Sounds like you need marriage teamwork counselling.
For starters,in a marriage all money earned belongs to both and therefore should be managed with mutual understanding and agreement .

Presently, looks like you do your own. i do mine.

You need to plan your finances TOGETHER.
By separating your finances to each other, you are already putting a knive to your relationship.

And why do you need to do that?
The philosophy of a marriage to share EVERYTHING together in trust and faith.

So why do you need to separate your finances?

Obviously not been married?
Would i dare write such if i have not experience the marriage journey? Your speed and lack of judgement makes you look foolish.

Of course, pure idealism does not happen 100%. However, If you start with an idealism of division, there is every possibility of separation.
If you start with an idealism of trust and faith in each other, you may have a better possibility of the journey.

Who says that both has to have the same EVERYTHING?
This shows your lack of understanding of marriage teamwork. Does a team think exacty the same as individuals?

No. Neither does a husband and a wife. But that does not stop this team to work to agreed goals. Do you understand why the above situation by the OP is happenning?

It's because they have not shared in the goals of the family finances!