Hi folks, I am getting married soon. Would like to check what is the order of sequence for the tea ceremony and church wedding?
Typically when the groom pick the bride from her house, do the groom serve tea to her parents and relatives first, or do with groom side first?

1. Pick up bride
2. Serve tea to her parents and relatives
3. Go to groom's house to serve to groom parents and relatives.

or

1. Pick up bride
2. Go back to groom side and serve tea to groom parents and relatives.
3. Fetch bride back to her house to serve tea to her side.

1. Pick up bride
2. Serve tea to her parents and relatives
3. Go to groom's house to serve to groom parents and relatives.

thanks for the reply. This is the norm now? As I read in articles online, all are saying it's the groom side first.
This has been the point of contention between both parents.

https://www.brides.com/chinese-tea-ceremony-5078037
Today, however, most people see the tea ceremony as a symbol of the families’ welcoming the bride or groom into the family. According to Sharon Au, drinking that tea symbolizes the parents not only recognizing but also accepting a new person into the family. She goes on to note that “this is especially so for the groom’s side of the family.” (As is the case with many Chinese wedding traditions, the groom’s family takes precedence over the bride’s.) It’s also an expression of gratitude from the couple’s part. “It means: ‘I am marrying into this family, I will show my respect by serving tea to the elders,’” adds Au.

https://topictea.com/blogs/tea-blog/chinese...ceremony-guide/
During this tea ceremony, the bride serves tea by holding the teacup with both hands. Tea is served to bride’s parents at home as they wait for the groom to arrive. According to Chinese traditions, this is done out of respect and to show gratitude to the bride’s parents for raising her well. It is not a must for this tea to have dates or lotus seed, and the bride can serve the tea by herself.

After the wedding ceremony, the newly wedded couple serves tea by holding teacups with both hands. During this event, the newlyweds invite the groom elders to drink tea using their formal titles such as third aunt and first uncle.

It is also worth noting that the newlyweds follow a certain protocol when serving tea. They start by serving tea to the groom’s parents then proceed to serve the oldest members of the family to the youngest.
Other than serving tea in order of seniority, the couple should also remember to serve their paternal relatives before the maternal ones.

https://singaporebrides.com/articles/2020/0...ceremony-guide/
The Chinese tea ceremony usually takes place on the day of the wedding in the homes of the bride and groom respectively. The groom’s family should always be served first, so the tea ceremony for his family is usually held in the morning after he has fetched her home. The tea ceremony for the bride’s family will then take place in the afternoon when she has returned home from visiting the groom’s place.

Alternatively, some couples choose to combine both sessions of tea ceremony into one and hold it at a later time at their wedding venue to have more time to themselves in the morning. There is no right or wrong way to conduct your tea ceremony. As long as both families are agreeable and you remember to start with the groom’s family first, both options are acceptable.

This post has been edited by kenloh7: Dec 17 2021, 10:54 AM

Yeah, nowadays, simplified to pick up bride and tea ceremony at bride's house then only go to grooms house and do the tea ceremony.
Many even do a ceremonial "return to brides house on the 3rd day" before leaving the bride's house.

You can have tea ceremony after you got blessing from God (after service) in Church.

I am planning an "all in 1" ceremony.. not sure it could be done this way or not. I think Tea Ceremony basically is to please old folks' requirements.

1. 9-11am pick up bride to groom house (tea ceremony to be held at Bride & groom's house respectively)
2. 3pm-5pm ROM & cocktail party
3. 6:30pm Dinner reception

-----------------------------------

option 2:
1. 3pm pick up bride to ROM venue (hotel)
2. 4pm ROM ceremony
3. followed by Tea Ceremony for both side & cocktail party
4. 6:30pm Dinner reception

This post has been edited by anilin: Mar 24 2022, 11:21 AM

Tea ceremony is more towards cultural belief. Option 2 is workable if more modern eg. No tea offering ritual to ancestors or ancestral tablets.
I think doing the tea ceremony at the hotel is good too, just that the family and relatives need to arrive earlier, instead of their usual arrival just before the dinner starts.

Good thing is that if they know there is a tea ceremony, they will come and attend it (for face matters) and the best part, can start dinner on time because relatives are already at the venue.

I also think so. If they don't mind the sequence, like must do it after picking up bride ceremony etc. Ya. No offering ritual to ancestors involved.

If go for Option 2, would be much relaxing. Can depart from home at 3pm (auspicious time) then start ROM by 4pm.. (how long it takes usually? I'm engaging external ROM from JPN though) .. then proceed with Tea ceremony.

You are right, guests would come for ROM + Dinner all at once, so no waiting etc...

I think it is best too and my wife actually wanted it that way. Because for the lady, she only need to be tired for one day.

If ROM is a separate day (usually it is), then you gotta find a new dress and wake up early to do the makeup/hair. Also if you have some friends or relatives over, you gotta buy them lunch (not that you have to, but it is just common courtesy for their time to attend).

If ROM is on the same day, more tiring but save some hassle. Still have to wake up early for makeup, maybe can save some work, can just wear your wedding dress or the same gown/dress you wore in the morning.

ROM usually is very fast. The official will read some stuff, then I do, you do. Put the ring on. Done. Most cases it takes a longer while because everyone wants to take a photo with the bride and groom inside the "swearing" room.
If you do ROM and tea ceremony right after, no need for the relatives to take photo with you during the ROM, you can tell them to wait until tea ceremony for you two to take photo with them right after serving them their tea. Everyone gets their photo. Happy days. Dinner starts on time. You two can go home and rest earlier too.


For me, I did my ROM separately, just a day before the first MCO lockdown hits.
Didn't manage to do dinner since we postponed until we got tired and the mood is no longer there. When the MCO loosen a bit, we just did the tea ceremony with some immediate family members and called it a day. Both families were okay without doing the dinner but tea ceremony is a must. For ancestors to "acknowledge" our union.

Phew, saved a lot from not doing the wedding dinner, haha.

Thank you for the information, appreciate it. Now I'm more assured to get things done all in a single day be it extra tiring. Speaking of the dresses, make up, hairdo, ya only need to do it once.

For dinner, I thought of only having own immediate family members, but I yet to discuss with my fiance regarding this matter. It'll be always the old folks' issues when come to this. If they want to invite the whole village of their friends and far relatives, I think I'll propose to do it at another date, and let them do the arrangement instead. I'll collaborate. Lol.