hi guys.

ive been working for the past 1 year and a half and everything seems well. i am a HO( house officer/ junior dr). before i entered this one department, it was all okay, but idk why it started going downhill.

i have no mood at all. i just lay down on my bed daily. dont wanna eat. dont wanna move from my bed. dont wanna go to work. i feel that something is wrong with me. fortunately i seek my hospital's psychiatrist help. he diagnosed me with depression, and started me on med. the med is no good, so after 2 months, he changed to another med. initially it does great.

while im on meds, im on sick leaves. i dont go to work. i informed the highest boss ( my head of dept), but i guess he din tell others (which is fine by me actually). but my colleagues and some of the other doctors starting to dislike me. they think i just go mia. lots of scolding and sarcasm in the whatsapp group. i just ignore them.

family? not so supportive. they're kinda worried if i lose my job, then who's gonna support the family. kinda stressed at home, so i mostly spend my time at my house which i rent near workplace.

about the meds, initially i feel good. but since i started working back few weeks ago, i feel worse. i cant sleep at nite. getting scolded even at simple stuff makes me cry. people are laughing behind my back. i started to skip work again. waking up in the morning almost impossible. my mind will think about 1000 ways for me to skip work today. i talked to my psychiatrist about this, but again, he said, everyone has that. everyone feels that. i just need to move on, or im moving no where.

now im back to no mood. at times ill go to work by noon, feeling guilty that im not working as im supposed to. why noon? because morning is always impossible. even sometime i get dressed to go to work in the morning, i always got back to bed.

i dont know what else to do. all the useless hopeless feelings are back.

not everyone will be able to take the stress of being a HO.
if u really can't cope with the stress, maybe it's time to consider a change in job
medical rep is a good choice

have you tried exercising?

"working for the past 1 year and a half and everything seems well."
"before i entered this one department ..."

what exactly are the circumstances of your work dynamic in your new rotation? although what you seem to report to your psychiatrist seems general at best, it seems something has happened to make you feel insecure to lapse into depression.

Hangout with friends and family

1. Tell your family your situation
2. Take a notepad write down what makes you have stress and going into depression. Once you have written down you can slowly resolve the issue you have.
3. Think positive
4. Have friends to talk to to release

Depression is not an easy thing to clear in a snap.

you cannot depend on med only.
hope you can stay strong and become more stronger everyday

Hang in there Dr. Wishing all the best for you. Do you attend psychotherapy sessions?

This post has been edited by reil: Jul 27 2019, 02:00 AM

Just wondering how are you now? Have you gone back to work?

What department?
O g?

No offence, but just to check: at work, did you do your job well ?
if no ,try re-evaluate your self and see if you really suitable for the current job/position.
and if your decision is you want to continue, then try find ways to do better at your work.

come do gardening with me.. don't think too much about your problem, work and other peoples. things will get worse when you put too much thinking on it and getting depressed.

consider changing to evening shift?
I also liat to get up go to work in morning, no motivation at all
watch some youtube comedy channel la, and go to sleep listening to healing binaural frequencies (from youtube), it helps

Yes, laughter and being surrounded by like minded and cheerful people does help. As the saying goes, "Laughter, the best medicine".

It is likely the medicine (or anti-depressant) has sedative effect.

I'm sorry you feel this way. Please know that we are here for you.

Do not keep it inside. Let it out, talk to someone close. And when shit really hits the fan, it's ok to go AWOL (with permission of course). This allows you to recharge and gather your thoughts.

A common practice is to write down your thoughts and feelings. Rationalize it because the real cure is deep within yourself. Another common practice is "reappraisal", where you reappraise the situation. E.g If you feel depressed, if you feel like crying, tell yourself that you're going through this because it's necessary for a stronger you. This is not positive thinking per se, which usually doesn't work. This is a total rewire of your mental processing. Give it a try. Once you fully recover, you'll realize the worth. Heck, you might even laugh at yourself.

Research also shows that curiosity helps. Try something new. Learn something new. Maybe it'll help.

Again, you're not alone. It'll get better one day, I promise you. Patience is key here. Do not lose hope.

This post has been edited by m_man: Sep 11 2019, 10:53 PM

How are you...

Hm i do feel you.. Though i told one of my friends who is a doctor.. Now mo already..and i think she care less besides she just said-change your job. Hm. I just realised that, no use of telling her anymore..
I am not in medicine line... But i know your feeling.. You are not alone

Being in the medical line is a stressful profession. Must really love what you do or look for other alternatives because the longer you drag every day, the stress level will spiral out of control beyond salvation.

Yes can imagine that. We have to support each other right...

Indeed. Peer support helps every much as well.