Del

This post has been edited by drumstix: May 27 2022, 09:06 AM

i'd say calm your tits
she is just flirting to help boost up sales..
unless if she's cheating thousands miles away..

lu pls la, be single.. male like this spoil women to grow! in sales line all this normal.. not to go sleep! u take phone and go chat with alibaba supplier women.. they also entertaint u like this! bcz of wat? money! brader

You're just being insecure.

Buttering up to people is very normal in sales line. No sales = no job = no income. Some non-sales people are doing it in office too, it makes their work get prioritized over others. Overseas, you can go darling, baby & lovey. Over here in Malaysia it's usually sayang, darling or abam hensem. Plus, it's all just verbal over the phone. There are sales people that gotta entertain customers after office hours too.

The best partners are not the ones you gotta tie or chain down. The best partners are the one you've set free but they keep on flying back to you. In other words, focus your efforts into making yourself attractive. Not blocking away competitions & threats.

Will dump even b4 she realize it.

but using dear at conversation really normal
i cant believe u didnt receive any email start like
My dear customer

Morally wrong but good to attack bizness and opportunities.

You are in wrong section. Girl’s Club is only for girl. You should post this in the CC.

This was posted 3 months ago. I’m not sure if you’re still here or still dating the same girl. Anyway, might be useful for others. This is just my opinion.

Psychologically speaking, if she really do “intent” or “wanting” to flirt or become a two-timer form the bottom of her heart, she would not agreed without hesitation (like what you have mentioned). Since she is willingly and without hesitation showing you her phone, I believe you can trust that she did not cheat or lied to you. If not, I can only say that she’s a “perfect” actress.

Next... the phrase “my love”, “my dear” and “my darling” is quite common in the Europe. They even used it for strangers. I used to have a “pen-pal” (yes, I’m from “that” generation of people. I’m very old) from the Europe. They used the phrase, “my love” on the very first letter. If you watch YouTube, they used the phrase, “my love” to strangers. My European friends did that too. They use the phrase too lightly and they don’t really meant it. So... because your gf have been adapting or getting used into this culture, I think that it’s understandable. I don’t really think that it’s to flirt in order to get the sales. But “trying” to make the customers looks favorable towards you, she might wants to makes them seems closer and comfortable. For example, “Dear sir”, “to whom it may concern”, etc.. it seems very formal. When you want to make sales, you don’t want to have that gap with your customers. That’s why you always see sales person are always very friendly. Besides, when we get too close with a friend, your behavior or frequent speech will tends to get quite similar. Not sure if you notice about it.

I think it is about how much you have been adapting into that culture. And what is your limit to it. If you think you cant change the way your gf think, another way is to change yours. Actually all relationships are like that. No matter what situation it is. There is always 1 that must give in and not feel bad about it. Or else, don’t give in at all. You have to make yourself happy first before you can give or spread happiness to others.

I understand about your gf using the “European cultural phrases”. But.. she’s not handling the European customer (the divorcee that is trying to woo her in the past) in a correct way. The customer woo her in the past because he finds her attractive. I assume your gf rejected him. But that doesn’t means that the feelings about her being attractive to him will disappear immediately, while she keeps feeding him the “European cultural phrases”. I’m not sure how long is exactly “the past”. But I think now, she should stop using the phrase slowly. Not immediately. Because it might upset the client. During her conversation with the client, advise her to include msg like “wait, I’ll get back to you later. My bf just tripped”, “give me a minute, I’m in a call with my bf”, etc. The point is to feed the client your existence as a bf is very important and you guys are lovey-dovey. Eventually, the mature ones will back-off.

You’ll be surprised to see these millennials welcomed the European culture and adapting it very well. To you, it seems to understand that the phrases that you “think” are supposed to be exclusive are not nothing to them. My younger brother does not address his gf as dear or darling. He called her bitch while the gf called him bastard. =_= my cousin doesn’t address their other half ad my love or darling. They each have a nonsense nicknames. They said that “my love”, “my dear” and “my darling” are not exclusive enough. It’s too common and no story to it at all. The one and only nicknames or the special ones are only the one they created for themselves. As I said earlier, if you can’t change your gf’s perception, then change your. If you can’t even persuade yourself, how do you expect your gf to be persuaded by you.

Before you really want to check her phone again, (even though I don’t mind about showing/checking phones), have a deep conversation with her first. Don’t start off with “I don’t trust you, I need to check your phone”. Start of with something light. Then slowly drag into the main point. Unless she tells you to go straight to the point.

Actually there’s no right or wrong in your situation. It’s just different mindset. She thinks it’s alright and you don’t think it is. Then who needs to change? She promised that she will change. But you don’t trust her. Then? It won’t be solved. And never will be. Because trust brings a couple go further. Ask yourself, what does she needs to do in order for your to find back the same trust that you had for her before? Check her phone again? Then will you trust her again after that?

Good luck.

P/s: actually I’m not worried about you. IF your gf DID NOT cheat on you, losing your trust towards her would really hurt her so much.

look like make sense

Habis TS....

Most probably your gf is.... (1000 probability)

dear and darling to 2 different thing.

Why necro thread?

Anyway to clarify, "my dear" wasn't used as a starter in a letter as we normally would. It was used as a noun when replying a trivial question.

Example: My day is great, my dear. *kissing emoji*

u go coffee shop, u see those taukehso greets everyone,

eh lengchai.....

eh lenglui.......

one time, the coffeeshop taukeh greeted my auntie colleague as lenglui, i almost choked on my drink

I always answer them, because they call me lenglui, hahahaha

No chabor wants to be called Aunty la...even if they are aunties. You call any aunty lang lui...sure she will be happy.