You're not an asshole but if you earn 30k I believe a little bit wont hurt. Benefit outweighs the risk.

You make 30k which is quite a hefty amount, it's no harm opening another fund for you to put some money into so that your wife can enjoy a little.

NTA, but you do love your wife and you also want her to be happy right ? Bagi chance la

Maybe she cannot 'see' the investment part you are doing. The money with her is more secured.

Ask her why she need so much ? Can bincang what.

You already had your answer in mind from the way you posted your topic. I personally feel that if you are not willing and do not trust your wife that you can give her your full RM30k per month every month, and then you gives you back whatever you think you deserve (she literally becomes the finance minister of the house), then I don't think both of you trust each other

Her upbringing issue, .....similar like my spouse. Luckily she dont demand but pretend nothing happen at counter ! So I avoid going shopping ... lol

Based on what youre saying, I kinda get why you're reluctant and a part of me wants to say kudos for staying your ground and Mrs shouldnt be listening to her friends, these things will only ever make things worse.

But none of us here really know you or your wife to give a piece of fair advice. But being married to your wife, Im sure to some degree you understand your wife and the things that influence her. So give it time and then talk to her about it, hopefully one that doesn't end with an argument.

If that calm reasonable heart to heart talk does not bring a favorable conclusion then, by the obvious, you would have to decide if some money is worth more than your relationship/family.

Also, I could only assume you child is still a baby given the milk and diapers, so maybe you still go easy on saving up for his education. Being prudent for the future is great and all but sometimes "right now" is more important.

She washed ur underwear n clothes n give birth a son, okay 5k is reasonable can consider.

What she just did was to compare you to some irrelevant strangers out there, and that is toxic, just like how you should not compare your kids to other kids who score better, and say why can't you do the same. This might be one of the reasons you're upset, and I think she should know what she said has hurt you. But again, this is a one sided story from you, so I hope you keep an open mind that you may have also said something that hurt her.
The amount of money is very relative to every person, every amount may mean differently. For example....
To me, I earn way less so 5k a month is A LOT, but 500 is acceptable. To her (my guess), you earning 30k is a whole lot, 5k should be easy money.
To you (my guess), 5k to "waste" is too much, because there isn't enough to spare after all the expenditures.

So I think what's missing is a breakdown of both of your expenditures.
You need to justify to her where all that money you have is going, and what's a comfortable amount you can give to her.
She needs to tell you why she wants that amount, for what, and how is she is currently spending her own money.
Both have to be transparent and open to each other's view. I understand why you say you don't expect her to contribute to the family expenditures at all, considering the fact that you make a whole lot more. But it sounds to me that at the same time, you sound a little condescending to your wife, that she is totally not spending at all for the family and her own 5k goes to branded bags. Sorry if my assumption of your thoughts came completely off, but if it has any hint of truth at all, then you ought to learn how she's spending, so that you can have a peace of mind that the amount you are about to give is an amount you're okay with going down the drain. But then again, I believe that financial planning is a must for everyone and I'm not talking about investment; I mean the awareness of your money inflow and outflow, so that you can make better decisions and plan for the rainy days.

All that said, allow me to shamelessly introduce to you my annual budget tracker spreadsheet check it out in my signature, if you'd like to try it out with your wife

Honestly speaking, your wife is vulnerable to other men who can splurge money.

I am not trying to frighten you but you need to do something and not brushed it aside.

Both of you are on the same team.
I'm not sure if you're trolling or not, if it's copy paste from another place, all of the message log should have the same format [12/06, xx:xx] : , however some have ":" and some don't. But lets give you the benefit of the doubt.

Financials goals, same life goals are important in a marriage.
I wonder how come this was not talked / surveyed before marriage.

I suggest you can give some money to cover daily meals / spendings that can be in a joint account.
If can teach her to do budgeting will be better.

In the end if fight and both unable to see eye to eye and later divorced? You have to pay alimony also same.

LMAO wait this came from her?? Wow I'm surprised she's willing to equate herself to hooker to get free money from you.
Did I misunderstand something? Why does she want to degrade your relationship into a business transaction? If she mean by discussing it, turns it into a business, then I have to question how you guys have been carrying on with your marriage for so many years without a single financial discussion.......

If you don't mind me asking which part of this convo is hers? This plus the cc part and justification for spending is indicative of something serious and deep rooted.

What is the notion of marriage to her ? Is it just partnership ?

These seems to be a bit odd, what's the context here ?

[12/06, 12:00]  Cos it just be a biz transaction
[12/06, 12:00] No different from a hooker and her client

Sigh

You got to have a heart to hear talk. What you make is beside the point, and from what you say you're more than pulling your weight in the family. I fear you give in its never gonna be enough. Elephant in the room is frankly her attitude . Shes not acting like an adult and a wife and mother

Good luck 🤞

From all the replied I see from you above...
I think you are not ready for a family.. better divorce...give the lady more freedom...

KEK... You priotize your kids which will leave you when they reach 20 instead of your wife which will stay with you till death do apart.

How's the sex life?

No, seriously.

Hugs bro.

I don't know what advice to give you.

My own marriage also not doing so good, talked about divorce a few times.

Most importantly, take good care of yourself bro.

You're capable for it. I think 1-2k a month is a reasonable amount from what you are earning.

Your woman is your life partner. For LIFE. Not just your baby machine or maid.