Hi there, i always identify myself as 100% straight guy and has always in a relationship with women and only had sex with women. Lately, there is an Indonesian guy who operates a food stall at a restaurant that i frequently go not far from my house in his mid 20s whom i find is quite cute (mind you this is the first time i find people my own gender cute). Sometimes i find myself stare at him a lot but it doesnt bother me at all unless i attracted to him sexually. However, everytime im intoxicated i find myself having dirty thoughts about doing it with him. For this reason, i ought to stay clean and sober up to today. The gay thought still persist though not as much as when im intoxicated. I still frequently go to the restaurant just to steal glare at him and buy my daily cigarette pack.

I am not sure if i suddenly turned bisexual (i still like women) after seeing him or i actually have a gay desire that is hidden in me that i unknowingly knew. I was actually homophobic, used to despise lgbts, especially gays a lot which i find disgusting but it turned out i was probably one.