Hi Guys, so yea I had a failed relationship last year, was betrayed. Not going into the story though.
I just started trying all the various dating apps late last year.
Surprisingly an average guy like me with no fancy profile or fancy photos or fancy pickup lines, I still get quite a numbers of matches. It may sounds very less to some of u. HAHA

At first I was just chatting with them, as an introvert myself I don’t really knows how to ask them out.
But still, so far I already went out with 2 girls. 1 from Bumble, went for a dinner and a walk in the park, but we just doesn’t click.

The second one was from Tantan, already went for 3 dates so far. We spoke a lot, she shared a lot with me. I read quite a lot in cupid corner, so tried some physical touching, she didn’t show discomfort or rejection.
We even went out yesterday, at first I thought it will be awkward but its still fine, just a regular date, not treating it as a valentine day.

I know it’s positive for me, I will want to get to know her more, spend more time with her. But tbh, I don’t know does she think the same, who knows she is just bored and went out with me just to kill her boredom.
I don’t hold much hope, as there is many more matches, although it is tiring to go through the same thing from the start.

LOL enough story, my question here would be, normally how long will you guys went out/date before its time to confess?
And normally how long will you guys chat before asking them out?

my quickest date is match on same day 3 or 4 hours later go out together.

Dont need to confess, just hang out and have fun
If she press on relationship too quick, either she's needy or she's getting old want a fat cash cow to extract.

Same day? So fast?

Sometimes I just don't know how to ask for their contacts to chat in whatsapp, and asking them out is even tougher for me.

If doesn't confess then how do we even know if we would like to be together? Just hang out have fun and let it happen naturally?

if she asks you question, or she writes she's busy or seldom in that application, just ask her whatsapp
yes, dont need to confess
that you way you can protect yourself if she didn't see you sexually or romantically, avoid that awkward situation
use your gaze, touches and words to seduce her.

just have fun and let it happen naturally. you can tell if she is paying attention to you more if she is interested in you, or less if she isn't.
its not wrong to have more matches but if your heart are not fixed on someone, you will keep having this mindset of having a 'backup plan' if things doesn't go as expected.

Dating apps can find love, just be careful of scams and catfish

My friend got married with girl he found on dating apps. Not impossible but very rare

Phone number is easy to get

Ask her to play a math game with you

1st ask any simple math Q, 3x 12 bla bla bla

2nd Question just randomly drop 3 x 'your phone number' then you got it. Goodluck

i changed my photo
surprisingly these few days CMB gave me higher matching rate, where tinder paid version has slow down a lot.
it really depends

Just go slow dude

Dont jump the gun 2 much hahahaha

Since she already fixed her eye on you

Assurance is there already

how to be loyal if its not even relationship yet?
unless you commit yourself to wait for the opposite sex.

many that i know actually resorted to dating apps for a life partner and it works for them.

My experience - I dated quite a bunch of girls from dating apps.
Usually i chatted with them for like 3 days to 1 week before asking them out.
Things to note: IF they agree to go out with you, then you already have high chance.
Surprisingly, most girls don't mind to have fun if you can get close and click with them. They know what they sign up for when they use dating apps.
I never confess, things will flow naturally.

There are many fishes out there. Dont be afraid to fail. There is always the next one out there.

waitaminute i heard from ppl tht Tantan is the lowest grade of dating app (even lower that tinder) is that true?

Anyone experience a girl from Dating FB asking for sexcam at wechat and refuse to come out meet? she keep saying want to satisfy her by showing my D and say if i dint show at video call with her showing her's then we dont meet. and i notice is it possible for her to give fake video while during live video call?

obviously scam

yea that what i thought too

tantan in 2018, 2019 is best years for me
since 2020 already started china scammers
i have already invited 54 girls out (solely from tantan)

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Apr 13 2021, 12:15 AM

dont be sohai give her your dick pic
later she can crop your head and paste it onto a random video where you masterbate
then con you for money

Dem. I started in 2020. Yeah scammers more than date

have to agree that when the app first released in malaysia, it was nice and good. all quite genuine. but thereafter, lols.... scammers aare everywhere!

complaining is useless
either you beat the game or become an incel
that's your choice being as a man.

yea that what i thought so.. and nowadays ppl are so good at video editing and setting... can even crop the video and use fake female voice while talking..

thanks for the insight and advice.

This post has been edited by edisoner90: Apr 14 2021, 09:30 AM

just take it slowly and steadily.

try to understand what she looking in a relationship, maybe from there you could understand her more whether really if u both looking at the same direction.

I took super long time… I mean at least more chit chat instead of fast moving relationship
So I could find the right one steadily

confess yesterday, chat with her for almost 3 month, met once only due to mco and those sh*t, looks like i'm the only one who like but not her.

guess i will start all over again, sometime it gave me a thought to stop trying, and stay single in near future. lol, kinda miserable but life goes on.

its time to get back on track and focus on other matter

i met 3 different females yesterday, was 4 females few years ago in one day. If you do this semi pro, you knew what im feeling...

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Sep 13 2021, 01:39 PM

Parking here...hehe

but sometimes full of scams profiles, swipe till lazy. haha!

wow.

brunch til dinner lah like that..

wallet ok mou.. haha

some if they arrive earlier, they pay for themselves
some if they are not nice people and disrespectful, 15-30 mins chat, say goodbye
some if we vibe really well, we could spend more than 2 hours in the dining place

it just depends.

no doubt, its a good way to know more of friends!

hope u found dat one..

I got Tinder woman invited me to her condo for coffee. Achievement unlocked.

From The Star paper today...thoughts?

Dear Thelma,

I am 31 years old, have an amazing job and decent looks and mannerisms, but have been struggling to find a partner through online dating. Throughout the past year, I have been able to land dates with women more than 20 times. But all of the dates have a common pattern – they usually start off well but fizzle out by the second date or third date. Upon post-mortem discussion with the women who rejected me, they often say the same thing: “You are an amazing person but I just don’t feel the spark with you.”

I am too tired to go out there and try again, as I am tired of getting hurt repeatedly. I realised my approach of genuinely trying to make efforts and plans with a woman or even initiating calls and texts are perceived as “coming on too strong” and this frustrates me as well. I’ve even minimised my texts, calls and efforts but to no avail as it subsequently prevents me from establishing an emotional connection with someone.

So, should I just give up the pursuit of finding love or a partner? I have resorted to many self-help books to tweak my approach with women. I have gotten some success from it but along the way I’ve realised I have lost a big part of me throughout the journey as it requires a lot of alterations to my personality and, frankly, it is really exhausting to pretend to be someone I am not.

I am not trying to victimise myself but having gone out with over 20 women and ending up getting rejected after a few weeks or months, what could possibly be wrong with me? I have gotten so used to rejection that I am numb to the outcome of dating and do not even look forward to the dates anymore.

So Thelma, please give me a suggestion to avoid this vicious cycle of repetition as I do want to find love and build a relationship with someone.

AX

met up with 5 different new females last week
monday - 1
thursday - 1
saturday - 2
sunday - 1

2nd date, on yesterday, she's a nurse.

and who says online dating doesn't work?
and im just average looking.

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Oct 6 2021, 10:20 AM

dating app is just a tool to extend social circle, the remaining process is indifferent
he is actually on the right track, whereby moving online dating to offline - Christina Wallace
to gauge if the 'feeling' is right, so move forward if it doesn't work out

self-evaluation and learning are commendable
but is he changing his behaviour to increase the chance of success or whether he genuinely understands the feeling of his date?

he should probably do the opposite way - Fear of rejection
common principle, would he rather try and fail or fail to try

give your best but don't hold high hope in the beginning
incompatibility is neither party's fault

Gone out with only 20 women and already whining, this stupid fellow. Try talk to someone who gone out over 200...500...maybe over 1000 dates with different females.

Clearly he didnt learnt his lessons.

hello there..

wana ask..

which datin app got more genuine average amoi ?

wana start back dating app since bukakke hahaha...

i met a teacher from facebook dating
i met a professional hoteliner, and cool lawyer from tinder
and yesterday i met a chill fine looking indian from coffee meet bagel

i guess it just depends on your luck too, sometimes.
the panel didnt matter, much.

Met a few girls from dating app.

A few tips would be:
Hot and cold interaction happens commonly, it takes two to tango. Gradually improve how to read the mood, keep yourself occupied with yourself interest outside online dating and swiping, she owes you nothing.

Found one that tick most of my boxes, i dropped all messages with other girls and paused the dating app for a time being (to have less distraction). Created genuine interest and being present after a couple of calls and messages. Went out date- she surprise me with gift , lucky i got gift as well.

End of the day is regulating own expectations and emotions, knowing what you want (whether its increasing date/bed count, meeting the one, direct sales/ property agent). Have your own self-worth.

And yes, I agree timing, luck and plays a role, if she is keen, progress is easy.

which app u using bro?

facebook dating
bumble
coffee meet bagel
tinder
omi
instagram
wechat

instagram been toughest app, a lot of girls will not reply me
omi is 99% muslim
my first few malay asked out was actually from HAYAT, 19 year old and someone older from bahrain (middle east country)

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Oct 13 2021, 10:52 AM

there was one girl gifted me one box of moon cake on that first evening, we actually texted and sexting sometimes along the lockdown.
found out she's actually not my type fully, physically
but we still hung out for few times for dinner.

i mean u using all tis apps ?
then able to met up with 5 different new females in a week?

yes, but i think it had been 4 months lockdown
i had some numbers in my phone along with these apps

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Oct 13 2021, 11:34 AM

wow, really can do a review on dating apps already

so far which apps u prefer most?

in term of the quality of match, not fake profile, matching rate, etc.

Tantan
had the fakest profiles around (you will see their location put around china/too pretty picture)
but i think i asked out around 54 females so far, since 2018/2019 (best year of tantan)

Tinder
had some quality matches too, professional women and dancer for me recently
not necessarily crappy as most people thought tinder's reputation

Facebook dating
had some decent filipinas and indonesians too

CMB
hooked up 1 out of probably 13 females, might said this is more relationship app

Bumble
decent dates, hooked up with one expatriate recently

Conclusion: matching rate had been Tantan > Fb dating > Tinder > CMB > Bumble

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Oct 13 2021, 11:49 AM

They actually interested in going out rather than just looking for chat to kill time (which wastes our time)?

What is the age range of the dates u have? It's possible younger ones tend to be time waster while women past their teen maybe be more keen to go out, dunno, just my guess.

So far my experience with dating app has been subpar, plus need to deal with scammy profiles, too much hassle. I had more success randomly adding girls in fb and chat then up to get dates. Younger girls in dating app all look for top end males (which I don't consider myself one, I'm only above average), top end as in very tall those 180cm which is quite unreasonable for most men, and then buffed up body like super defined 6 packs.

girls i dated, age around 25, the oldest one i seen was in her 50s

a lot of them had too many chats, so they can be nonchalant not replying you at all, thats why its important to ask these girls out, asap

your bold sentence at the end can be incorrect, i had girls say they came out to see me because im direct im the most average looking guy you can see on the street.

I'm fairly okay in discerning when to ask out, once I think enough chat to know each other's basic details like food, university, some events, travels in the past, then I'll ask out.

But sometimes despite that (conversation also going very well) , they're still not ready and will reply your texts except the invitation, essentially dodging the invitation. Some will play hard to get a bit before agreeing.

Few days to a week normally is sufficient before running out of topic and kill the momentum, sometimes need more time than that to make her feel comfortable, you'll know when she's still quite happy to text you but not yet ready to go out but eventually will.

So what's your definition of Ask out quick?
And what's your physical attribute? Face, height, weight.

find girls who mirror your pace
find women who traveled abroad or busy with their work (professional woman)
this kind of woman dont like to waste time, they actually want someone who's direct and can be honest.

i dont have time to greet someone, every single day
i have other clients and girls to follow up, things to do.

i remember i asked this tantan malay johorean?
texted her, 2 hours later we met
eventually we met twice, nothing happen because i was slow and stupid.
that was the quickest.

it really depends on the girl's window, if her window is big, capitalize on the opportunity.

im below 5ft11 but not short, i believe this height is IDEAL for most girls

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Oct 13 2021, 01:40 PM

I'm somewhere between 170 and 175, this is just barely enough to be called a man, i can't imagine how's my life like if I'm below 170, girls refer that to midget or pikachu lmao.

Kindly provide some juicy stories for us all, I'll be your first audience / subscriber.

Looping in, Zoo Howl, Chobits

I had a male cousin who's just below 160
still can marry someone, but use another advantage lah

But height matter is true, i gone out with at least 5ft7 girl
Most of them say they want a taller guy than em.

Of course, there has to be something someone has to be good at, no height then perhaps money, if no money then perhaps he's godlike in doing conversations or jokes.

But in general, height is a make or break deal if you don't have other advantage to back you up, it's a cruel harsh world out there. My friend is short and got visible tummy, but scored a godlike beauty girl, and you guessed it, he's mega rich.

Come on man, where's stories

any good recommendation ?

Lots of dating apps and all need to pay

anyone use Bumble?
how is the review and please share your experience especially for guys

from what i know this platform was founded by former co-founder of Tinder, is very women centric although still not yet to the level of feminist

This post has been edited by dattebayo: Nov 7 2021, 12:31 PM

i hooked up with a few expat student and worker there,
overall its similar quality compared to CMB

it is more challenging than the rest of the platforms

you need to get ice breaking from women before you are allowed to type anything

which makes me wonder the % population of women in wanting a hookup in bumble platform compare to the rest

if your profile pic is decent, they will pm you anyway with hi
or they will just match you and chose not to respond, and disappear after 24 hours
any platform the females out there will keen for hookup
maybe its 20-30% overall. Other women are just looking for attention and no intention to meet up or looking for beta guy.

Tinder
Had the most matches, probably because it's the most popular app, but overall match quality was mixed. Some were great, some were dry, some never replied after matching, some just couldnt click

Facebook dating
It is bursting with fake chinese bots and immigrants. Still managed to match a handful of decent girls, but filtering through all the rubbish profiles got tiring

CMB
Quality of matches probably a bit better than Tinder, but a lot less. I hate the 7-day time limit for chats before it self-closes

Bumble
Even less matches than CMB. I also really hate the 24 hour time limit for girls to message first before automatically unmatching

OKC
I use it a lot less than the rest, mostly because simple filters like age need a paid subscription to use and most profiles arent interesting to me.

how about TanTan and Lunchclick?

Dated 2 vietmoi from fb dating and tinder respectively (legit one, not doing massage), different visually. Give her like 6/10. Cute, so so english, will apologize to you multiple times if something was wrong, different feel with local amoi and indonesian.

This post has been edited by -mystery-: Nov 20 2021, 04:34 PM

Didnt use them

wana ask.... anyone come across a match who has good english, and is a teacher ?? cause i try to stalk the person abit, and no such person found... In addition, i have met this kind of person before long ago, but different profile picture..... same occupation and teaching same subject.