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 GF anger issues, 7 years relatioship

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Takudan
post Oct 17 2021, 03:19 AM

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From: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia


QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
"I AM A GIRL MA..YOU GO FIND EVERYWHERE DE GIRL ALSO IS SAME DE LA !"
There was once I got tired of her cibai attitude that i want to break up with her.
At the beginning she still thinks I am playing with her....but when she realized I was serious , she started to cry. And even came to find me.
I straight told her that I kenot tahan her princess sickness and her cibai anger problems...little little things will suddenly meletup like a time bomb.  ranting.gif  ranting.gif

We drifted apart for more that a week  , then she approached me again...and somehow at that particular moment I felt that she really learnt her lesson.
She said she realized her mistake and will change herself to become a new person. So I forgave her and decided to give her a 2nd chance.  doh.gif ( I am hati lembik )  doh.gif
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She's justifying her own (bad) attitude by assuming all girls are like that, well surprise surprise, not all girls are like that, and 2 wrongs won't make 1 right anyway.
It's good that recognised her problems and promised to try to fix herself, and guessing from how you lasted another 3-4 years, she was doing okayish then...

QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
When I say small matters , I mean really really remeh stuffs...
Example :
1. When come back from work , I didn't pour a cup of water for her.
2. Morning no cook breakfast for her to eat.

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I see she has a few problems here:
1. "Not pouring a cup of water for her" - for something so damn trivial, that she's pissed about it, it means that she is completely taking you for granted, to the point that you are slave for her life. She is not appreciating you and the relationship.
> Quick and dirty fix is to threaten to leave her again like you did on your 3rd year, but I reckon everytime you do this, there will be a crack in your relationship - she will become increasingly insecure and it may affect how she trusts you.
>> So instead of that... I'd recommend sitting down to talk to her -- very cliched and boring yes, but it's really the most peaceful way to work things out. Make it a point to thank each other for the little things you do for each other. Make it a nightly talk where you wrap up your day with a report to each other, think about what she has done for you, and for her, what you did for her. If there's nothing to talk about, then it's either one is not doing enough, or the other is not thinking hard enough. For you both to be living under the same roof, even the simplest chore is something one can appreciate.

2. "Morning no cook breakfast" - she's not understanding your situation, and isn't being flexible enough about it. Not everything revolves around her. You may have stuff to do or you may not feel like it even, to cook something. Sure, she can get hangry for a bit, but I don't think it should be something for her to shout at you. Just grab delivery something la apa susah?

QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 16 2021, 08:30 PM)
SCOLD ME STUPID SOMEMORE IN FRONT OF HER MOTHER !  ranting.gif
" 蠢到死 "

I dulan just diam diam don't want bird her....since she in her mum's home....Me scolding her back sure will make me look like the bad guy instead.
Damn fed up with my GF cibai attitude.

Sifus.....I am really confused now...Is it really my fault ????
Are all girls really like that ?
I thought relationship should have mutual respect for each other !!!!!
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3. Calling names and scolding in the public is very humiliating, for herself actually. You're "part of her" as her partner, and if she can't even treat you a little better than that, she's just showing herself to the world that
i) she cannot control her emotions
ii) she's rude
iii) she's inconsiderate and disrespectful

I can't tell you if it's your fault in any of your situation, but what you feel as a result of her actions is not something to brush aside and both should talk and do something about it. if you're really that stupid that she cannot take it, then do her a favour and leave lor. But if she's gonna cry about it (again), then clearly, her anger management hasn't gotten any better...

Ask her la, she wanna marry a slave or a decent human being? You can strive to be a better decent human being for her where you both care for each other, but you cannot degrade yourself to her lowly slave where everything is all about her and her alone.
Takudan
post Oct 19 2021, 11:42 AM

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Joined: Jun 2011
From: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia


QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
At this point, I really want to maintain our relationship because to get to this point in life takes a damn lot of efforts and sacrifices...

But seems like I am hurting myself inside while my GF just treat everything like normal... Not knowing how she has hurt me.

Damn man... Last night I an beginning to have some suicidal thoughts d...
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Imagine yourself single for life, or stuck with this explosive lady, which lifestyle would you prefer?
One, you'll feel lonely sometimes but you're at peace.
Or, you'll probably have some fun sometimes, but other than that you're trapped and suffocated, even suicidal as you said.

...Is the relationship worth maintaining after all?

I'd say give yourself one last chance to save the relationship. To calm both sides of your brain:
1) you want to save the relationship
2) you want to save your sanity
Give a time limit or a condition on when to call it quits or continue. You can choose to tell her or not, whatever you feel is better for the relationship or yourself. On one hand, telling her lets her know the severity of this issue and how serious you are. On the other, it sows seeds of insecurity as you put the relationship on the line (again), or that it allows her to "fake" her change for a short period of time again to give you false hope.

Comes what may, you know you've tried your best and you will have no regrets.

QUOTE(6inchjj @ Oct 17 2021, 03:24 PM)
"I always tried to be kind to everybody... What did I do to deserve this? "
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You can answer that better yourself -- have you wronged her to deserve such treatment? While she may be the major problem, you can also reflect upon yourself to find out if there's anything you can improve for next time.

 

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