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 Q on in-laws situation (Updates), Updated.

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SUSBillCollector
post Nov 29 2019, 02:46 AM

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QUOTE(Liamness @ Nov 28 2019, 02:39 PM)
and folks, this is why being a self-made, self-independent person is and will always be the proper way to go..

I'm a firm believer that once you reach 18, you are on your own.. especially if you are a male.. family business and relatives be damned.. if they are drawing from family, the more mouths feeding on the nipple is going to drain the milk faster! I've seen it all too well.. friends who can't buy a house because their parents already used my friends names to get business or housing loans.. Multi-generational family staying under one roof.. cousins, brothers, sisters.. all a fucking mess and comparison/unfairness that I wonder what the hell are you putting yourself through all of that for..

Sure, you can depend on your parents for support starting off.. but eventually, you need to be weaning off your parents support. So they can use their peak working years to save up a nest for their own retirement.. That way, all sides won't be left in a shit storm like how TS family undergoing now..

I think this is the ONLY good thing to learn from Ang-mo. As they believe in independence once you turn 18.

the main issue with TS family stems from the FIL having multiple wives and multi-generational kids.. He is in his twilight years of life, but still have kids as young as 20 to support?? that is crazy..

The writing is on the wall. FIL is going to die penniless and he will drag families from all over down with him. My suggestion would be to cut ties ASAP. Don't even bother sorting this out.. Get your share and get the fuck out.
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You are spot on there.

He is 76.
1st wife :75
Children : 54, 47 and 44

2nd wife : 58
Children : 38 and 29

Mistress : Early 40s.
Child : Just turned 20 a few weeks ago.

Oh well he did believe his money would never run out and last more than 3 generations.




QUOTE(Liamness @ Nov 28 2019, 04:26 PM)


If you are like TS.. then that's just too bad.. you've got to know though that your FIL cannot be saved and maybe should consider to start feeding him junk food to put him into an early grave.
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In a weird way I do agree with you on this, keeps his misery at bay as well.
SUSBillCollector
post Nov 29 2019, 03:02 AM

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QUOTE(kluseng @ Nov 28 2019, 12:08 PM)
FIL has sacrificed a lot for his eldest daughter's education. He does not deserved to be cast out of her life as an enemy. What she can do to her own father she can also do to others close to her. She is what is called "damaged woman" with no pity or empathy for others. TS had better be careful.
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She isn't a bad woman. No doubt she does have a temper and some anger management issues but she isn't a bad person per say. A lot of it has to do with her suffering multiple miscarriages over the last 9 years.

She has some bitterness against the father, some of it stemmed from money where he made her take a loan for him and the promise to pay back never happened or it became a pay 1 month then 2 months never pay type of deal. She does believe this had something to do with why she found it difficult to find another job in the financial services industry after she lost her job earlier this year.

Finally one of the main reasons why she is angry at the father was earlier this year we were having a war and we basically saw no hope in any reconciliation. Her father pressured her to pass custody of our children to me which she did then immediately regretted it. That 6 weeks being kept away from our children and needing to fight back to see our children again basically made her the way she is now towards the father.

I did try to advise her to let it be and let bygones be bygones but I guess it isn't easy for her.
SUSBillCollector
post Nov 30 2019, 01:14 AM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Nov 29 2019, 09:08 AM)
I know this is slightly off topic but I have always wondered what made her change her mind in her previous relationship with the church guy and did a U-Turn? My understanding from reading other threads is that they were legally married for some period of time, long enough for you to met them twice at a grocery store but some thread mentions she only got together with him for like 1 week before coming back to beg to see her children. I am a bit confused regarding the timeline for this.

Was it that she came back to you due to the though of losing her children that ate away at her? Or was it because she found out she loves you the most? But pls allow me to say that I am happy both of you worked things out together and got back together again.
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No worries. Will answer it.

The confusion also stems from my own misunderstanding of the situation plus not paying attention to what she was saying 90% of the time during that time when we were at a cold war.

I was mostly overseas from Feb to May this year and we were in one of those cold wars which at that time I didn't really give a toss as I was pursuing something with one American woman.

She got to know the guy that was pursuing her in Jan when he started attending the same church. He wanted a relationship but some of her cell group members told her to refrain from relationships as she had not recovered from our last attempt at reconciliation and told her to pray about it.

In June when I spoke to her she said she was being pursued by someone and he was planning for them to have a church wedding and to start a family but the church had many requirements such as counselling, classes and mentoring because both of them were divorced. I thought they had bypassed the church requirements and had a civil registration but he wanted to have a church wedding and to go through with it but she did not have money to pay for the counselling and classes.

We bumped into each other at Publika in early June, I was heading out and they had just parked. She introduced me to him and I gave him a Donald Trump style handshake. We did not say much other than I told her she had not made arrangements as to how she was going to pay for the damage to the paintwork of the Renault I was then driving, she had vandalized it during one of our fights and scratched it front to rear and side to side as well as she broke one of the side mirrors. She told me she was still jobless therefore had no money to pay, he stepped in to pay until I told him it was a RM7,000 bill to which he told her no need to pay. I told them no worries I had the CCTV footage of her damaging the car and I would let the insurance company deal with it.

Late June, I was at Publika to buy steaks as we had a party the next day, they were there together with our children to buy stuff for a church gathering. I so happened to be there with the American woman and our children pulled their mum to where I was and her face turned black and sour. Our daughter asked me why I was holding the American woman's hand and not their mum's hand. He tried to hold her hand but she brushed it off. Our son then asked me whether I was buying steaks for them to eat and said they long time never eaten steak or fish everyday only can eat pork, chicken or sardine and eggs. I asked their mum if it was true. She kept quiet. I told him to go on his church function on his own, I took out RM500 from my wallet and gave it to my daughter to hold, I told their mum to go buy enough groceries for our children to eat and on my next visitation day I was coming to check the house to see what shit state it was in. He started telling me I cannot tell her what to do and I wasn't allowed to go to her house. I told him to stay out of it and to get on with his shopping. She told me they came in his car, I told her very well then, buy up to RM450 and use the RM50 to take a taxi home. He stomped off. I had a fantastic date except my phone kept ringing because some wasn't happy she saw me with another woman.

It was right after that that he told her in order for them to be able to pursue a relationship our children cannot live with her and that she should return the house she was living in. He met her parents to ask for their approval to start a relationship and made several promises. He then asked them for some help to convince her to send the children away. That was when her father pressured her to pass the children to me. He did not realize the consequences of him asking her to do so.

3 days after I picked them up to live with me, she called me to ask how they were. He found out she had called me and said she wasn't sincere with him and said no point in having a relationship if she kept contacting me as he wanted her to have zero contact with me. She told him it wasn't going to work at that point in time.

As for why she came back? Most women who had been close to her children can never give them up easily. There were a few incidents that ate into her with regard to losing them, she was stalking my FB, there were several videos of our son sitting on that American woman's lap doing stuff from making cookies to her feeding him cake and the one that got her the most were that of them hugging or kissing. She told me that wasn't allowed, I told her she gave them up someone has to give him the motherly affection he needs. The next incident that ate into her was the school contacted her and asked why our daughter had been absent, it was then that she realized I had changed their school, she asked me why I had done it as that was something she would never had agreed, I told her I no longer needed her agreement. The final one that drove her crazy, her younger sister works for me, at that time she wasn't on talking terms with the family, I brought them to work, she took several selfies including one of our kids kissing both her cheeks and then sent it to her with a message something along the lines "Bet it is something you want but can no longer do." That one was quite brutal because she also took them out on 2 outings and purposely took plenty of photos and videos and tagged the elder sister. Elder sister messaged her the younger sister and told her she was going to kill her if she posted another such photo or video.

When I allowed her to see the children 6 weeks later, she never left the condo for 5 days and on the 6th she went away for an hour to get a bag of clothes and toiletries, that's when she said she had come back to reclaim her family to make it whole again and she could only have 1 husband and his name was written on her back. I told her show me she can be a good and the best mum for our children and I would consider taking her back.
SUSBillCollector
post Nov 30 2019, 01:25 AM

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QUOTE(hksgmy @ Nov 29 2019, 07:44 AM)
Anger leads to hate…hate leads to suffering. So saith Master Yoda in the Phantom Menace.

The path to recovery starts with the act of forgiveness.

Karma is a bitch that WILL come back to bite her in the arse. Don’t forget, she has children of her own.
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I do try to get her to forgive and let the bygones be bygones but in the end it is easier said than done.

SUSBillCollector
post Nov 30 2019, 02:43 AM

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QUOTE(kluseng @ Nov 29 2019, 07:32 AM)

How many people have benefited from FIL when he was younger and earning a good income? All 3 of his wives have properties in their name or occupied by them. He probably paid or contributed to his children's education.
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When he had plenty of disposable money?

1st wife : She wasn't given a lot as he did not have much money while the father was still alive. House was given to her to live but not ownership of it.
The 3 children : All were educated to Form 5.

2nd wife : She probably enjoyed a lot of his money as he used to dote on her a lot. Except as he got into troubles he took away the most from her also. In the end was left with 1 condo in Desa Parkcity which is now in bad shape also.

1st child : He paid for her undergrad. Think it cost around RM40-60,000 as it is a UoL LL.B (External) doubt it cost a lot.
After that he "paid" for her 2 Masters in London. Cost RM380,000 over 4 years.

2nd child : UTAR - paid entirely by the 1st child + her husband aka me.

Mistress : No idea what she receives but MIL believes she was given at least RM100,000 worth of stuff plus use of the condo.
Child : Entirely supported by the mother as he never gave her anything.

MIL believes he has cheated on her at bare minimum upwards of 15 times with 15 different women. Those women were the luckiest of the bunch as most likely they were given lots of cash or gifts that they did not need to return.

Definitely a lousy father but it would be wrong to say he didn't do any good.

His father left him and his 2 brothers 2 factories and plenty of properties.

Both those factories provided plenty of employment to a lot of his nephews and nieces. Alas many of them were paid to do nothing.

His 2 brothers always says the person that benefited the most off him isn't any of them but a certain 'vulture' and not because he gave money but he offered plenty of good deals and plenty of useful and high value contacts which was milked but somehow the 'vulture' knew how to disappear when it came time to 'pay' laugh.gif
SUSBillCollector
post Nov 30 2019, 12:29 PM

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-Updated-.

This post has been edited by BillCollector: Jan 23 2020, 02:23 AM
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 23 2020, 02:22 AM

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Some updates to this :-

We been in Guilin, Lijiang, Yangshuo and Shanghai. I am still trying to wake up to the reality of how life turned out, I wouldn't have imagined 6 months ago I'd be back with my wife or going on holidays with her as just a year ago we were in the midst of the worst wars we've been through. I think I definitely had enough of China for a lifetime but sadly will have to return again very soon.

It was supposed to be a holiday trip but it became a business trip and ended up working between Xmas and New Years day...... not happy that that happened but at least it means we could come home sooner, there is only so many yang chow fried rice I could eat.

During our holiday and after we returned some interesting things happened.

1.) FIL made a slight recovery. He can move both hands but remains bedridden. Also seem more communicative but in a foul mood most of the time. He is refusing to do any PT but MIL brings him for TCM treatments. He only keeps calling me "vulture" and nothing else the times I saw him.

2.) FIL communicated to the MIL he doesn't want to die in a nursing home and would rather die at home. MIL tried to bring him home to our house but hit a dead end, instead she moved out of our house and rented a 1-storey terrace house near Tg Malim to be close to one of her sisters and checked him out of the nursing home, she did this without consulting anyone which drew the ire of both her daughters and also the 3 stooges of Team B.

3.) FIL's company that owns the piece of land is being liquidated. Plenty of unpaid creditors including IRB and the land office as well as local council. His 2nd brother is taking care of it and currently at a dead end as someone needs to cough up RM400,000 before the land could transfer, thankfully his brother has taken charge of the company and dealing with the creditors. The land remains part chicken farm, part lorry parking and a small part being used to plant chilli.

4.) SIL has decided she won't be forgiving her father, she decided that much of her life is fucked up because of his bad choices and decisions, she is still somewhat bitter she did not get to be educated overseas because the father squandered all the family wealth. She is also upset that she was made to work for free and essentially wasted much of her prime years doing stuff for the old man and not being paid for it. She isn't on talking terms with her mother either, something to do with her now having a Chindian bf, she does have a thing for mixed race men, he is a nice guy does treat her well but her mother doesn't like him due to race and religion issues. She told the mother she didn't want a share in her condo and to sell it off as she no longer wanted anything that came from her father. She still works for me and mostly lives on site as she feels most safe and secure there.

5.) MIL and wife are also no longer on talking terms. Mainly due to (2.) and some monetary dispute. MIL told wife reason she does not want the father back in our house is because he is a poor man and nothing to leave behind for her, wife told MIL she didn't need or want anything from them as her husband provides her with everything she needs or wants and regrets the years she tried to help them as it proved to be a waste of time and good money. Wife then told MIL to manage her own condo and to stop relying on me to do stuff for her unless she wanted to pay and even if I did not ask for any payment she still needed to pay. The final reason that caused the cold war is MIL found out wife is carrying a boy and a girl, wife told her mother both of them will be named the same way as our son, her mother requested that the boy follow her family name so the father can have his wish come true. Wife told her mother to forget it as it wasn't happening.

6.) Team B was given the option to buy up the house they were living in for RM550,000 well below market value on an as is where is basis, they agreed then they changed their as they believe their father doesn't have a will. They will be disappointed as their father does have a will and everything goes to my MIL. The house remains empty and locked up. None of them have visited the old man either at the nursing home or at his new abode. MIL did tell me before the start of the cold war that she will sell it as it will cost too much money to upkeep.

7.) The girl in Team C was given the option to buy up the condo for RM310,000 and her stepfather counter-offered RM250,000 for it which was accepted on the basis that it would be in her name only. They paid cash for it. She decided she will see her biological father and saw him once at the nursing home then decided never to see him again, when I asked why she simply said she only had bad vibes from him and preferred to not know who he is and said she did not want to have anything further to do with him. Money was given to MIL who is using it to take care of FIL. MIL did repay every single sen to the old lady from Team B and did say she'd like to see the old man but he is too far away and none of her children are willing to take her.

8.) Wife decided she will forgive her father and move on from the incidences that happened over the last 12 years because of him. She went to visit him before he was moved out of the nursing home unfortunately he did not want to see her and she left because he started losing his head. She hasn't gone back again as the pregnancy is starting to wear her down and she doesn't want to do any far away trips. Myself, I've long decided to forgive and forget, also during the last 12 years though for the most part he was an asshole with a profligacy problem he did help me along the way, he introduced several contacts and sent some businesses my way, many of which I earned fairly good money off, then he also introduced me to several politicians and civil servants that proved to be very profitable and finally he also introduced me to one circle of new friends who ganged up to speculate on property as well as stocks, these are people that were influential enough that before a project was launched they could go select all the nice units or the entire block if that was what we wanted. Oh those contacts lead me to a very unusual addiction and obsession, which was money and making more money. However the more money I made the less willing I became to share it, in the beginning when I made RM10,000 from one of his contacts I'd take RM4,000 to save it and give the wife RM6,000 and would tell her to give some to her parents, I would even tell her if I knew they were a bit tight to give them everything as next month more money will come to us. However when my share of the profits started reaching RM50-100,000 I started finding it difficult to part with RM1,000 and stopped telling the wife how much I made off those deals, till today am quite surprised despite how much money in my bank accounts we were having couple fights over money at that time. I guess in hindsight I should be thankful to all of them and their money troubles, I was about to do one of my largest ever speculative purchase, I was going to go all in with that group to do a syndicated purchase of an entire block, wife said she knew how much money I been making off her father's contacts and it was time to pay tribute by rescuing their house, she made it very clear either buy up that house or if they lose it she was bringing both her parents to live in our house. In the end I bought up their house and it meant not being able to go through with the syndicated whole block purchase, that whole exercise proved to be a blessing in disguise because when the project had a VP auction units were showing up cheaper than the launching price and you could now fetch one up to 1/3 off the launch price, I'd be in deep shit now had I gone ahead. I guess in a way I should be thankful he created all the wars over the last 12 years especially the major war this time last year as without that war my wife and me won't be together today and our eldest probably won't be studying at the school she is today.

9.) Wife and SIL are on good terms. They both decided to bury the hatchet and move on from the past. They both decided to get their mother to manage the condo herself as they didn't want to have anything to do with it, told her if she can't manage it then to sell it off.

10.) MIL and me are not talking to each other. MIL disagreed that she needed wife's permission to speak to me and said I shouldn't have spoilt her till she is the way she is now. She views it that I'm only on wife's side and won't listen to any other side. Oh well, I told her I don't want to be like her husband and I am in a position where I need to act in her best interests first.

And lurkingaround you asked what I would be doing for CNY, the answer is we won't be doing anything at all other than on the eve our own family lunch then we would check in to a 5* hotel in the KLCC area. We don't plan on doing anything as wife is at war with more than just her mother and I am at war with my mother and her side of the family, can't bring myself to fake smile among them.



SUSBillCollector
post Jan 24 2020, 05:05 AM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Nov 30 2019, 09:59 AM)
You have 2 rude and selfish kids who offended the feelings of your American gf and your then ex-wife's bf. In your selfish ego, you condoned and approved the rude behaviour of your 2 kids. Your kids may turn out to be like the spoiled brat Michael Fay. Maybe you should do something about your selfish ego and your 2 rude/inconsiderate and selfish kids.

"Bapa borek, anak rintik" or "Like father, like son/daughter".?
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The American lady wasn't offended, she found them cute and took pity on them.

Wasn't too bothered with the other fellows' feelings but ermm if you go through the transcript of what happened there you'd realize it wasn't them or me that offended him intentionally.

Transcripts of what happened :-

Taken from my soon to be launched dictaphone app. Some parts been ommited due to privacy reasons.

Pardon the swearing.

Things went along the lines of :-

D = Daughter.
S = Son.
AGf = Then American GF.
W = Then ex-wife.
H= Guy who was after the then ex.

Incident at the car park :-

» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


2nd incident.


» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 24 2020, 05:07 AM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 23 2020, 10:28 AM)
Wow.! ....... So many things happened with your MIL in just one month. At least  you no longer have to suffer the garlic smell from your MIL's cooking.
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I'd have preferred a different outcome.

Was hoping she'd stay and help us be on the lookout for our new maid and also to help out after birth. Oh well I guess I was expecting too much?

QUOTE(V429 @ Jan 23 2020, 10:53 AM)
Surprising turn of events.

1.Didnt know FIL actually helped you in business. Always sounded like he have problem with you not being 'pure chinese' thus never ever gave you any form of help or assistance.

2.MIL's decision to pay back old lady at Team B and also to take back FIL, but then again maybe at her age, people slowly learn to '看开' and not focus too much on the bad stuff.
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» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 24 2020, 05:51 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 23 2020, 10:59 AM)
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https://forum.lowyat.net/topic/4895297 - If you are a politician. What will you do?, Politics and Economy. (Chat) - post #19
= TS wants Malaysia to be like USA.
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By his own words, TS evidently has a selfish White ego and also lacks empathy for the poor folks who have to ride motorbikes. .
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Motorcycles release more pollutants than a big V8 engined SUV or pickup truck. They should be banned and that is in addition to them being a nuisance too.
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post Jan 25 2020, 01:16 AM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 24 2020, 07:58 PM)
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https://cilisos.my/which-is-more-environmen...ai-or-a-hybrid/ - Will reducing Kap Chais really reduce pollution in KL? We investigate. - Wu Zhen Tan — 19/01/2017
https://www.thestar.com.my/metro/community/...-be-left-with-n -  In defence of the kapchai - Tuesday, 17 Jan 2017

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P S - USA and Europe have very few low-end kapchais = they have mostly inefficient high-end big bikes and big scooters.
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https://www.greencarreports.com/news/106790...ew-device-shows

The low end junks we find here are probably even more polluting as they don't need to conform to any emission control standards. We are not just talking of fuel efficiency and CO2 emissions here but also other pollutants.

There are lots of scooters in EU but not mopeds aka kapchais.
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post Jan 25 2020, 04:38 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 24 2020, 04:46 PM)
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Since about 1 or 2 years ago, there are non-Muslim "confinement centers in PJ" where new mothers and babies are cared for by maids for 1 month 24/7 in a cozy bungalow or semi-D setting - costs a few thousand RM. This trend started in Taiwan a few years ago.
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These centers have been around for a lot longer than that. Some are Taiwanese franchise as well where the one that does the caring are trained nurses as well as maids. I am the landlord to 2 such centers. Definitely nice places to be especially if your own home resembles a pigsty or full of undesirable inlaws. Some stay for as long as 2 months as well.

However such places are no substitute to being home.


QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 24 2020, 07:13 PM)


The root cause of your above problems was that you had unjustly or unrighteously or sinfully divorced your Chinese wife = you caused your children and wife to suffer. Did you make your marriage vows in Church.? So sad.  sad.gif

....... Anyway, the worst have passed(= your in law problems) and it should be smoother sailing from now on, especially if you learn more of the non-burdensome parts of God's Law/Word.

Happy CNY to the burdensome Chinese part of your self and your beloved family.  smile.gif
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Both the weddings weren't in church. The 1st registration was done in a certain temple in KL, can't recall the name now. The 2nd was done in Las Vegas at Elvis Chapel.

The root cause of the trouble was your idol kept his profligate ways and exported his troubles to his daughter with scant regard to her ability to repay when he couldn't keep his end of the bargain.

Happy CNY to you too.


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post Jan 26 2020, 06:52 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Jan 24 2020, 11:01 AM)
I kinda feel pity for H (the guy who was after you then ex-wife), it seems sorta like he did not know what he was getting into when he went after her and bite off more than he can chew. Also seemed like he was being treated as a spare tire or at least in her mind you were still more important than him.

I can also imagine your then ex-wife must be thinking / asking herself how did things come to this, watching everything crumbling all around her. Torn between being filial and interest of her own family (with you and the kids). Although it does seem she learned to appreciate what she had and prioritise what's important in life after this.

I am glad things have stabilised / improved for your family since then.

Edit : BTW, Happy Chinese New Year, or Happy Holidays if you don't celebrate CNY.
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Happy Chinese New Year!!


Yes thankfully things have improved leaps and bounds. It did help that she finally woke up to the reality and she did realize it would be an ongoing issue with her father but felt mostly powerless to tell him off especially when she was without a job.

She was always torn indeed, on one side there was the guilt tripping by her parents as well as cousins, on another side she realized the money wasn't hers' and she knew I didn't approve of it. She always told herself just this 1 last time and there wouldn't be a next time. It just got to it that it became one too many "just this one last time" and she always thought she had one weapon she could always count on, the children. She only realized she had fired her last bullet last March when she tried to ambush me when I visited our children and I blanked her out.

She definitely changed a lot since we got back together.

H isn't a bad guy and I do pity him as well. He did try but he didn't realize her emotional and financial liabilities or at least the extent of it. He was aware by the church policy which he was a worker at that he had to wait for her to attempt another round of reconciliation with me as the rule of that church was you can only remarry after a divorce if either before the divorce you went for 2 rounds of pre-divorce counselling and numerous rounds of prayers or if you had divorced then you must show you had attempted 3 rounds of reconciliation with very few permitted exceptions especially if there are children involved. We did go through 1 round of counselling after that I told her to name a price for a no contest divorce as I just couldn't take it any longer at that time. She named the price and set a condition that we would attempt the 1st of the 3 reconciliation within 3 months. We did and it went 26 months without any incidents then a major fight happened and we split up and I also started seeing someone else. The 2nd lasted 14 months then ended in a major war. I signed the 3rd reconciliation form, I told her I didn't care any longer what she said, she can fill it up and give it to her church. In May she told H I had signed a blank reconciliation form and he told her I was clearly uninterested in a reconciliation with her and that she should submit it, she filled out the form and stretched the truth on it which in turn caused the form to be rejected, she was told to attempt another reconciliation and he was told to stop pursuing her by his cell group leader. He decided he would continue to pursue her as he thought it was unlikely I would take her back and he thought from the way she spoke about me she probably hated me so all he had to do was to be patient with regard to that reconciliation form.





QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 25 2020, 05:24 PM)
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I believe aircraft engines, ship engines, rocket engines, power plant generators, electric generators and factory boilers also do not have or conform to any  emission control standards. If so, should they also be banned like motorbikes.?
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Aircraft engines do have limits on noise and emissions as well if they are to operate in EU as well as North America.

Ships engines do have limits as well especially where it will be entering a harbour within certain EU areas.

Power generation? There are more and more requirements for carbon and particulate capture these days even in China.

Just so you know even in Malaysia before your factory can release smoke into the atmosphere you do need to have a permit from DoE and those permits don't come cheap.

Rocket engines?? How many such engines exist?? How many scumbags ride kapchais in just Kg Kerinchi alone?



QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 25 2020, 07:32 PM)
.
The actual root cause is because you, a Gentile Christian, ignorantly disobeyed God (= 2COR.6:14) by marrying a Gentile unbeliever whose Gentile parents were full of lawlessness. IOW, spiritually, you married a dog/bitch together with many of her and her parent's lawless dog-shit because the Lord/God Jesus Christ considered the mostly lawless Gentiles as like dogs = can be vicious, biting and blindly loyal/filial if under the wrong master. .......
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Bigoted much??

This post has been edited by BillCollector: Jan 26 2020, 07:00 PM
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 27 2020, 11:53 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 27 2020, 09:57 AM)
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vehicle_emissions_control

I do not think aircrafts, ships, rockets, power-plants, factory boilers, chainsaws, lawn-mowers/grass-cutters, ATV, etc have catalytic converters or particulate filters that are mandated in cars. IOW, the emission control standards/regulations for non-cars like aircrafts, ships and motorbikes are less stringent. ....... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States...ssion_standards
....... So, if motorbikes need to be banned, so should aircrafts, ships, power-plants, factories, chainsaws, grass-cutters/lawn-mowers, etc.
.

Did you have bad road incidents with motorbikes.?
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You should spend less time having your head stuck in a 2000 year old book and try Googling instead.

https://www.epa.gov/regulations-emissions-v...-and-aircraft-0

https://dieselnet.com/standards/inter/imo.php

You can read up on the rest by spending less time on /k.
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 29 2020, 02:03 PM

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QUOTE(Afterburner1.0 @ Jan 28 2020, 12:15 PM)
Bro ur problem is everyone wans everything!!! take a few steps back n see.... in the end no one will ever own anything when ur six ft under.....
even ur MIL. Remove ur MIL and all will be better i guess...
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That is certainly true, part of the reason why I decided to let it be that they wanted war and am generally ignoring their initiatives to make peace.
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post Jan 30 2020, 04:30 AM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 26 2020, 08:53 PM)
How was the CNY holidays for your family and your in-laws.? Any updates.?
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CNY??

Eve : We had lunch at home then checked in to a nice hotel. Was originally planning for Genting but everything fully booked. Therefore the KLCC area hotel worked out well. The children mostly spent it at the pool and then at the buffet. The MIL did organize a steamboat gathering and invited FIL's 2 brothers + their families to join. She did invite us to come but wife said she didn't want to attend and instead we decided to take it easy in the hotel. The SIL was invited by the MIL to put aside their differences and to attend the gathering, she ignored and instead had dinner with her bf's family and then returned to work as the factory is doing its annual software updates and upgrades. My mother asked my half sister to invite us to their house for reunion dinner, I told the HS I preferred to remain at war and being disowned.

1st day : Children spent nearly the entire day at the pool or games room and then at the buffets. I mostly spent it by the pool, at the spa or at the bar. We hosted my half-sister and her fiance for lunch. She came to ask me to make peace with the family as her wedding is coming up in June, I told her the war will continue and there isn't a point in having peace just so they can get comfortable enough to ask me for money then be at war again when they can't get it. Evening I hosted my SIL + her bf for dinner, she said she was too busy with work to feel anything and said her mood only was spoilt when the MIL called up to ask her to go to the house for the gathering. She is booking next year to be the same want to do updates and upgrades during CNY because good excuse not to see their faces. Wife felt a bit emo at how CNY is but at the same time she also said it was good in a way.

2nd day : Children woke up, had their buffet breakfast and straight away headed for the pool, then buffet lunch and pool again and then it was buffet dinner. I mostly spent it by the pool and then at the spa. MIL called to ask if she + FIL could have dinner with us, I told her to ask her daughter, wife didn't take her call. My mother did call me to go to their house for dinner I told her I had access to better food than she could cook and seeing their faces was a sure way to make my moods go bad, I told her she said I was no longer her son 3 months ago I preferred she kept to her word. She then called my wife to find a way to make peace as it is CNY, wife told her it is impossible for peace when someone prefers war and isn't eager for peace, told her they only had themselves to blame that I had become the way I am. She then asked the wife to bring the children to the house, wife told her to don't ask the impossible as she didn't want to get a scolding from me during CNY. Overall mostly a relaxing day until nite time when wife said must go out to fix her craving as she was craving for durian...urghhh YUCK!!!!

3rd day : Again they had a round of the pool after breakfast, then checked out and went shopping for groceries. The "charsiew" stepbrother called me to ask if they could come to the house since I won't go to their house. I told him I wasn't taking visitors and they weren't welcome to visit me. He then said his father would like to initiate peace, I told him I wasn't interested as I had no interest in peace and I preferred war. The half-brother called, mostly to thank me for arranging for him to have a job and he is thankful things are improving for him, he had asked me to set him up with a contractor, I set him up with a contractor that I use for all my renovation projects, he taught him how to lay tiles and thus far seems to be doing well. He said he wished 12 years ago he had listened to what I had said instead of blindly following what his father tried to plan for him but he wasn't as daring as his sister who followed what I had said and taught her. He said he will try to do better by this year, I told him to learn as much as he can from his master and don't try to be a hero. He then told me his father isn't doing well, having hip and knee pains which in turn is causing his blood pressure to spike. I told him I wasn't interested in either of his parents.

4th day : School started for the children, afternoon was the factory CNY open day. This year I did invite the MIL+FIL to come by, told them they could invite his siblings + their family to come as well. All of them came, his 4 siblings + their families did come to the factory for our buffet, free flow of beer and XO, lion dance and angpow. MIL tried to approach the wife to talk but wife decided to be among the admin people. She then tried to speak to SIL who told her she wasn't interested to talk and decided to be among the technical people. I then gave a factory tour to his 4 siblings to show them how what used to be their father's factory had been transformed. FIL's younger brother was highly impressed with it and said he could never have imagined the factory could transform. The other 3 were more dismissive, the other brother said it didn't seem like his father's factory as all the important positions were given to White managers and how could it be that so many women were given high positions in such a factory. The 2 sisters mostly said the factory can't possibly be doing well, 1 said the furnishing in the office seems mostly from IKEA and the carpark where all the company cars didn't have a single Audi, BMW, Jaguar or Mercedes everything a Perodua but for a handful of Hondas, Kias and Toyotas. The sister that is Mr Logistic's MIL said it must be a terrible place to work, everyone forced to speak in English, then insisted must be a racist place to work for as no one that isn't White ever gets to occupy the high positions. She didn't quite understand when I told her we have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to discrimination. On the flipside, Mr Logistics did speak to his estranged wife and they agreed to sit down to talk again.

Plans for remainder of the CNY?

5th day : Going to a temple in Kuala Kubu Bharu and visting an aunt of mine (my mother's youngest sister) and who lives with one of her aunts (my late grandfather's youngest sister)

6th day : I will try to visit my stepfather's sister, the one whose late ex-husband was my guardian while I was in America. Probably will bring her somewhere for lunch. This time round will bring the wife along also, must find a way to ensure the entire conversation goes on in English else might get busted that I been hiding from her that I could understand Hakka as well.

8th day : I will be going to my usual contractor's house in Kepong for dinner, he has his annual open house and sets off plenty of fireworks as he is a Hokkien.

Overall not too bad a CNY I guess.

QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 29 2020, 02:58 PM)
.
China is presently Coronavirus-infested country. Still going to China(Shanghai.?) on 10 Feb 2020.? Quite risky, oh.!
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I am still waiting for instructions on this. It will depend on the client and what my bosses have to say. I doubt plans will change on this as by then the worst of it should be over.

In any case my first trip to China was during the SARS outbreak. Was there for 2 months and I exchanged saliva with at least 10 PRC girls and did not go back to America with SARS smile.gif
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 30 2020, 04:35 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Jan 30 2020, 09:39 AM)
I would have suggested you to bring the kids out to explore the area. Quite a few nice places to visit : KLCC Aquarium, KLCC Park, Perdana Botanical Garden, Bird Park, Canopy walk at KL forest eco Park.

Best time to explore during CNY too as I imagine it's the least crowded at this time.
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We have done the KLCC Aquarium, wife did not want to go outdoors as she said it was too hot.

Also she cannot walk too far on an extended period of time therefore such places are basically off limits for her for now.
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post Jan 30 2020, 06:20 PM

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QUOTE(KennyKB @ Jan 27 2020, 12:39 PM)
Let me get this straight TS. So the main bone of contention with your wife was the financial help that she insisted that you should give to her parents and relatives? Most wives will just accept no for an answer. It's rare to put such financial help above her marriage and breakup because of it. I hope her attitude is better now and the beggars feel guilty about causing your marriage to breakup.
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The troubles mostly came because of the way it started and what it progressed into. In the beginning I simply didn't mind the idea of paying to appease as it mostly involved small sums of money for me, she viewed it that I was taking some initiative to get on with her parents.

Then it progressed to loans. Small amounts at first and mostly below RM10,000 and for short spans of time, then it progressed towards bigger amounts and taking longer to pay. Much of this I didn't care all that much as he had introduced contacts that the profits from the deals I struct with them were much more than the amount he borrowed especially as many of those deals had very quick payouts. Basically he would ask to borrow RM30-50,000 for 6 months and usually every 3-4 months I'd have had a deal that made RM30,000 and some where I got lucky I earned near RM100,000 that RM30,000 he borrowed??? He paid then good, did not pay then never mind as one of his contacts would have helped me to earn far more than that.

Then when the amount he wanted to borrow became 6 figures and spanning a year, I decided I didn't want to be the one that bankrolled them and preferred a different approach. It also came at a time when the outlays to earn from his contacts started costing more as it was no more buying properties on the bargain but we were syndicating with developers to take up entire floors or blocks of the development. I decided to buy up what he owned instead, since he was rather desperate for money all the residential real estate I bought from him were extremely good deals if you knew what to do with them as they were mostly in bad or very bad shape but all had very nice numbers. Wife did not know this was going on, I told her to ask her father to deal directly with me and we struck deals in private using a banker she had introduced to me. She only found out because her banker friend asked her how come all the real estate I bought I did not put her name on it. She was very angry when she found out as she thought I was trying to profit from her family's hardship when I could have just helped him out without resorting to that type of underhanded tactics.

During the time when I would offer to buy, they started asking her directly for small amounts of money all the time which meant she was forever broke and broke to the point that one time she basically had no money to eat lunch or service her car and drove her car with very worn tires. She didn't tell me of her issues as she knew I didn't like knowing off money troubles and she knew darn well she was not in a position to be having money troubles as other than her car payment, fuel and maintenance she didn't need to pay a single sen for absolutely anything at all.

It did piss me off that she made that type of decisions and we fought a lot over it then I simply let her be as ultimately it was her money that she was using to help her parents.

There were 2 incidents over 12 years where she actually did asked me to fork out money to help her parents.

First incident :-
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


The 2nd incident :-
» Click to show Spoiler - click again to hide... «


She has definitely changed a lot since then.
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 30 2020, 06:25 PM

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QUOTE(V429 @ Jan 30 2020, 04:40 PM)
Ahh.. Ok. Almost forgot about the twins. Apologies.
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How was your CNY??

How goes with your apartment? Wife returned to Penang?
SUSBillCollector
post Jan 30 2020, 06:55 PM

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QUOTE(lurkingaround @ Jan 30 2020, 06:06 PM)
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Any chance of your MIL paying you about RM300k or contra something else valuable to you to buy the birthname right of the baby-boy that is growing in your wife's belly, like what Team B had offered your FIL last year.?
....... Maybe, look at it as your last parting gift to your 'not-going-to-last-very-long' FIL who had doted on your wife some years ago when she was still studying.
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Let's get some facts straight first, he may have mortgaged a house to send her to Britain but the reality of it I bought that house off him for more than it was worth. He said he spent RM380,000 for time in Britain. When he tried collecting money from her to repay that RM380,000 I bought that house for RM860,000 and a similar house was worth around RM1,200,000 back then if it was in good condition. It cost me RM880,000 to repair, restore and modernize it. Works done? Demolished all the extensions, removed all the roman pillars, converted it from 6 bedrooms to 4 bedrooms, 2 toilets to 5 toilets, new roof and ceiling, new windows and doors, "new" timber floors for the bedrooms, new tiled floors for the rest of the house, new landscape, new fence and gates, new electrical system and new plumbing system. Then it was rented out to a PRC bloke who does some import export business. She should be thankful to me instead.

I don't need to give him any gifts as in the last 12 years I've done more than enough to help him by buying up most of his real estate portfolio. Most of them have ended up the same story as the cost to fix it made it go beyond the market value. I suppose I could have used his style of renovations and constructions that would have made it significantly cheaper to fix but I don't do that type of fixes. The only thing of real value that I took on and became profitable was the factory but that was mostly down to the White managers that manage it.

I do not sell out my children and you should know in the grand scheme of things RM300,000 means very little to me.

Finally there is no reason for me to give any honors to someone who is essentially a poor and despicable man that much of his life was an adulterer and scammer.


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