Hello ladies, i need some serious opinion here. Me and my bf have been together for almost 8 years now. I believe almost every relationship also goes through the same periods ie; start with sparks & fireworks, then slowly subside, then stabilise and then here's the scary part which is getting bored/ nothing much to talk about. I think im around the stage of getting bored/ lesser things to talk with each other.

The thing is, sex is no more a regular or exciting thing. I am not sure if I did not perform so well (like the beginning of a relationship) but I am pretty sure I did my part as a gf or girl. Last time we can have it twice or even 3 times a day but now, its only once a week or not even once a week! and i freaked out that maybe he is having an affair outside???

FINALLY after a few rounds of confrontation and argument, he spilled the milk. He said he is encountering a problem with his 'brother'. He finds it difficult to stand or stand long enough to satisfy me. He only tell me about his problem after we fight and almost had a break up. Is this how guys work???? They just cannot let down their ego, be honest and open about anything? It is not like i am going to leave him if i know about his problem although this is a serious problem.. I still love him a lot though but im afraid what if next time he is still good with his ego and hide things from me?

do you ladies have this 'guy ego' problem too?

First thing first how old are both of u? It's not an easy thing to share but since you guys start to voice it out it would be awesome if he would be sharing with you what would spike the play and I meant openly if you really like supporting him...vice versa you should tell him the same thing as well...good luck

get a kid.

spare some love into kid.

take care kid together.

Dun use children to bind a relationship.
If the relationship not work out at the end, everyone will suffer.

But for some the kids save the marriages

try viagra or penis enhancing drugs, see if it works. May also try doing a 3some to make things exciting again.

All the best!

Why children when obviously they are not married, seek for counselor if both of you are keen to saving your "8 years" relationship and not here in /k

Try something new and exciting. like new position or try role playing

You're having what is most commonly known as "married people problems" except that you're not married. This happens when you've been with the same person for more than 3 years, give or take (some say less, some say more).

Your boyfriend is finding it hard to perform simply because its no longer as exciting as it was. This is normal because he's banging the same person. NOBODY jerks off to the same porn more than 3 times in a row.

Remember that tingle in your nether region when you guys first started doing it? Yeah, you just gotta get it back. How? Role-play, fetishes, etc. Basically anything that you guys can agree on that is out of the ordinary sex routine.

Talk, share your kinks and revive the fire (or tingle).

random lyn frontpage passerby comment here:

for a guy 1-3 times a day can be tiring. not being able to perform can really hurt a mans ego.

on another note, when a guy stops communicating, it really depends on the type of guy he is.

if he is the more sensitive type, he should open up to you and him not talking means something is seriously wrong, perhaps depression or he really might be bored of the relationship.

if hes the manly man sort of guy it would be hard to break his ego/shell.

for a man, not being not able to perform can be VERY depressing. it can lead to a downward spiral where they may feel insecurity that their girl will leave them and no girl will want them. they may also lose their confidence.

if hes telling the truth try and see how to work things out.

if you dont trust him, maybe keep a closer watch on him discreetly. he might be up to something.

that said, for a guy to admit such a problem, thats something guys normally would really hate to do. on the flipside its the perfect excuse if he cheats. coz most guys once their appetite is full will just not be in the mood.

i have been married for 18 years and its still the same throughout these years. Thing might get bored sometimes and that's where u need to try new things and positions... A holiday to somewhere exotic always helps spark the fire. For your case, the doctor is the 1st place to visit.

Most cases i heard....save marriages but suffer (dying inside out)
Husband still kaki pukul,drug addict and so on

Communication is the key to any relationship, not kids.

i can only think of 2 reason for your case :

1) your bf is bored with you hence you no longer can stimulate him
2) he is having an affair outside

truth hurts but u have to accept this and see what both of u can do about it.

p/s : try play porn video while having sex. it will prove that my reason 1) is right

So it is either he is really really bored with me or he is really cheating? I am not really sure if consulting doctor would be the best because sometimes when he really wants it, he can go really hard.

I don't think having kids to savage a relationship helps in any way as what if things turn out really ugly? I could work for some people but I do not think that would work for me though... I mean, wont all party suffer especially the kid to either lose the dad or mum if the parents were to divorce.

Another suggestion is to bring back the spark.. well okay, this might be a good idea but i don't think i will go with 3some or some fetish stuff.. or does guys actually like those things? I wouldn't mind to introduce some sex stimulants like toys or yeah maybe a little bit of enhancement supplement perhaps? Any suggestion on this?

I'm not trying to get him 1-3 times a day or even asking for it everyday. lets say if you really love your partner and your partner really loves you, wouldn't you want him/her to share everything with you? I cannot accept the fact that why do people need to hide things away from people they love? Yes, this might be a very depressing situation to a man but as a gf, i would prefer him to share everything with me be it happy or sad. I want to go through good and bad times with him. I would like him to share his life with me. I'm not only with him for his 'brother' or sex... he don't seems to get my point whenever i'm trying to tell him this

communication is the key... maybe u guys need to open up to each other more...

from my point of view theres only 2 possibilities:

1. he is insecure and may be suffering depression because of his issue

2. he might be finding satisfaction somewhere else but just using that as an excuse

regardless of which is which, all i can say is just be supportive but also keep a watch on his behaviour.

perhaps go out on more dates? remind him of how its like to be in love?

8 years relationship? That's a bit too long. Even marriage stale before reaching that long.

As for sex though, I don't think you should force yourself and think negatively. Men loves to fuck at first, regardless of quality. However, that will change. It's not about quantity, but quality.

i want also dont have hahaha.. come be my gf better..

The kid does not "save" the marriage.

The parent were forced to stay together because of the kid, despite not having anymore "love".

maybe u can encourage him to starting taking supplement like candy b or vimax. and yeah some cosplay to spark up a bit.

anyway does your bf love playing pool or snooker ?

If I may add, sometimes having a kid at the wrong time destroys the marriage.

I've seen such cases personally. Quite sad because they used to be so nice together and now barely even talk to each other except when they need to do something with the kid / etc.

If I may add, sometimes having a kid at the wrong time destroys the marriage.

I've seen such cases personally. Quite sad because they used to be so nice together and now barely even talk to each other except when they need to do something with the kid / etc.

well, most guys embarress la to tell their gf about thier "Brother"issue... good that he spill it out after some argumnet. now u know wat to do la... Guy ego is always there cannot avoid. just that have to sit down and tell him you love him and support him whatever situation...

I think this is normal la.
I have a friend, had sex almost everyday when they first together, and after few months, they didn't have that regular and later on, not even once a month. But they still live happily ever.

For your case, it is ego problem for not letting you know but it is very normal for a guy. After he split out, now you should try to understand him.

BTW, 3 times a day, i think a normal guy's little brother would not be able to stand for 3 days after that battle.

yes, ego it is

" BTW, 3 times a day, i think a normal guy's little brother would not be able to stand for 3 days after that battle." is that so hahaha

would the supplement help? would it trigger his 'ego' more by making him feeling kinda 'useless' that he need to take those supplement

exactly..thats why, nope, definitely not my way to solve this issue

I did try to bring it back to those days but it worked sometimes, and sometimes not. I made sure we have had more serious talk so that i get to know how he is doing as we are not staying together. Anyways, he reassured me that he is not having an affair outside.. but i'm still feeling kinda insecure. Sometimes he seems so tired and fatigued and totally not in the mood for it. I'm really thinking to sizzle things up maybe the supplements? anyone tried those supplements and how is the effect?

For quality wise... I think i have kept myself quite fit with regular kegel exercises... and quite flexible in terms of sex. Is there anything that men won't get bored with?

3 time a day isn't easy.........
can try tongkat ali supplement at watson, dont think having affair first la, this will hurt the relationship a lot

Not really about your body. The quality of sex refer to the sex act itself. Like you gave in to his needs when you were tired or stressed, it is just not the same. Or when he's the one who always initiate it, then he can also feel frustrated.

The process is normal, now the life is full of stressful, so communication is important, should pay more concern and care his feeling is better than argue.

It's normal for 8 years relationship.
You can't expect he will have sex frequently with u like beginning when u said u already did ur part. U have to do more than that to keep sexercise excitement such as role play, wearing uniforms and etc.

I always surf at a Taiwan forum where they will share the pictures of their partner's sexy parts, cause they will feel exciting when the comments are about saying how envy or lucky to have such a great body gf etc.

It's like the things when more peoples want it will make you baby it more.

Some even going further till having threesome.

You can try to make him jealous like talking with another guy in front of him, praise random guy in front of him etc, the jealousy will make him wants to "conquer" you.

those are drugs type of viagra, not supplement!
please get advice from doctor before buying this things

wait till you got baby to take care

tired like shit , sleep better

I strongly urge you to have heart to heart talk with your bf. Not all problem is the same across couples. As one former pointed out, as time goes by, the frequency will be less and the quality of the lovemaking should count.

Quite possible that 8 years on, you guys are more established in your careers and carrying more responsibilities. That does tire a man/woman out easily from the everyday stress and that does affect the ability for the man to perform. From experience I find mornings to be the best time to have sex as you're both fresh from sleep and not drained from work/other commitments.

Lastly, maybe you both can talk it out on how to spice things up in the bedroom. Maybe he has some secret fetish he would like to try. Maybe you have some secret fetish you want to try as well. Stimulate the brain and that's the beginning to stimulating other parts of the body.

sometimes this reason is the best to cover "hes eating outside food"

if got caught just say kena "black magic"

thats how guys go thru all this

u need try harder to stimulate him... make him exciting...



like putting ice cream on a ice cream

Hmm... thank you for the advice..maybe morning might be a good time for some exercise, will try it out thanks!

thats the thing..so guys memang like that ke?

Wouldnt ice cream's coldness give shock to it? sorry to ask i have no idea on this

All the best to you both. For what it's worth, I think you're a pretty awesome gf willing to go through and do so much for the both of you.

"the shock" factor is what he really need i guess...

i mean not necessarily direct on that part.. but literally is to try something new for both of you...like a different place... or different way of teasing...

If you haven have a deep talk with him about what he wants and would like to do it, maybe you can try.

This post has been edited by zhengqian88: Mar 8 2019, 08:56 AM

guys lie because girl likes to listen

Maybe, just maybe... he may be cheating on you. That is why his didi is no longer excited with you. It happened to my female friend. Her BF also no longer interested to sex with her. Later found out he has been banging another girl almost everyday.

So when he is all satisfied and happy... he no longer has any interest in my female friend sexually.

up to you la. You asked for our opinion in a public forum, you get all sorts of opinion. up to you whether you wanna believe it or not.

Communication is likely the answer here..

Sometimes as we age, performance is a problem. Sometimes it could be due to stress or work. I'm married with my wife for years and though sex is only once a month or two, we love each other a lot. There are better things in life than sex as we age.

+1 stress

There's always new ways to spice up your sex life, TS

To overcome your bf, Ed problem.

It's not about ego, erectile dysfunction is a very serious thing and men get very hurt about it. It affects their self esteem very badly and they feel shameful about it, so much so that they may hide it. Be comforting, understanding and loving and don't blame him or pressure him, especially for not telling you. Support him and tell him you will be there with him and that you don't judge him or think negatively about him because of this. Viagra is available to help your sex life. Don't despair.

ED doesn't mean he can't get hard all the time. Sometimes he can, sometimes cannot. Trust him and believe in him, and reassure him. Whatever it is, he must see a doctor. Try to talk nicely to him and get him to see a doctor.

This post has been edited by zyrtec: Aug 23 2019, 11:50 PM

Hows the situation now? I hope you both happy now...!!!

Let's not go to worst case scenario first.

It could be just the fact that you guys have been together for a while now and sex is no longer as exciting as it first was. It'll happen if you've been in a long committed relationship. Doesn't mean he loves you any less. Just make the most of it when it does happen. Quality counts in these cases.

Things like age and career progression can also get in the way of things. Busier at work and stress can really take the mood out. Try and talk about it frankly and see what can be done to move on from there. I always stress to my family and friends that communication is always the key.

You should let us know abit of your bf lifestyle. Smoking, no exercise, drinking and still expect hard as rock is dreaming. If he got excess stress from work or tired aso will become limp. For a guy to keep performance, exercise is v important. And keeping a good and jovial mood helps too.

Dont worry too much. Mayb get a schedule to exercise together and by the third day he be pumping u breathless already...(if thats what u wan). Btw sex is ntg special when u r together. It is the connection and respect between two person. U think all loving old ppl still pumping each other meh.

Age, work stress, less sleep, money problems.
All this will effect men brother problems.

Dump him!

is he too into internet porn and he dont like the real thing anymore ?

If his comment is true, didn't you feel something was wrong with him on the bed?
The number lessened, but it doesn't seem that you felt something different when doing it.
Besides, you doubted his emotion, not his body function.
I've heard some men's story that they don't want to do it with their partner but they do it without any problem with other women. In the end, they divorce or have affairs.

Nicely suggest for him to go see a doctor. Say you still love him.
If he refuses, hmm... I highly doubt him.

At least, you are not married. You have more choices compared to the married.
Take your time and think about your future.