Hello Lowyat forumers,

Am new here but been following several discussions on this sub folder. Finally got my guts to register and post here.

Here's my dilemma and hope I can get some serious advises or opinions.

Am married for about 10 years with 2 beautiful children. My wife is a housewife and I'm the only breadwinner in the family. Not saying I earn like Lim Goh Tong's family but we make do with what we have.

Now, the problem is this. She had never been very into sexual relation. Somewhat can say that you can classify her as a 'nun'? I think the only time she wants it is when she knows my previous gfs are all on the 'wild' side. Now after many years of marriage, she kinda toned down by a lot! Maybe once in a month or 2 months!? Now, before anyone says that she's tired, blah blah blah... Hey, so am I! Every time it's me who needs to do more 'work' and foreplay whereas she's 

As for me, I'm still very active in this area whereas my other half is NOT!

Ok ok, life is not about body pleasures and more on love etc etc, but c'mon, I love her and that's why I want to do it with her. If I don't, might as well I do it with others!

Arghhhh, am suffering and angry now. Dunno what to do? Everytime, I need to remind myself that it's MY PROBLEM and not HERS!!!! BUT C'MON, why everytime I need to be the PROBLEM!!!!

I don't know if many husbands feel the same here. But it's to share what I'm facing now. 

been there TS , and successful bought her back .

after 1st kid , My Wife lost interest in sex , well because of newborn. i didn't bother and gave a good 1 year. during this mostly monthly once , ( note : before 1st kid , we was active in sex for 7 years. )

after i talk to her about my feeling for sex and that i'm not satisfied with only quickly and monthly event, she had alot of reason , mostly tired of work and kids.it is reasonable from my point of view also. i personally do feel sex must be involved with feeling for both and love . if both feel like that , tiredness won't be a reason.

2 more years pass and dropped beautiful daughter for 2nd, clearly talking about this to her just make her go " ok la come we do sex " ...  as u said , it's all my work while she 

so i google this shit out , how to turn the table . what i find is, something so basic and almost 90% people suggest yet most won't even do, is what bring the changes .

all i did is :

- help her on house chores ( i already share the chores , this is extra when she tired or surprise her doing something she hates)

- compliment her for the right things

- as usual , talk more , listen more, get interest and ask about something she share

- take leave on random day and go out , book a hotel on weekend and stay a night out

- avoid send flower to office , buy and give her when fetch or at home. 

- massage her legs ( without end up in sex ) , touch her when u cross by.

this all feel might feel like silly young couple things BUT
it only took 2 week , i can see all the changes and she start to ask why all the sudden i do this all .
i just explain that i want to have more passionate relationship ( aka sex for my understanding   ) and feel more loved.
she felt she was unfair to me and after all this years i still seek her love more than ever 

from that day , everything changed , more sex , at least 2 times per week . we accidentally had 3rd baby because she was too aggressive and i failed to control   

now 3 kids , sex life active , we go out , she take care her body , she also bring new ideas for sex .

that is how my table turned and hope it helps . when we was couple before marriage , this is how we used to be. because of kids , marriage responsibility , work and 2 set of parents , things changed her. i realize she doesn't need 6 pack from me , just more attention and helping hand. in the end i get what i want