I'm just a normal salaryman who have normal life. Married with no children. Decent income (can pay mortgage, car loan, bills, with savings end of month). 37 years old this year.

All my life I have confidence issues. Comparing to friends who are outspoken, more outgoing, they are now going places. Opening own business, meet many clients to cut business deals, provide training courses, giving talk..... but I'm just the same person (career wise) since 10 ago, because I don't have confidence to explore more.

Plus, I always get anxious going to interviews, attending meetings and all but during the session, most of the time I turned out fine. It's just prior the session, few hours, even few days before, I'm so worried that I might not do well. Even I know that I can get through it easily.

Will add more later. These are the only thing that I can think of right know. Sorry for the blog-style posts.

Why i see a duplicate of myself here. lol.

Same 37 years old married with no children and all the issues like successful friends, anxious to go interviews/meeting till kenot sleep well, public speaking, etc.

Its all in your mind bro. Don't keep looking what others have. Start thinking there are many ppl who dream of what u have.

Go meet more ppl so you will get used to it. Though you will still get anxious. Just don't mind so much how ppl look at you. No matter how good you are, there will always be haters.

Just be yourself. Filter out those friend who look down on you.

Many ppl are like this.
Don't worry. You are normal.

Thanks for the feedback. Yes, it is normal and I also understand but when thinking about it, I wonder what is holding me back from progressing?

Amedion, sorry I just talk your profile and check your topics, https://forum.lowyat.net/index.php?showtopic=3098833&hl= this for example, I once went to gym back in 2011 but stop going after 2 months because I feel inferior with other gym goers around me. I know they didn't even think about me but it's me who feel that way.

I would suggest do a PI test and find out your personality types and work on those strenghts there will always be introverts and extroverts ..

following this thread as im an in a similar dillema year of the pig !!

Its okay bro. Posting in forum is made public. Not consider stalking.

Depends on which gym you go. I don't bother looking at newbie at all even if they do it wrong, unless they start asking me. So don't mind what other ppl think of you. Just put on your favourite music and do your thing.

Yeah i understand very well how you feel even now i still think like that. Like if i post something in social media, how will ppl think. If i do this & that, will other ppl look down on me. So, i just do what i feel like doing only. Just be yourself can already bro. But don't la over-confident like many youngsters these day in tik-tok.

Guess are all pigs are the same? Sorry to muslim bros. Its chinese-zodiac or something like that.

Your situation seems perfectly normal to me. Some people fake it till they make it. Do not compare because as cliche as it sounds, there will always be someone else who is better than you. No worries!

I see myself the same way several years back. Don't be surprised that a lot of people are more introverted than they seem. It's work requirement for some people to appear more outgoing but really, they could be more passive than others see them as they are. Almost nobody would believe I'm actually quite the introvert. Work and social environment has 'forced' me to get out of the comfort zone and adapt.

Seems like what you're facing is more on anxiety issues if you're worried about things going downsouth. It's normal to worry about interviews because we tend to feel discomfort about the 'unknown' and especially when something isn't within our control. Recall what a senior of mine said long ago (and it helps):

Look at it this way. If you're not worried about something - it means you didn't care much for it. If you're worried (despite being well prepared), then it shows you care about the things you do.

Conclusion: do your due diligence at work and try to relax. Tackle things as they come

One more, you don't have to compare yourself with others. Are you content with your life now? Or you're seeking changes? What you 'see' on social media may not be the reflection of reality. People rarely share the struggle and harsh reality of life, and only display the rosy part of them.

Sharing 1 example of someone i personally know. On this person's social media is the glam life of flying, hotel stays, holidays and everything colourful. Behind this person's life is a lot of credit card debt, sleepless nights and depression - that most people don't know of.

Really now, if social media is part of the reason, consider doing 'social distancing' from it (pun intended ha!).

There's no need to feel inferior. Everyone starts somewhere. Just ignore the toxic ones and try getting to know some good folks at the gym.

Yes huhu in the gym it's most MYOB unless someone asks. Not everyone welcome advice or correction.

Honestly social media is such a headache so I've mostly cut down. Rarely check it, only when friends tag me, will receive notification and respond. Or occasionally when needed to ask opinion about something/ check news on pages followed. Otherwise just find that it doesn't add value. Having 1-on-1 conversation with others via WA or messenger gives a better connection imo.

This post has been edited by sweet_pez: Jun 15 2020, 12:38 PM

People always judge the book by its cover. Very normal. I'm skinny so ppl don't take my advise. They prefer to take advise from bigger guys. So usually i just keep quiet and do my thing.

Social media is a must for most business now. My personal one i just use occasionally to upload my business pics / vlog for gym / food to educate my friends. Not really into uploading what i own.

This made me thinking.


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Never compare yourself to anyone other than yourself!
Happiness starts from you, which results to the confidence you radiate.
Work on yourself silently, and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may be.
We're all on different paths, you'll eventually find your way

If you understand that, that's already a good thing. Many people have this problem, you need to learn to open up to people, to open up to yourself. Understand your strengths. Me what you don't like. But only if you really want to do it, not if someone told you to do it.

Dear all ,

What is the chance to get hire in Singapore at the age of 40? I feel like doing something out of my comfort zone (which is not very comfortable ) now but i m lack of confidence at this age. Do you think chance to get a job is high in Singapore ?

I got my confidence when I started to not to compare myself to other people, as long as I do the right thing and take care of me and mine, I'm alright.

I suggest that you get this book: ”Reinventing Your Life“ by Jeffrey Young & Janet Klosko. It'll help you to identify to source of the confidence issue, and provide concrete steps to undo it. It helped me a great deal.