided to not go for next destination and sent her back home after the dine-in. She left a letter and a chocolate in my car right before she left my car, she didn't gift this directly to me, I was not aware of this until I reached home and found the gifts she left behind for me.

I am usually a more pessimistic person, I flipped a coin, landed in tails, so I was going to assume the letter will be saying "Let's just be friends" those kind of words. Once I opened it, the content written in it was saying it's nice to meet me and hope I enjoy the chocolate, ended with an emoji.

I guess it's kind of a good ending? The ball is in my park now, whether I want to continue to progress this storyline.
Hmmmmmmmm............

Seems like still an open field
Keep pursuing and see how it goes
Just dont get desperate

Just to say thank you only.

seem like she is quite nice (left you a gift, didnt look at phone during the date)

as for whether she has interest on you after the date, only you can tell.... hahah.. Just same like having an interview, you will know whether you will succeed or not.

anyway, good luck! your experience is quite inspiring .. haha

Conservative old man's view here, conservative female type is a wife material, what are you hesitating ? Waiting for a better candidate ? After this cannot blame Heaven is pranking on your love life anymore.

Definitely a good ending.. now it's up to you whether you want to continue or not

Well it's easy to know. Just text her daily and see her reaction. If she gives good response then it's a good sign. After that just set up second date.
BTW, don't be fooled by appearance. Based on my experience, obedient-looking / shy girls can be very open once they're comfortable with you

Straight tatooed girl doesn't mean they're wild and open. But the key is still, start a conversation first then you'll assess their perception

TS... Some ladies are slow-warm and a bit shy in actions.
In first date they probably hide their passion for a guy even they're quite interested. Some might be nervous in constant eye contact during conversation.

For this kind of ladies, you couldn't expect them act proactively in dating sessions, such as leaning towards you, touch you etc.. They just can't.

If she gave first signal already, then instead, you could test water by none harmful touch, such as lightly tap her arms or hands while talking.

You may also directly ask how she feels about you, then listening to her answers while observing her reaction, and if she would blush.

If after a few months you're comfortable with her, then you may advance such as try holding her hands or simply hold her tight but gently see if she would resist or not.

If she feels comfortable, remember your confession to her.

that's pretty much given
if you're on tinder, do you swipe as much as possible and chat with as much match as possible? duh

I was supposed to meet 5 females yesterday
23, 25, mid 20s, 28, 31, ended up only meet 35 year old at late evening lmao

okay TS, left a chocolate, not too bad after all

So TS need to ask yourself, you wanna continue go for 2nd?

But there are few things to remember , always keep your self calm in your head. Don't be desperate, don't emo when she rejects, keep it cool

We wish you all the best

Treat dating apps as a platform for you to know more female friends. Not for the purpose of dating. If you see them as a target, you will look desperate and act irrationally at times. Great things/relationship comes with no expectation. Thats how i met my gf via a dating app 2 years ago.

Treat them as friend.

so wht the interesting story? manage score any?

Thank you all, I read all the replies here.

For the one I am supposed to meet on last Sunday, her TanTan has been inactive for a few days in a row up to Sunday, I wasn't able to arrange the date properly with her being MIA, our chat was halfway. Her bio says "seldom online in here" and she means it literally by going MIA so long.

She continued to go missing until last night she online again, I asked for her alternative communication method and got her WhatsApp, then had a great time texting each other all night long until she sleeps at 1am.

For some reason she agreed easily in TanTan back then, but seems a bit hesitant when I try to arrange the date in WhatsApp, I can see she did not directly answer the invitation and changed topic. She said she felt a bit embarrassed to finish work quite late and hesitant to make me wait just to dinner with her. But I have a good feeling about this, probably she is just warming up and may change her mind to Yes after some more time bonding with her.

I expect to see her this coming Sun, will go for invitation again maybe after 1 or 2 days. She's really cute and fun to chat with.

Is working in facial service very demanding? Like, almost no time off? Response rate low for these kind of girls, can go missing very long.

they're looking for business, what you expect
unless you buy packages from them

Now that you knocked some sense into me, seems that way.

I usually will open the conversation with "Oh you're a facial specialist aren't you?", "I'm going to let you do facial for me".

They will reply, but give it some time they seemed to stop replying if I try to progress to casual chat for bonding purpose.

All the best to u

dont waste time, unless if you genuinely want to enjoy her facial service

too much drama

just write there single, virgin, want to get unvirgin, looking for good figure good looking girl, willing to pay for your shoppin. Simple.

Usually those working in retail outlets are Ah Lian or those who don't usually converse in English.

These kind of conversation won't work for them.

Just like Japanese, they cannot catch sarcasm or understand humorous one-liners.

Not really feel that kind of dating apps are trustable... most of apps looks like a scam

I took a day's COVID vaccination leave yesterday for the booster, and arranged the date with 1 of my TanTan matches right after the booster shot.

She is elder than me by a few years, but age is just a number, to keep it simple, let's just say she's very desirable, to me. We had a great time together, we went to arcades to play, we especially enjoyed the basketball game, I couldn't beat her score, luckily she thought I was just letting her win, and be happy about it.

Then we both share the same desire for Family Mart's green tea ice cream, she told me she couldn't finish 1 cone, and prefer we buy 1 cone and just share it. I was a bit reluctant but at the end give in. Then we found a place to sit down and just enjoy our time there, talking about stuffs, past future present those things.

At some point the topic started to become heavy for my taste, she told me she was supposed to be married by now if she didn't ask for a breakup in the heat of argument with her bf. I started to sense the urgency of marriage in her tone, she's very looking forward to the ceremony, have kids, be a house wife to focus on the kids, she even came up with names for male and female kids. I just keep listening and listening, seeing her so immersed in this topic.

Towards the end of date, I was going to send her home, before I get out of car park, she took the initiative to kiss me, and then wants to French. I thought it was a harmless move, but then she grabbed my hand and placed it on her chest, now I knew what she wanted. My gut feeling told me do not do it, so I just gently pushed her away and said I did not bring protection, but she said it is fine and do not mind.

My gut feeling at this point further confirmed she might be dangerous, there may be some motive behind, or maybe I was overthinking, it doesn't matter, if my gut says no, it means no. So I stand firm and told her I am just going to send her home. The whole ride was a bit of awkward silence until reaches her home.

I uninstalled TanTan after I reached my home.

It's a balance of staying relatively alert vs trusting a person to some extent when you first meet the person . And then if you're lucky enough to continue with a person for first few mths, time would tell the trustworthiness of the person.

In fact we could gauge whether a person is trustworthy or not to certain extent by observation when our heart and mind are crystal clear enough.
And it takes practice.

If you're in balance mode, your gut feeling is your best compass while without overwhelmed by fears.

Your gut feeling could be right. But this specific experience shouldn't stop you from continue to find love from dating apps or other social circles.

.

i asked a cute malay girl out also, 19 years old i believe
grabbed my hand to touch her breast in my car during late afternoon travel
i sense she's DTF but i was ignorant to escalate further (her father is unknown or from rich background) because i wasn't completely sure what's her motive
but luckily she's a bitch anyway on other platform, soon i quickly block her from social media also

so the conclusion is,
TanTan is not a good app for find bf/gf?

You were probably right to trust your gut feeling, who knows what might happen if you did give in to your desires...

i m also following this story...gosh..how old is that girl? why so thirsty?? but then feel sad for TS also, thought he can finally find a girl who can talk along..

sounds like cool story from sasuke

TS communicate in English or Mandrin in TanTan? Because although I know Mandrin, but I can navigate myself way better in English, and I just stop dead on how to even start w'out being generic in mandrin, and that kills me. So just wanna know if using English does it limit my chances to have successful dates?

Hello bro, it depends.

If their bio is Chinese, then I will use Chinese.
If not, I use English.

Used it for two weeks. Either they are boring or they don't reply. The one person who actually replied and initiated everything etc turns out to be a marketing scam person for a forex trading app. Cibai.

Yeah because the demand is on their side, probably a lot of males hitting on them, they do not bother to be interesting and want males do all the work, whoever performs the best she will entertain.

Looks like I had a slightly better experience compared to you, at least I matched with some that are not boring, and had dates, but still at the end it all goes nowhere.

Uninstalled too.

So far, from what I heard and experienced firsthand, it takes months or even YEARS to meet someone promising. Even then, "promising" only. You still need to go out, meet and talk a few hours, observe, then only you can judge just a little better whether this person is worth more of your time.

Only took you guys weeks to already decide to give up and uninstall? XD says a lot about your perseverance...
Try to stay longer lah, you'll learn to sift through the obvious bad apples more efficiently, so your time can be better spent on potential candidates. Or, if you found some features on TanTan not good then by all means, switch app. Glhf!

i've met over 200 females in the span of 10 years time (on and off), and i dont regret those experiences
it made me stronger and resilient even though i could be full of scars, emotionally.

i'd agree a little bit, tantan used to be a great app back in 2018-2019
on average i think i have asked out 50 females from that app, alone

What about your CMB experience???
Same success rate as tantan???

This post has been edited by justapawn: Mar 9 2022, 04:04 PM

how you define success.
If you solely define success as only *meeting up* girls, then yes ive met certain amount of girls.

Thanks for answering.
My definition of success rate is number of "meeting up".
CMB vs Tantan vs Tinder

20 vs 54 vs 32
if no mistaken

Strong will. Commendable to stand for what you believe. What about the chocolate girl? She sounds promising,

Any catfisher or scam accounts and unfortunately u asked them out?

usually scammers will ask for whatsapp right away
or they wouldnt accept any of your video call
so no, just some china accounts should be aware of

Updates?

over how long?

5-10 years
but not consistent