Basically every small and big matter in the firm will come to me since I am the most senior there. From supervising/monitoring junior/intern staff to boss' own matter like her property's tenancy and so forth. It was bearable at first however as time goes by it became unbearable. At some point of time staffs were leaving one by one, some were forced to leave and the workload is piling more and more on the existing staff since there is no new hire (dont know why it seems to be so difficult to hire/get new staffs and the turn over rate is so high. Is every where else the same? Or is it no one looking for job?).

My portfolio in the firm was as a conveyancing cum corporate advisory and commercial drafting associate.
We handle and attend to the conveyancing files from the beginning (drafting of agreement) to the end without any assistant (save and except for corporate advisory and commercial drafting whereby partner will involved). No complaint on this maybe I'm used to it. It was alright and I would say quite fun? where at one point of time when we are rushing to prepare documents for oversea signing trip. 3 of us and yes you didnt heard wrongly and only 3 of us to prepare around 50-60 agreements or more in one go for the overseas signing (prepare, checking, binding, colouring, packing, etc). Which was really so last minute where we got to stay in the office till 2-3am just to finish it. I am happy during this time. No complaint.

However, as your ranking become higher your responsibilities increases as well as your workload. Barely have sufficient time to complete the files on time (files handle by me), I was then given more responsibilities whereby I was required to train, oversees and monitor the junior staffs on their work as well as the work of the other branch office (which most of the time required to be dealt asap ie, within an hour or two once informed by the branch office).

Whenever junior faced with problems with their files, I am required to solve their problem first so that they can attend to it and their work can run. So their problem will eventually become my responsibility as well in a sense and I have my own files to handle. I will be the first person to answer the boss when problem arises from my juniors' work. Already working from 9am-9pm daily but still unable to attend to all the files at hand (files handle by me) that required attention as most of the time spend on solving other's problem. So I would consider myself doing other people's work as well and got chase like hell from all directions, boss, client, agents under the pretext of urgent/need to be fast/to show client of our efficiency. In this line of work, time frame is very important. I couldnt afford any late in attending to the files as it will resulted to penalty.

Besides, I am also required to attend to miscellaneous work from time to time such as the firm's yearly bank panel ship renewal as well as the partners' practicing certificate renewal.  Also need to ensure that the documents are delivered/collected on time to the respective parties/by runner. Moreover, the firm is lacking of a system for staff to follow. There isnt any system available and it is always in accordance to the whims of the partner.

Further, as Im sitting near to the boss's room I would be hearing the boss's shouting and screaming almost every single day. Although I am not the one being scolded but it does create something in me (fear and something more.. Im not sure what) against the boss. and it put me into thinking "oh shit. sooner or later I'll become like them" which give me the feeling of stepping on the egg shell everyday.

You must also be ready to be a mediator among the staff whenever any bickering/argument arises and to find out their cause of argument. and also require to check on the staff well being from time to time whether they are happy/ alright with their job so that you will be able to answer/report to the boss from time to time. Why do I need to take care of others while I have my own problems?.

Is not like I want to complain but it just too much for me. I feel exhausted. I have tried to go on long leave (2 weeks) for soul searching/ to recover from my exhaustion but its of no use. It only temporarily heals me. The exhaustion, unhappiness, frustration, grumpiness? comes back after awhile. and according to my family members & friends my behaviour changed in becoming quite an impatient person. There is once I wake up in the middle of the night just to cry and I had no idea why.

After so long, I again feel that this line of work is not to my calling. I want a change of environment and also seek for work life balance where I am able to spend more time with my family and friends. 
After contacted with Covid early this year, it make me realize that life shouldn't consist of only working, working and working. I should as well enjoy while I can and I'm now doubtful if I still have passion to continue. I'm so reluctant to go to office everyday, not enjoying and not even looking forward to it.

Im not sure if all firms are the same or just that Im unlucky to be in this firm or even worst its my own problem that I cant overcome it.