have you tried contacting her recently?
you can ask for a refund, 1 month is considered too long (unless you're booking a car)
if she gives reasons for not refunding to you, then be prepared for a bad news

pre order is obviously taking a longer time than ready stock, thats why it call pre order. stock may from oversea.
normally there will be terms and condition to commit before a shopper willing to join.
seller should be able to give your updates on your order status (only conman you call it 'reason')

and under Trade Zone Helpdesk & Dispute Resolution Corner i can see alot of seller id run away with money being reported,but they dont get dispute tag. i think they should (though i understand this section is only to resolve dispute, but it should be a channel to 'catch' dispute too). 

my2 cents