Hey all, i don't usually post around here. But since i had my afternoon to myself. Had been reminiscing on my past and how thankful i am to still enjoy life 8 years on from the day. Felt like sharing, maybe someday i will look back to this.

To start, it was late November 2010. Was gonna sit for my STPM papers, and have been fighting depression throughout the year. So no second guesses on how the results would be anyways, i ended up failing 3/4 papers. The day before my first paper was when I drooped to the lowest slump throughout my life. The feeling that I've failed myself, my family and everyone around me. When i sat back late at night, about 3 AM+. Had made the decision to end it all. This had been coming no doubt throughout the year. The preparations and planning took on about 30-40 mins.

And before i went ahead, I decided to call my dad. He was serving in the UN army overseas at the time. It was about 4 AM+ and he was shocked to receive my call, and asked me what's wrong. Of course i didn't tell him what i was about to do, all i said was sorry for not studying well and sobbed throughout the whole call. He was calming me down, i'm grateful i didn't end the call cause what he said next will be the turning point.

"Whatever happens in the exam, don't worry about it. Go and sit for the papers if you can, else just skip it. I sent myself to this 3rd world country to serve not because it''s my job. But to send you and your sister to University. I'm making enough money now, when i'm back we'll look to get you into foundation or diploma course. I know you didn't want to do STPM but i had no other choice given our situation at the time. Now it's different. So don't worry if you fail, there's always another way around."

He said he will call me back in 5 minutes using his office phone, since the phone bill was gonna boom.  Overseas call was not cheap at the time. He ended the call, and said wait for his call.

This 5 minutes got me thinking, even though i'm fighting multiple issues at this time. Studies was least of my concern. But it meant so much to him that he'd sacrifice he's life to go overseas. All for the sake of sending me and my siblings to Uni. The next call came in, slowly but surely he got into my head. Next thing i know, i stopped thinking about ending it. Went to bed. Slept and woke up after a couple of hours and went for the exams. Failed all tho.

That night spurred me on. Placed my past behind me, went to sign up for foundation courses using my SPM cert. Got into a reputable Uni. Toughest 5 years of my life. Failed multiple times, But persisted to get up and continue on as i was half way or close to the end. Graduated with a cgpa of 2.5 in Finance field. Thankfully got an internship with a reputable bank, did well and impressed them to a get a permanent job and placement. Earning a comfortable earning at the moment. Recently bought a pretty expensive car and could see the happiness in my parents face.

This is in no way a showcase of my life or current good lifestyle. But to think back and know all this moments I'm living in now. The laughter, happiness and joy i bring to folks and receive back in return. It could all never have existed if i didn't make the call. Depression is a serious issue that we often overlook. Pressure exist from all stages in life, it's how we understand the pressure and use to our best advantage to spur us forward as a catalyst.